I used to do that as a kid. It started with a long story of about 32 pages when I was 7 or 8. And it kept right through highschool. I had a notebook of short stories. And then whe ni got out of baby math and into the grown up math classes i still needed extra credit. And Mrs. Schumacher let me write. I wrote one chapter every week to turn in on Friday. The chapters were hand written, averaged 20 pages and ended with the lead into the next part of the stroy. It was a fantasy story and the school year ended before I finished the story. I wrote myself into a corner and could n't get out to startthe next school year. But I didn't have her for a math teacher again.
I wish I could remember that story.
I wish I could reconstruct the one I wrote for Mr Trapp's AP writing class. Unfortunately the computer really did eat it and other pieces of homework and I couldn't get them off the disk again.
I need to feed my imagination.
Getting ready to move have sucked up alot of brain power. And trying to keep two steps ahead of my brother has fried several internal circuits. Then there is the class reunion that is taking up my imagination... there are a lot of things that I want to have happen. Chief among them is to finally feel okay being myself. Wil just endorsed spontaneous public dancing in the grocery aisles and that is definately something I would have done and did do throughout school. I've had some of the nicest things said to me in hte last few weeks. Its hard not to let that go to my head. And He Who has sent me an email requesting more information. I want to write anything but that response right now. I just don't know what to say...
I'd rather write a SG-1 fanfic short centered on Ba'al or a STNG with Wesley as a reinstated Captain in the midddle of a fire fight than write the response I asked to be allowed to write.
Why do I do this to myself?
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Keeping my fingers crossed...
I will look at new digs tomorrow and hopefully be in them in two weeks. It's on the water, all utilities included and it's pretty cheap. I ask myself how a great deal like that can fall into my lap. But it's either because it isn't a great deal or because I asked for it.
Now, the other part of keeping my fingers crossed is the hope that I will have money to buy equipment and get this party started without the economy tanking. I am counting on the government to fail its enslave the populace through economic upheaval roll. I am still looking at less than 5000.00 to start sans computer and software for design. I can start for 4000.00 if I sell only the clear stamps and have a computer. The first plan can get as expensive as a full 10,000.00 to have what I want to start with.
That brings me to a turning point. I had only been thinking starting out full tilt. But, I could scale back and start from a more affordable place that would allow for expansion and give me base capital to sit on for a while instead of spending it all. Let's face it, spending it all is a knee jerk reaction to keeping Bro's mits out of my accounts. It isn't smart. It's just me being reactionary...
So now I think that it is a good thing to start a little more basic. I'll have to think more on this. I had a lot against the clear polymer stamps when they first came out and not much has made me like them better. But the market demands them without understanding that they are getting an inferior product. This is a case where what the consumer wants had better drive the producer regardless of the producer's misgivings. Of course the makers of the raw material will improve the product to meet our requirements. But still... in this sitution I will provide what is asked and keep the superiority complex as silent as possible.
Yeah I know... prepare to be amazed.
or stunned into your own silence.
Now, the other part of keeping my fingers crossed is the hope that I will have money to buy equipment and get this party started without the economy tanking. I am counting on the government to fail its enslave the populace through economic upheaval roll. I am still looking at less than 5000.00 to start sans computer and software for design. I can start for 4000.00 if I sell only the clear stamps and have a computer. The first plan can get as expensive as a full 10,000.00 to have what I want to start with.
That brings me to a turning point. I had only been thinking starting out full tilt. But, I could scale back and start from a more affordable place that would allow for expansion and give me base capital to sit on for a while instead of spending it all. Let's face it, spending it all is a knee jerk reaction to keeping Bro's mits out of my accounts. It isn't smart. It's just me being reactionary...
So now I think that it is a good thing to start a little more basic. I'll have to think more on this. I had a lot against the clear polymer stamps when they first came out and not much has made me like them better. But the market demands them without understanding that they are getting an inferior product. This is a case where what the consumer wants had better drive the producer regardless of the producer's misgivings. Of course the makers of the raw material will improve the product to meet our requirements. But still... in this sitution I will provide what is asked and keep the superiority complex as silent as possible.
