technopheobe strikes back!

Ha!
I figured out that I can download photos from the webcam without having the idiocy that is Vista downloaded first. Currently I am waiting for JSingles to approve my very smug photo and a caption that says"Look Dave, I am smarter than HAL!"
I have to say, I am pretty darn proud of myself that I figured it out without a bunch of help. But people who were yammering for me to post photos should have pointed out that the webcam can save photos independent of Vista. Unless they didn't know and of course they are forgiven.
Monday will be a photo op day. I won't have much time to blog between court, finding a house and photo taking. But I will endeavor.

dream a little dream...

Vivid lucid dreams seem to be de riguer these days. I was talking to a friend about the fact that he can remember his dreams for hours after he wakes up. I've had similar experiences with the dream state. I thought that it had something to do with the fact that I have been meditating and under a lot of stress triggered by the estate thing. As we were talking, it occurred to me that this may not be the case.
My friend has had these dreams since heart transplant surgery put him in a coma. I've been like this since I had my brush with death and staph infections. I've been listening to other people talking about how vivid their dreaming is. It's either some thing that happens because the brain is trying to process everything before the next time it gets close to death (in case no one can pull you out) or because the experience itself changes the wiring.
In either case, like I told my friend, I don't think there is a medical solution for this. I think it is permanent.
Most of the time it isn't too bad. The other morning I had a very disturbing dream. I woke to it the morning of the day I was to meet ACG. I woke at 7:30. I could still see the faces of the people involved at 11:30 when I made myself leave the house. This mornings dreams took on qualities of a set of dreams that began in the early part of 1996. Time alters all things. I saw how TC would be developed and how people who were different would be marginalized and sent off to live in a poor rural part of the county. I saw the bay paved over with the broken stumps of defunct street lights spaced through it at regular intervals. If those dreams start again while I am in this state of lucidity, I may have to go insane.
When I wake from these dreams I can feel the sensations that my body felt during the dream. The TC dreams culminate with a drizzling rain of fire. Dazzling droplets fall from the sky like the little teardrops of fireworks from some of the star burst patterns. When they fall they don't lose their heat. Trees and grass start to burn first. As it rains harder, everything is on fire. I am waist deep in the bay, just passed Greilickville, with a short white haired toy dog. I don't know who's. It takes forever to get to water deep enough to cover me. The rain falls on the dog and he yelps. A drop grazes my shoulder and the pain is beyond searing. I look up at the clouds. There are no clouds. I can see the stars through the fire fall. I know we are dead.
If I have to feel that dream more vividly than I did, I will have to loose my mind.

Classic rock/pop/punk is not a marketing tool!

I am so disgusted with the thought that great songs I loved for what they added to my life are being used to slowly rewrite my hardware to associate them with products. I do not want to link my tunes with some piece of gadgetry that will be out of sate and require another song to be used to promote a different product. I know, Sting endorsed a hybrid with the Brand New Day album.
That was his personal choice, the product reflected his personal ethic and the music was new and fresh and yet yet associated with friends and good times. Besides, I blindly follow my muse. De Doo Doo Doo...

Fear is an inky black shadow

The quote at the top of the page is exactly the thing that I should be applying to everyday circumstance instead of letting that be one of the shoes that drops on my head with a resounding hollow thud. DOH!

