Wow, guys! Thanks for all the feed back on those Independence posts. Glad to know I can still stir up a hornets nest. Largely though, I think you all missed my point, which I thought I had made sufficiently. Not well, mind you, but sufficiently: Tony Nelsons, And the Dick York Darrens don't deserve a Jeannie or a Sam. Both were arrogant, verbally abusive and laid blame for their mistakes directly at their women's feet. Granted Jeannie misunderstood a lot. But she was also the one most taken advantage and Tony seemed to always blame her even when HE failed to communicate. If there were TV dad's who deserved someone with phenomenal cosmic powers it would be the men with even tempers, compassion and the understanding that their woman did not, as Archie said, come from a cheaper cut of meat.
As I said, loved Jeannie's bolero jacket and harem pants. I wish I had someone to be home for, waiting in anticipation. But I run into a lot of Tony's and Darrens. I'd love to be that excited about getting home before or staying home to greet my man. I am not, as I said a femi-nazi. But I'm looking for a Charles Ingalls. Not once did I notice Caroline shrink from Charles when he walked in the door. Jeannie and Sam did a lot of that. Not once did Charles use Caroline's name as a curse word the way that Darren used Sam's. Tony would bellow for Jeannie like a herald of Armageddon... who wants that? Not me.
And that's what I meant. I have learned the skills necessary to be a domestic goddess/genie/whatever. I have also learned unnecessary but fun skills. And it makes me madder than William Shatner's self aggrandizing that I don't have anyone to share those skills with. But when my man comes home and dinner isn't done because the risotto is being temper mental or because someone at the grocery store had to spend 15 minutes arguing with the only cashier about the price of every item in her cart... I'm NOT getting yelled at. If Caroline were late with dinner Charles just took a little longer to wash the grime off and spent a few minutes relaxing. John Walton, should Liv ever have had to cook for a surprise visit from a client and wasn't ready with dinner, had the brains to go off and entertain the guest for a few minutes. Tony and Darren got mad then got under foot. Not happening. And if there were any other reason, like just having an off day, that Caroline or Liv didn't rush to Charles or John the second they walked through the door then Charles or John would go to them, wrap their arms around her waist while she was standing at sink or stove. How hard is that?
It is hard to find someone like that these days. That may be why I am looking for an older guy. of course there is always family tradition to uphold. [smile] For the most part, like I said before, I want to be Jeannie or Sam... just not to Tony and Darren. And yes, part of that is selfishness because I am tired & lonely. Mostly though its because, as my sister said, I make a great fan. I am a superfangirl.
Again, I am independent by necessity not by choice. I make a great fan. And the number one thing you are as a girlfriend or wife is your partners fan. It means you really like them a lot. it means you always care about what they are doing, want to do and that you don't let them feel emotionally unsupported. It doesn't mean that you have to do everything for them (Darren) but that when they want to do something, have done the risk/benefit assessment, that you are there. Yeah, no. I'm not giddy stupid with the pom poms... never has been me. Never will be me (I hope). But if you run yourself ragged working your butt off for your boss, I will meet you at the door with a bottle of lotion and something refreshing for you to drink... commencing back rub. It also means that I'm not gonna complain about not getting any extra help at home if you suddenly end up working a bunch of overtime. I'm already pretty good about not being emotionally needy so it won't be hard to hold off heavy discussions during times of intense working conditions. It means I'll fuss if you're sick even if you tell me not to... oops. But you know what it also means?
It means that you aren't getting yelled at for things you can't control. You get all the action you need/want because when I am my boyfriends fan I am giddy stupid about the intimacy. The other thing that is good about me in total fangirl mode is that no one gets to put you down for anything. And I miss me in that role.
Sure, Star Trek just upped the ante on its franchise so I'm still that kind of fan girl. The Wheaton is ever awesome so my superfangirl gets to cheer for him all the time. And no, I didn't forget Castle. Nor have I forgotten about the awesome maintenance guy at work. Yes, I am a fan girl. But I can't do for Trek, Wheaton and Castle what I want to do as a superfangirl. And so far for whatever reason the one I thought most likely, most worthy, won't let me either. My soul lives to praise people. My heart wants the one person, for however long I get to have him, I can fangirl squee over in a reciprocal relationship.
I don't want to be independent. But statistically there are more Darrens and Tony's than there are Charles and Johns.