Yeah I know... prepare to be amazed.
or stunned into your own silence.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Sitting in a coffee shop contemplating life, the universe and everything is not the best way to meet guys
Or is it?
I've been here for a while, checking e-mail and obsessing about that physicist, having an iced mocha, reading sme comics, cruising you tube for the new X-men/Marvel movie trailers and doing some covert people watching.
There is a rather atractive man sitting by the window. Don't know how long he has been there or what he is working on. BUt I have been trying to catch his attention for about 20 minutes. Every once in a while, I gaze at the ceiling as though there is a thesaurus/dictionary/elusive memory to capture while I am writing. I hope that it looks less like I am checking him out and more like I am stumped and going about my own business. I've seen him looking; I can't call it checking back. He's gone to the counter for another cuppa. And now, I am wondering...
How do you just walk up to someone in a coffee shop and say "Hey, you wanna go out?" or "Share a table" if the place fills up like it did on Sunday? yes, I've seen this kind of thing in every John Cusak-Breakfast Club-MegRyan/Tom Hanks movie and it should be as easy as walking over to a table and saying "hey" in some form or another. The brain tells the body to stand, then walk and then say something that does not require a +30 roll to save. It requires some measure of aplomb, decorum, confidence and while I am here writing this entry he will get up and leave and go about his day. What will happen is that I will sit here and think about this until the opportunity leaves and I am forced to promise my self that I will act the next time the opening is there.
This is, and yes I am counting, the 15th next time an opening has presented itself. And what am I doing while I am typing? I am making all the faces Tom Hanks made in you got mail while he was trying to answer Meg's business questions. It looks like I am concentrating and not paying any attention to him. Yes, I am thinking I have that part down pat. But how does the next part happen?
How do people take this kind of a chance with so little to go on.... oooh, I just did Duckie!... it's madness. Why couldn't I have been born with a bit of boldness to go with the brains? Ocourse, with wi-fi the way it is, he could be doing that cool thing that Blain did in the library to get Andie's attention. He could be reading what I am writing while pretending to be lost in what he is typing. He could have gotten up for coffee a little while ago to better get a look at me without the sun in his eyes. But, what is more probable is that he will continue to battle the sun for a view of his computer from his perch in front of the coffee gift display case. He is probably covertly checking out the trio of young women in front of him and not the slightest bit interested in me. Or... he is just so engrossed by the work displayed on his screen and already married that he doesn't notice anyone or anything.
And still... I have no idea how one finds the guts to approach a total stranger. Even if that stranger looks suspiciously like someone whose profile I have seen on a dating site. One could argue that I can't be that interested if I would let whatever hang up is hanging me up to hang me up. I could chalk it up tothe distraction of trying to eliminate Dionne Warwick from my consciousness as she is whining bout saying her prayers. Others could say that if I can't find an ounce of courage that I am not ready, not looking for him to play the part of Mr. Right or that I am just a big chicken.
Bawk.
Oh look, he's packing up and heading out. I have exactly 2.5 minutes to find the courage to say "Hey." I probably only had a 1 minute window when he walked over here to throw away his coffee cup. I can say chump. chump. I am an idiot.
This never used to be a problem when I had tons of guy friends around to hang out with. I am seriously considering that this whole plak tow thing is simply because of isolation. I just need people to hang with and this wouldn't be an obssession. I wouldn't even care. It's just the deprivation. I need to find people to game with.
I've been here for a while, checking e-mail and obsessing about that physicist, having an iced mocha, reading sme comics, cruising you tube for the new X-men/Marvel movie trailers and doing some covert people watching.
There is a rather atractive man sitting by the window. Don't know how long he has been there or what he is working on. BUt I have been trying to catch his attention for about 20 minutes. Every once in a while, I gaze at the ceiling as though there is a thesaurus/dictionary/elusive memory to capture while I am writing. I hope that it looks less like I am checking him out and more like I am stumped and going about my own business. I've seen him looking; I can't call it checking back. He's gone to the counter for another cuppa. And now, I am wondering...
