progress

I only started this job last week. This was my eighth day and I was asked at the end of it if I would be the assistant to the housekeeping manager. Big news indeed. And I guess it has a lot to do with the attention to detail. But the biggest thing that comes from this is self confidence. I had been self employed for the last almost 9 years. Six years ago I started looking for reliable work that would get me out from under the subcontracting umbrella. I had not found anything in all that time. I was starting to think that there was no way that there was going to be anything for me anywhere. But here we go... housekeeping super assistant. And the thing that amazes me is that the other candidates have done housekeeping for more than 3 years each. I've been at it for almost 90 days. Bizarre.

delay, detour or the destiny of the damned?

For good or bad, I have taken a "real job". I am housekeeping. It is good honest work. But so is what I was planning for myself. The difference is that the people I had thought I wanted in my life didn't see it that way. So for a long time I put my art on a shelf. And now I feel like I am on a quantum tangent that leads away from my goals. I have looked at my studio and can not even open the paint tubes.

Of course the pain in my hands from all the scrubbing I've done in the last eight days could explain a lot of that. But I am so tired and sore that I don't want to do anything. My mind rails against the stagnation but my body complies with its lethargy.

The quote on today's board about the greed of gain destroying beauty in life and nature to turn all things into money seeps through my bones like poison.

Any one have a mirror device to put me back into the right universe? I think I slipped the veil a while back. I want to go home.

The best place to start is where you stopped

Is that profound? I don't know, it just seems so... logical. So where I left off doesn't fit in the scanner. That means backing up and taking a running leap. So I went with the traditional layered card, light on embellishments and ooh.... in blog colors too.

My Geekdom for Mad people skills.

I have mad rubber stamp skills, mad scrap booking skills, mad jewelery skills, and mad cooking skills. But I do not have mad people skills. I am nervous and uncomfortable without a half hour to settle in.

Ooh! I have mad learning skills. Perhaps the more I am familiar with the given material the more comfortable I will be?

That means since there is only one filed I know so well... i should stick with that field and not depress myself with starting over. Only moving forward.