I hope that clarifies things for you guys and you girls who jumped my case on this one. I don't know how I was misunderstood. And, just in case you still think that I am a cold hearted and logical bitch, let me say that in the field of 9 contending Knights, there is only one that I hope will take advantage of the ginormous lead he has over the other contestants even if sometimes he is a scamp who should have title of Knave. Well, no. ESPECIALLY because he is a scamp.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
political outrage
I know this is so like me. My response to anything political is to quote Sting: "De do do do. De da da da" and call it a day. Problem is my new outrage involves Sting. Well the music industry.
And it's the auto makers fault. "Oooh bail us out bail us out. We knew NAFTA would fuck us right along with our own short comings but we agreed with you so bail us out." And the govt did. And because the car companies got a deal, mortgage lenders get a deal and the rest of us get very expensive "free" health care if govt gets its way now the Big Wigs at the record labels who have been ripping artists off for years want a piece of the bail out help. But make now mistake, they aren't calling it a bail out. Apparently having learned from the payola scandal that a spade is a spade is a spade they have initiated a Performance tax bill.
This means that besides the licensing fee that radios stations pay to play music to us for free, they will now be required to pay a tax for the privilege of playing the schlock and drek the record companies are producing at alarming rates these days. you'll still get your standard favorites of the 60s, 70s and 80s (for now). The problem is that it is an unfair tax. They are looking to recover revenue from lost sales since the digital age which they helped launch took over their business. Last time I looked the price of a downloaded album was comparable to a CD but you don't get the cool cover or the lyric sheets. I paid 12.00 for Sting's new CD in a book bound format with great back story from Sting. CHEAP! But I didn't set the price for the collectible book. The company did. In that instance the record label was in no danger from the digi-boogeyman and in fact didn't charge what they could have. Drat!
The record labels are crying foul. But hello... the music industry (prepare to be blown away by an unsubstantiated fact) is one reason that technology has advanced so rapidly in the last 15 years. I didn't here them lament the death of the record store. I didn't see the price of a CD drop significantly after the new tech came out of its infancy. They've gouged their buyer, cheated their artists and grown increasingly greedy over the years. If the digital revolution is such a problem for them then they need to lay down and die and get out of the way or they need to go a little Sun Tzu and use the enemy's strength against it. They helped create this monster under the bed and expect us to go chasing it for them. Hello? Did they not read Frankenstein? Build a monster, treat it poorly and then the monster goes SMASH!
Really how laughable would it have been if Frankenstein had pleaded with the villagers to save him from his own creation? +100 on the Williams scale of funny. They would have done what the government needs to do to the record label. Shrug innocently but helplessly and turn their backs on the greedy, pompous execs. If they want to survive they need to quit stealing and make the new technology they were so gung ho about work FOR them instead of AGAINST. geez. It ain't rocket science. Hell it isn't even as complicated as 10,000 monkeys writing Shakespeare...
They can just back engineer something else the aliens left with us*. Grow up guys and solve your own problems.
*That is supposed to be funny. One dark government theory posits that the Compact Disc technology was reverse engineered from debris/evidence left after the saucer crashes across the globe in the 1940s. The government couldn't make a lot of headway in producing equipment to sufficiently utilize the information stored on similar discs found in Roswell and other locations so turned it over to private industrialists whose R&D departments worked to prove the NASA ads "Space. Here's what's in it for you."
And it's the auto makers fault. "Oooh bail us out bail us out. We knew NAFTA would fuck us right along with our own short comings but we agreed with you so bail us out." And the govt did. And because the car companies got a deal, mortgage lenders get a deal and the rest of us get very expensive "free" health care if govt gets its way now the Big Wigs at the record labels who have been ripping artists off for years want a piece of the bail out help. But make now mistake, they aren't calling it a bail out. Apparently having learned from the payola scandal that a spade is a spade is a spade they have initiated a Performance tax bill.
This means that besides the licensing fee that radios stations pay to play music to us for free, they will now be required to pay a tax for the privilege of playing the schlock and drek the record companies are producing at alarming rates these days. you'll still get your standard favorites of the 60s, 70s and 80s (for now). The problem is that it is an unfair tax. They are looking to recover revenue from lost sales since the digital age which they helped launch took over their business. Last time I looked the price of a downloaded album was comparable to a CD but you don't get the cool cover or the lyric sheets. I paid 12.00 for Sting's new CD in a book bound format with great back story from Sting. CHEAP! But I didn't set the price for the collectible book. The company did. In that instance the record label was in no danger from the digi-boogeyman and in fact didn't charge what they could have. Drat!