How do you just walk up to someone in a coffee shop and say "Hey, you wanna go out?" or "Share a table" if the place fills up like it did on Sunday? yes, I've seen this kind of thing in every John Cusak-Breakfast Club-MegRyan/Tom Hanks movie and it should be as easy as walking over to a table and saying "hey" in some form or another. The brain tells the body to stand, then walk and then say something that does not require a +30 roll to save. It requires some measure of aplomb, decorum, confidence and while I am here writing this entry he will get up and leave and go about his day. What will happen is that I will sit here and think about this until the opportunity leaves and I am forced to promise my self that I will act the next time the opening is there.
This is, and yes I am counting, the 15th next time an opening has presented itself. And what am I doing while I am typing? I am making all the faces Tom Hanks made in you got mail while he was trying to answer Meg's business questions. It looks like I am concentrating and not paying any attention to him. Yes, I am thinking I have that part down pat. But how does the next part happen?
How do people take this kind of a chance with so little to go on.... oooh, I just did Duckie!... it's madness. Why couldn't I have been born with a bit of boldness to go with the brains? Ocourse, with wi-fi the way it is, he could be doing that cool thing that Blain did in the library to get Andie's attention. He could be reading what I am writing while pretending to be lost in what he is typing. He could have gotten up for coffee a little while ago to better get a look at me without the sun in his eyes. But, what is more probable is that he will continue to battle the sun for a view of his computer from his perch in front of the coffee gift display case. He is probably covertly checking out the trio of young women in front of him and not the slightest bit interested in me. Or... he is just so engrossed by the work displayed on his screen and already married that he doesn't notice anyone or anything.
And still... I have no idea how one finds the guts to approach a total stranger. Even if that stranger looks suspiciously like someone whose profile I have seen on a dating site. One could argue that I can't be that interested if I would let whatever hang up is hanging me up to hang me up. I could chalk it up tothe distraction of trying to eliminate Dionne Warwick from my consciousness as she is whining bout saying her prayers. Others could say that if I can't find an ounce of courage that I am not ready, not looking for him to play the part of Mr. Right or that I am just a big chicken.
Bawk.
Oh look, he's packing up and heading out. I have exactly 2.5 minutes to find the courage to say "Hey." I probably only had a 1 minute window when he walked over here to throw away his coffee cup. I can say chump. chump. I am an idiot.
This never used to be a problem when I had tons of guy friends around to hang out with. I am seriously considering that this whole plak tow thing is simply because of isolation. I just need people to hang with and this wouldn't be an obssession. I wouldn't even care. It's just the deprivation. I need to find people to game with.
Words
They are funny things. And they can have so many meanings depending on context and spelling. Every time I watch CNN and I see the closed captions get something horrendously wrong I think computers are stupid. But then I look at how the Record Eagle fails a credibility save by not using spell check. It's English. It's that people can not take time to pronounce things properly or slow enough to be understood and then I wonder why I care.
I was talking to ACG the other day about the quality of print media. My own personal opinion, after having been in it for ten years, is that print media needs to die. Oh, I love my newspapers and my magazines. Don't misunderstand... there is something nostalgic about a paper, and something completely necessary about having hard copy of a newspaper. But it needs to die.
The reason being is simple... I've read too much science fiction. Just like all the idiots bent on owning the world and everything in it. In Fahrenheit 451, everyone lives by the wall sized TV screen. Its their life and their information. They are dumbed down by banality and they are hypnotized by the illusion of importance by participating in interactive television. And the TV's work both ways. THEY can see you as easily as you can see the other actors. The TV becomes a means of monitoring the people.
We are switching to digital broadcast in February of this year. If something is aired "by mistake" it can be erased from the memory as easily as striking a delete button. The new TV or the new converter box could theoretically monitor everything going on in the house besides tracking your subversive TV choices. But more than that, the TV can be used to broadcast specific messages to specific groups simultaneously. Obama says something... you hear it one way... I hear it another and then we get into some serious wag the dog orchestrations. Everything can be denied. But with a print paper, you have in black and white, the evidence of your opinion that someone else was not paying attention.