revelation having nothing to do with the End Times

I am back to the reunion thing again for only one reason. I have been absolutely astounded by the persons who have sent friend requests. I don't know that I should be. But I am. I never asociated with them in highschool. Some because of the trauma that was middle school. Some because I thought there was no way they'd want to hang out with me. And some because I was told there was no way. And here is something that I think I can attribute only to the techno age we live in: these are not the same people that I went to higschool with.
I've checked out the profiles of the people that made the friend requests. For the most part, I could hang out with them these days. I would never have guessed that they would be into the things that they are into/done what they have done with their lives. And, I never expected that I could have anything in common with many of them.
So, here's the revelation: if we weren't so busy being/fighting/trying to figure out how to function in the artificial society of Catholic school where our parents put us, we may have gotten along better. We may have seen each other for who were are. But we all were viewing life through the should have/had better glasses. All of us were probably frustrated trying to be ourselves as well as the cookie cutter copies that our religious training was trying to make us. It is most likely the frustration from the disconnect each person felt internally that caused most of the problems. I read these profiles and I think that there is no way Bob Martin would have been the only one of us that the establishment would try to get rid of. And, the Powers that were (inside joke to my 'mates) would be surprised who would have ended up on the McCarthy list. Fer cryin' out loud, I was voted class nun! I am Jewish!
Now I definately want to go if for no other reason than to test this hypothosis. I'm not much into live sporting events having to do with football, But I may even consider going to the Homecoming game. What up with that?

Now what?

So...
ACG drove up from Chicago today. It was a short visit. It was a good visit. Actually it was a great visit. I'm sure that in my panic I made a bunch of dating no no's. I wasn't sure what to think about all of this. I'll explain.
When I put up a profile it was a spur of the moment choice. I had been working on researching the figures for investors to want my business to succeed as much as I want it to. Ten weeks and the info proved to be elusive despite the best search engines that google can engineer. So, I amused myself. I put up a profile. The next day I went to take it down. While driving to an undisclosed location, I thought why would I do that? How can you slam the door in serendipity's face when you practically hog-tied her and dragged her to your door? How not very synchronicitous is that? As daVinci said to Henry in Everafter, "Fate has a lot to do. Sometimes you have to give her a hand." At the very least, don't tell her to step off. Oooooh bad karma. Bad bad karma. So I left it up. My inner Vulcan convinced me that I had nothing to fear in doing so. After all, it would take at least a couple of weeks to get some hits. It would take a couple more weeks to filter through the minutia and find the essence of someone I might be interested in. Then it would be at least 12-15 weeks of Internet talking to find out if there was to be anything more than just net buddies. That, my inner Vulcan said, was worth the trauma of having to describe myself-which I hate- using pick and chose menus that are as user friendly as penciling in standardized test answers-which I hate- on a computer that doesn't obey my commands to click where i say to click-which I despise more than than all the Ferengi in all of the explored universe and beyond. And only at that point would I have to worry about meeting him. My close to the surface pessimist reminded me that when I put a profile up 7 years ago I got NOTHING. I would probably get nothing this time too. Hakuna matata.
My c2ts pessimist is an IDIOT!! I got a lot of interest. But after two months of watching the offers come in, no one's name stood out. I never even looked at the photos. I eliminated guys who advertised voracious sexual appetites in their screen names. Then I eliminated guys whose hobbies were in their names (hunt/fish/shoot/muddin'/et all) then those who weren't very creative. Then an ad caught my eye.
I knew my site linked with other dating sites. And I fell for the "click here to see 7 messages waiting for you at[redacted]". Can you say "DOH!" Homer? Yep. Gull-a-Bull! Since it turns out I'm not so shiksa as catholic school could make a girl, I signed up. The next day I got a couple of hits. I've already said how well that went. But I tagged someone. He tagged back. That was ACG. And ACG came to town today. Yes, kids, the math on that puts it exactly 12 weeks and 6 days ahead of the Vulcan's estimates. Of course she will say that the human factor makes an accurate hypothesis impossible, given the erratic nature of the variables. And, after all, "You did ask me to guess. Vulcans don't guess." Yes, she's a sarcastic inner Vulcan, she must get that from her human mother. Let me correct, Vulcan's don't guess WELL (underscore well). And now that I have met him ahead of the fantasy schedule that some idiotic pointy eared devil devised, I find I am even less prepared than I previously thought possible.
I froze. I couldn't think of any place to go. My estimated driving time was faulty and so was the site's. When he got here I was still so wound from nerves that I barely got him to the point at Old Mission. I spent all day yesterday frantic about what to wear, uncertain of how orthodox orthodox was. I settled on mini skirt and kinda wished that I had chosen jeans. My curly hair frizzed and flattened just for him (stupid hair) and I just wanted to die. I had him meet me at Kathy's shop, since I feel really comfortable there. Bev and Karen were really sweet. Karen even gave me an emergency number in case I had to bail. I knew I wouldn't have to, ACG is really awesome. If anything she may have had to bail him out if my stomach had turned any more Cedar Point roller coaster corners. All in all... I was a wreck.
But, meeting in person was just like talking on the phone and IMing. He is much more attractive than his profile picture... but then no photo ever captures a person accurately. And he sounded more relaxed and less up than when we are on the phone. That may be due to the quality of my phone and the length of his drive. He did hug me before he left. And he said we should plan to meet again when we can spend some real time together.
I am hoping that means he didn't waste the trip and that he wasn't just being polite. ACG is terribly honest about his opinions so I will take them at face value. But I think to myself, now that I am calm enough to write without heavily relying on the backspace key, this felt very good. I don't mean felt good like a chenille sweater. I mean felt good as in my soul felt sunshine through the darkness of my own anxiety.
That's the way my soul feels when I meet kindred people. It's part of how I recognize people that are safe to be around even if a personality is somewhat abrasive. Comfortable is kind of an insulting description for a potential Someone More Than Friends... like a zip up sweater. And that's not how I mean comfortable. I mean that the only one who was giving me fits today was me. Last year when Chris set me up, I wanted to get away from the guy almost the second that I saw him. He did not make my soul feel sunshine. As nervous as I was about the fact that I don't have a picture up, I felt okay to be in my own skin. He didn't run screaming so today was a good thing.