The record labels are crying foul. But hello... the music industry (prepare to be blown away by an unsubstantiated fact) is one reason that technology has advanced so rapidly in the last 15 years. I didn't here them lament the death of the record store. I didn't see the price of a CD drop significantly after the new tech came out of its infancy. They've gouged their buyer, cheated their artists and grown increasingly greedy over the years. If the digital revolution is such a problem for them then they need to lay down and die and get out of the way or they need to go a little Sun Tzu and use the enemy's strength against it. They helped create this monster under the bed and expect us to go chasing it for them. Hello? Did they not read Frankenstein? Build a monster, treat it poorly and then the monster goes SMASH!
Really how laughable would it have been if Frankenstein had pleaded with the villagers to save him from his own creation? +100 on the Williams scale of funny. They would have done what the government needs to do to the record label. Shrug innocently but helplessly and turn their backs on the greedy, pompous execs. If they want to survive they need to quit stealing and make the new technology they were so gung ho about work FOR them instead of AGAINST. geez. It ain't rocket science. Hell it isn't even as complicated as 10,000 monkeys writing Shakespeare...
They can just back engineer something else the aliens left with us*. Grow up guys and solve your own problems.
*That is supposed to be funny. One dark government theory posits that the Compact Disc technology was reverse engineered from debris/evidence left after the saucer crashes across the globe in the 1940s. The government couldn't make a lot of headway in producing equipment to sufficiently utilize the information stored on similar discs found in Roswell and other locations so turned it over to private industrialists whose R&D departments worked to prove the NASA ads "Space. Here's what's in it for you."
Monday, January 18, 2010
what I meant to do
Today was supposed to be the day I sat and made CD's to listen to the Memories of the Futurecast at work. Since I was going to have 3 days off this week and am down to one I didn't want to spend it at home. Home is not condusive to productivity of the kind that I am accustomed. So I am at a coffee shop, swapping emails with a potential date, catching up on blog posts from friends and looking for more blogs to follow. I'm also supposed to be finishing a piece of fiction but the atmosphere here is too distracting. I should have brought my earphones so I can listen to Pandora.
Any thoughts I had of being productive have gone right out he window. The cold has worn me down and the building frustrations outside of the man issues have me in a fog. Is there anything wrong with wanting a day to shut off the mind, reconnect with the spirit and just retreat sans invading Huns on your arse? No. And yet, while I know it is essential to take the time to reboot yourself... I feel guilty doing so. Nonsense I know.
Any thoughts I had of being productive have gone right out he window. The cold has worn me down and the building frustrations outside of the man issues have me in a fog. Is there anything wrong with wanting a day to shut off the mind, reconnect with the spirit and just retreat sans invading Huns on your arse? No. And yet, while I know it is essential to take the time to reboot yourself... I feel guilty doing so. Nonsense I know.
Independence Day III
because all good things come in trilogies and I am obsessing...
So I am talking to my friend J. Told her what the Knight Knave asked me and that, as per geek rule #1 I'd been thinking. I hate the idea that I need to be "rescued" because to me that sounds emotionally and mentally weak. I've never been those kinds of weak. Weak willed at times? Yes. Weak Knee-ed? Who hasn't? But never mentally or emotionally weak. Throw down some heavy shit and I will tackled it for all I'm worth. Of course that has meant a fried brain on occaission but only as an end result of unsuccessful effort NOT for lack of trying. I think that needing rescuing in the vein of say Snow White or Cinderella is frailty. I look at those myths and think that both women are too much for even a strapping young Prince to deal with; a thought that usually ends with "I hope she's good in bed." I know that is bad.... it doesn't say much for the Charming One. But I've watched how some women make their men miserable by being difficult either on purpose or by nature and then wonder why 20 years down the road why he's gone. And happier. I never wanted to be one of those women who drove her guy away.
But then independenc hasn't won me much male companionship either. A balance is needed. And like I said before, it's mostly because it is necessary to be independent. And I really do hate it. But there is another side to this coin that I hadn't talked about. If I am going to be rescued there is a trade off that I don't know it I can committ to. J thinks I'm being silly. I am truly frightened because if I chose to ever make the choice to allow myself to be rescued and let go of this stubborn and foolish pride then there are things I have to committ to, even if it is only in a dating relationship. And with those stakes I have to be absolutely certain of the man and forget the myth and the legends.