If we are to be completely manipulated by our government them newspapers must die. And they are complicit in that death. They give content away instead of charging e-subscriptions. They allow slipshod reporting, biased op-ed pieces and they reduce their delivery routes to force more people to the websites. NPR talked with editors and publishers of several major papers across the country to see what they were doing about the problems facing the nations media. There is nothing they believe that they can do. And why should they? The government spends money to bail them out of some of their losses through subsidies on returned or unsold papers. They have no incentive to stay in print. They will make money until they've angered their last customers.
I know I sound like Frank from "You've Got Mail" without being as eloquent. But one cannot deny the quality of the print media has decreased right along with the nations test scores.
I was talking to ACG the other day about the quality of print media. My own personal opinion, after having been in it for ten years, is that print media needs to die. Oh, I love my newspapers and my magazines. Don't misunderstand... there is something nostalgic about a paper, and something completely necessary about having hard copy of a newspaper. But it needs to die.
The reason being is simple... I've read too much science fiction. Just like all the idiots bent on owning the world and everything in it. In Fahrenheit 451, everyone lives by the wall sized TV screen. Its their life and their information. They are dumbed down by banality and they are hypnotized by the illusion of importance by participating in interactive television. And the TV's work both ways. THEY can see you as easily as you can see the other actors. The TV becomes a means of monitoring the people.
We are switching to digital broadcast in February of this year. If something is aired "by mistake" it can be erased from the memory as easily as striking a delete button. The new TV or the new converter box could theoretically monitor everything going on in the house besides tracking your subversive TV choices. But more than that, the TV can be used to broadcast specific messages to specific groups simultaneously. Obama says something... you hear it one way... I hear it another and then we get into some serious wag the dog orchestrations. Everything can be denied. But with a print paper, you have in black and white, the evidence of your opinion that someone else was not paying attention.
If we are to be completely manipulated by our government them newspapers must die. And they are complicit in that death. They give content away instead of charging e-subscriptions. They allow slipshod reporting, biased op-ed pieces and they reduce their delivery routes to force more people to the websites. NPR talked with editors and publishers of several major papers across the country to see what they were doing about the problems facing the nations media. There is nothing they believe that they can do. And why should they? The government spends money to bail them out of some of their losses through subsidies on returned or unsold papers. They have no incentive to stay in print. They will make money until they've angered their last customers.
I know I sound like Frank from "You've Got Mail" without being as eloquent. But one cannot deny the quality of the print media has decreased right along with the nations test scores.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Well, I don't know what to say about this one...
For starters, I am a gate geek. I have been in love with the show since it came to the sci-fi channel. And I love science. I am also a kabbalist. The two really do go hand in hand and yes, as a friend pointed out, it can be dangerous to play with these things when one lacks maturity and compassion and faith. So, as you saw from other posts, I think the LHC is a good thing. There are others out there that I have found who truly have lost all reasonability and believe that it will open a stargate (stable worm hole) to Hell and release Satan.
First, a worm hole and a black hole are TWO different things. Second, the person who is propagating this stargate theory does not give any credit or source information with which a reasonable person may investigate the claims. That makes me suspect from the start. Beyond that, I am terrified of the people who believe there is any purpose to the LHC other than developing a better understanding of the universe.
Currently being discussed on their religious boards, is the belief that the scientists are working for aliens to open a gate to release Satan and allow the Ananaki to return. Frankly, if Enki could return he would not need our help. If not for the purpose of subjugating Earth then they believe that the LHC is designed to either sterilize or "turn" them into homosexuals by mutating their genes. Several people, including a self described minister will have wrapped their weiners in foil. If aluminum foil could prevent anykind of particulate mutation then there would be little need for any genetic research, we could prevent all sorts of disease just by wearing foil suits.