So what happens when we get our butts bombarded by solar heated plasma radiation?

Ask the dinosaurs.

The magnetic field that protects us from most of the super-charged plasma that comes our way after a solar eruption is thin over the South Atlantic Anomaly. That is near the part of our ozone layer that has been "depleted" for the last 25 years and attributed to the greenhouse effect. It seems to me that the issue is one of galactic warming which no amount of "green" thinking is going to fix. The sun is agitated and sending these flares throughout our solar system. Every planet is heating up [Tortion Physics Model, Hoagland]. And the planets that haven't any ozone or have thin magneto spheres are getting their butts handed to them. The plasma streams continue ad infinitum until something blocks them. With our planet wobbling because of some aberration in core stability, the magneto sphere is thinning to a greater degree than ever before. I don't know what gastrointestinal affliction is giving the planet fits in its juicy molten center and we don't have the antacids for it. But the result is a serious lack of planetary defense with more dire consequences than losing internet connections when the satelites fail.
Imagine a chicken breast left in the microwave too long. That is us. I suspect that bodies of water will evaporate. Rivers will run with blood, or at the very least it will look like it because the atmosphere will shift in the spectrum and water derives its color from what it reflects. Mountains will fall. That will be less from the microwaving and more from the huge belch from the core as the sloshing suddenly stops or the molten metal is just regurgitated. Plagues will manifest. Radiation poisoning causes boils to appear. The higher the intensity the more the skin erruptions look like a magical curse. Animals will die in herds, people too. Most of those people will be in Africa's southern provinces... groound zero since that is the area of The Anomaly. The North african coast will have similar problems. No one will be immune. But the greatest devestatin will be here. makes me wonder where the Bible's prophets get their info. Did they get the NASA channel? It all will look remarkably like the End Times purported by the Repent for the End Is Near camp.
Just like it looked the last time it hapened. 2012 could very well be the unfortunate convergence of two unstoppable circumstances. After all... how do you solve a problem like solar radiation?How do you stop the sun from flaring? How do you hold a molten core by the hand?
If I don't sound as distraught as I should be, it's because this shift that is coming is something I can't change. I can only hope that those of us who are left, will be the meek that inherit.