I don't like how I am living now. I want a place where I have a non futon bed. I don't want to share my bedroom with my studio anymore. I want to keep a studio and produce like my life depends on it. I want to walk around au naturale again if the fancy strikes. If I allow myself a rescue then my gratitude will show in my cheerful performance of all the domestic skills I have cultivated; cooking, baking, setting a table that says "I think you are special.", keeping a clean house, providing a beautiful backdrop for comfortable living (interior design/decor), handcrafting special greeting cards and messages, being the best parental assisstant I can be, massage, empathy and generally being for one person all that I am at work and better. And this is just the stuff that I KNOW a guy wants, generally. I have to use all my powers of observation and empathy to figure out what he wants that I don't know about.
I have to trust him to not take advantage.
The best news is that I don't think the Knight Knave would abuse the gifts I have to offer. I am worried though that I might be overlooking a subtle clue that he'd dropped. Which makes me wonder... Jeannie or Sammantha Stevens? I can't stand how arrogant and rude Major Nelson is. And Darren's unwarranted self assurance of his authority irks me the way it irks Endorra. The Knight Knave is not Tony or Derwood. I see that everyday. He is just a guy who does the best he is able and tries not to get kicked in the teeth by women who lack the fundamental graces of say a Caroline Ingalls. But I'm not a shrieking harpie like Harriett Oleson either. I often wonder, even when there are no prospects on the horizon, if I really could be happy doing Caroline's job. Do I want to do Caolines job? And what ever happened to "No Pets. No Kids. No Man. No Mess"? What good is a personal mantra if you don't use it?
Sadly folks, I think you might be in for four installments on the subject as 3 hasn't really brought me any answers.
So I am talking to my friend J. Told her what the Knight Knave asked me and that, as per geek rule #1 I'd been thinking. I hate the idea that I need to be "rescued" because to me that sounds emotionally and mentally weak. I've never been those kinds of weak. Weak willed at times? Yes. Weak Knee-ed? Who hasn't? But never mentally or emotionally weak. Throw down some heavy shit and I will tackled it for all I'm worth. Of course that has meant a fried brain on occaission but only as an end result of unsuccessful effort NOT for lack of trying. I think that needing rescuing in the vein of say Snow White or Cinderella is frailty. I look at those myths and think that both women are too much for even a strapping young Prince to deal with; a thought that usually ends with "I hope she's good in bed." I know that is bad.... it doesn't say much for the Charming One. But I've watched how some women make their men miserable by being difficult either on purpose or by nature and then wonder why 20 years down the road why he's gone. And happier. I never wanted to be one of those women who drove her guy away.
But then independenc hasn't won me much male companionship either. A balance is needed. And like I said before, it's mostly because it is necessary to be independent. And I really do hate it. But there is another side to this coin that I hadn't talked about. If I am going to be rescued there is a trade off that I don't know it I can committ to. J thinks I'm being silly. I am truly frightened because if I chose to ever make the choice to allow myself to be rescued and let go of this stubborn and foolish pride then there are things I have to committ to, even if it is only in a dating relationship. And with those stakes I have to be absolutely certain of the man and forget the myth and the legends.
I don't like how I am living now. I want a place where I have a non futon bed. I don't want to share my bedroom with my studio anymore. I want to keep a studio and produce like my life depends on it. I want to walk around au naturale again if the fancy strikes. If I allow myself a rescue then my gratitude will show in my cheerful performance of all the domestic skills I have cultivated; cooking, baking, setting a table that says "I think you are special.", keeping a clean house, providing a beautiful backdrop for comfortable living (interior design/decor), handcrafting special greeting cards and messages, being the best parental assisstant I can be, massage, empathy and generally being for one person all that I am at work and better. And this is just the stuff that I KNOW a guy wants, generally. I have to use all my powers of observation and empathy to figure out what he wants that I don't know about.
I have to trust him to not take advantage.
The best news is that I don't think the Knight Knave would abuse the gifts I have to offer. I am worried though that I might be overlooking a subtle clue that he'd dropped. Which makes me wonder... Jeannie or Sammantha Stevens? I can't stand how arrogant and rude Major Nelson is. And Darren's unwarranted self assurance of his authority irks me the way it irks Endorra. The Knight Knave is not Tony or Derwood. I see that everyday. He is just a guy who does the best he is able and tries not to get kicked in the teeth by women who lack the fundamental graces of say a Caroline Ingalls. But I'm not a shrieking harpie like Harriett Oleson either. I often wonder, even when there are no prospects on the horizon, if I really could be happy doing Caroline's job. Do I want to do Caolines job? And what ever happened to "No Pets. No Kids. No Man. No Mess"? What good is a personal mantra if you don't use it?
Sadly folks, I think you might be in for four installments on the subject as 3 hasn't really brought me any answers.
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