The things they discuss reveal a complete lack of intelligence, a foundamental disregard for the sanctity of human relations and, as I have feared all a long, are nothing more than uneducated frat boys looking for a reason to party. The end of their world, should they really believe this is it, should not be cause to sink to their lowest human instinct, but rather a final attempt to reach for their Maker. These ignorant voters will undoubtedly be voting republican in this election, hoping that this disease can be spread through their own political agenda through the Christian right who see Satan behind every door.
They have gone so far as to compile a list of persons who should be destroyed in the final countdown. I find the list appalling as it demands absolute rule without mercy.
See them yourself at landoverbaptist.net.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. And remember the most sanctified thing in our world is us. No matter how you disagree with someone, that G'd made them is a reason to give them mercy and Compassion. Unless you believe in an eye for an eye. Then remember this, when they are done eliminating everyone they dislike because of a FANATICAL interpretation of their rights under their religion, they will come after you when you have shown them something to dislike about you. But... if everyone else is gone, who will watch your six?
I don't really care how you interpret your faith, by what dogmatic machine you live your life so long as it is lived in the Spirit, with the Grace and Mercy available to all from the Creator. What I care about is people who use their narrow interpretation to puff themselves up. These people who have made a lengthy list of death sentences have forgotten one very important, key verse of their own doctrine... "that ALL have sinned and fallen short". The same thing that drives fanatical Islam is that which drives Fanatical Christianity, fanatical anything... pride and intolerance and an extreme case of self righteousness. G'd save us all from ourselves. Satan does not need to lift a finger to destroy humanity... we are rushing to do it for him.
First, a worm hole and a black hole are TWO different things. Second, the person who is propagating this stargate theory does not give any credit or source information with which a reasonable person may investigate the claims. That makes me suspect from the start. Beyond that, I am terrified of the people who believe there is any purpose to the LHC other than developing a better understanding of the universe.
Currently being discussed on their religious boards, is the belief that the scientists are working for aliens to open a gate to release Satan and allow the Ananaki to return. Frankly, if Enki could return he would not need our help. If not for the purpose of subjugating Earth then they believe that the LHC is designed to either sterilize or "turn" them into homosexuals by mutating their genes. Several people, including a self described minister will have wrapped their weiners in foil. If aluminum foil could prevent anykind of particulate mutation then there would be little need for any genetic research, we could prevent all sorts of disease just by wearing foil suits.
The things they discuss reveal a complete lack of intelligence, a foundamental disregard for the sanctity of human relations and, as I have feared all a long, are nothing more than uneducated frat boys looking for a reason to party. The end of their world, should they really believe this is it, should not be cause to sink to their lowest human instinct, but rather a final attempt to reach for their Maker. These ignorant voters will undoubtedly be voting republican in this election, hoping that this disease can be spread through their own political agenda through the Christian right who see Satan behind every door.
They have gone so far as to compile a list of persons who should be destroyed in the final countdown. I find the list appalling as it demands absolute rule without mercy.
See them yourself at landoverbaptist.net.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. And remember the most sanctified thing in our world is us. No matter how you disagree with someone, that G'd made them is a reason to give them mercy and Compassion. Unless you believe in an eye for an eye. Then remember this, when they are done eliminating everyone they dislike because of a FANATICAL interpretation of their rights under their religion, they will come after you when you have shown them something to dislike about you. But... if everyone else is gone, who will watch your six?
I don't really care how you interpret your faith, by what dogmatic machine you live your life so long as it is lived in the Spirit, with the Grace and Mercy available to all from the Creator. What I care about is people who use their narrow interpretation to puff themselves up. These people who have made a lengthy list of death sentences have forgotten one very important, key verse of their own doctrine... "that ALL have sinned and fallen short". The same thing that drives fanatical Islam is that which drives Fanatical Christianity, fanatical anything... pride and intolerance and an extreme case of self righteousness. G'd save us all from ourselves. Satan does not need to lift a finger to destroy humanity... we are rushing to do it for him.
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