paintings on the wall and baskets of cards all around

I've had this dream for three years. I went to a show at the home of a local stained glass artist, Brian Strickland. It was amazing. His studio is always open. It is the basement of his home, an old converted church. Immediately I went home to try to figure out how I could make this happen for myself with my artwork.
My home, at the time, had great light despite being on the second story and jutting into a maple tree canopy. The north and westerly light streaming in the windows provided me with all the illumination I required. And the green canopy gave the feeling of being in a tree house. The white walls made a perfect display. Of course, as I started imagining a show for several select invited guests, I mentally painted the walls a soothing color that would set off the colors of my artwork. I had planned for several plant stands, sans greenery, to buttle baskets of my hand stamped cards of a theme similar to the paintings. Pier 1 has very reasonably priced wine flutes. A couple dozen would have served up a nice light wine to go with the whitefish or chicken salad in mini pitas. There was enough work for a show. It would have been smallish, but it was a small apartment.
Now when I daydream about it, I add red pepper humus in celery sticks to the menu. But I can't see the building it is in. I also can't see anyone coming. I have been ousted from that home by circumstance. It was my security blanket. The home I grew up in. It had beautiful energy. These days I am surrounded by so much chaotic energy that I can't see anything permanent in my future here.
Verta says that is why it is time to move. I've been dragging my heels for the two years that she has been saying this. Fortunately my collection has grown. I also have jewelry to add to the product mix. But I can't see taking all of this with me to go somewhere else. Neither do I see myself parting with it. Oh sure, some of this could be leftovers from dealing with my brother. The devil you know v. the one you don't and all. But there is more to this than that codependent enabling label that so many want to slap on my arse.
Very simply, the heart needs to be open to create art. It is never more open than when we are engaged in the care of others in addition to ourselves. The self is nothing to live for. if it is the only thing then it is pointless. I refuse to live a pointless life. But my art demands my heart be open to others. It just refuses to open to those who have designs on its freedom. So for now I am in limbo.

so peple think he is some new agey freak...

that doesn't negate the validity of his life's intelligence.
I happened upon his show while channel surfing. it's a good program. He doesn't DJ so much as report. It's better than the old days of entertainment tonight (or whatever that show was). This is all stuff tht we can use. I especially like the fact that he delivers sans judgementality. How rare a thing is that?
Check him out at http://www.tesh.com and on the vair at lite 96.3fm in Traverse City

all the geek that's fit to print

Oooh... now that I am online(sort of) with my own computer, I can wait in breathless anticipation for STAR TREK ONLINE a multi-player game that made it to the Vegas convention this year. I know how I will spend my Mondays and Tuesdays... boldly going where a new star ship captain can go at one half sub-light. I normally suck at these kinds of games. I'm a retro geek- PAC MAN forever!. I think its just because I have never been given the opportunity to increase my proficiency. Someone has to be the adult. PETER PAN forever! I usually have a house to take care of. Not to mention that creating artwork and researching iconography is rather time consuming.

Space.com is running an article about the effects of the solar wind and a weird sloshing in the Earth's core causing distortions in the magnetosphere. In other words, they think that a polar shift is coming. If a solar flare hits before the field stabilizes after the shift there is potential to fry a lot of life. According to geologic surveys the 1st polar shift was almost instantaneous after several years of dithering. In other words, (I'm taking one huge short cut here- watch your step) when the Mayan calendar ends Dec. 21, 2012, it may be that the polar shift has caused a large amount of people to simply evaporate.
A solar flare that can fry or penetrate the ozone layer carries the same magnitude of radiation as detonating all of our nukes at once. The myths and predictions of apocalypse and rapture may well stem from events such as these that have occurred in our ancient past.
I'm not an astrophysicist by any means. And I freely admit that my postulation borders on speculative fiction. But after years of reading articles on the subject, I can connect a few dots. And it doesn't make a pretty picture for people who like things to stay the same.

I say screw the free trial software. I will just buy the full version.