May 2nd is the day. It is the 2nd Anniversary of my blog. I doubt I will get Wil Wheaton's attention this year like last year. But that is ok. The mere fact that he tweeted me at all is sustaining.
I hsould do an overview I guess. But to be honest... it kinda snuck up on me. Hmm....
Friday, April 30, 2010
Matthias Reim makes a case for the iPod
By now everyone at work knows that I am on a German music kick that has nothing to do with using Rammstein to communicate severe displeasure with most of the world. In fact the music kick I am on involves hunting for the songs on a tape I was given in high school. Youtube has been a wonderful reference. The problem is that I don't have the case so I am depending on 25 year old memory to tell me what the song is. Remember how hard Name That Tune was? Now try it in a language that you can read but not speak. Yeah... it's been that easy. But like I said, Youtube is helping.
I started with Herbert Groenemeyer because he and Roland Kaiser are predominate in my memory. The refrains are stuck in my head so they are easy to look up. "Tanzen" and "Kinder on Die Macht", namely. With the way that Youtube works finding other artists isn't hard. If a poster likes one artist then likely the other artists won't be too hard to find. Cue Spider Murphy Gang, Nena, Paola, Purple Shultz, Trio (what? They weren't American?) and a pleasant surprise Geier Sturzflug.
That last one was a great surprise. "Besuchen Sie Europa" didn't show up right away so I waded through the start of a lot of songs to find this one. What fun. It's not really the kind of song that you'd polka to. And no one NO ONE wants to see me try to polka. But golly, Wally, it's fun to dance to!!! The poster who listed the video for that song lead me to an new voice I'd not heard before. Enter Matthias Reim.
I don't really know what I can say about the music since I don't, as I said, speak German so much as read it. So transcribing lyrics for future translation is a little tricky. And there is no way that I could manage it right now anyway. The voice has that kind of resonance that induces a trance and warm fuzzies. Which, generally speaking, is probably why I like foreign music anyway. Without knowing what the song's literal meaning is you can pay attention to the tones and the quality of the voice. Smooth as honey with a little bit of a raspy edge, Matthias Reim is all kinds of Wunderbar! And that was before I got a good look at him.... I'm sunk.
This adventure could not make any clearer what my type of person is. German. And not just any kind of German. Richard Dean Anderson kind of German with the low, thick brow; deeper set eyes; firm, angular jawline; wider, bulbous nose; and the mouth... thin lips and a slightly protruding process above the upper lip with deep vertical smile lines that are longer than mere dimples. You know... good strong German features. And he looks so much like someone I know personally that if they were side by side on a street in Dresden at 40 paces I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. OY! and VEY!
I'm sunk. First because I know I can't have what I want and finding a suitable replacement is harder with people than products. And second I'm sunk because I've sworn that I am not going to go digital. Collecting CDs has been expensive enough. But I have to have some Matthias Reim now. And if I get the iPod to listen to him, then I will need Sprunge and most everything that Roland Kaiser did in addition to all the songs from the tape I have. Even at .99 per song that is going to add up. The other upside is that I can plug in the iPod at work and listen to music static free, not worry about people stealing CDs or scratching the heck out of them. Yes, with my musical tastes the former is hardly a real concern.
Damn Matthias, way to make a case for the iPod. @wilw didn't manage to seduce me to the Dark Side of the Digital era with all the iPod stuff. But you... you have to have a voice and a style that oozes all kinds of come hither.
I started with Herbert Groenemeyer because he and Roland Kaiser are predominate in my memory. The refrains are stuck in my head so they are easy to look up. "Tanzen" and "Kinder on Die Macht", namely. With the way that Youtube works finding other artists isn't hard. If a poster likes one artist then likely the other artists won't be too hard to find. Cue Spider Murphy Gang, Nena, Paola, Purple Shultz, Trio (what? They weren't American?) and a pleasant surprise Geier Sturzflug.
That last one was a great surprise. "Besuchen Sie Europa" didn't show up right away so I waded through the start of a lot of songs to find this one. What fun. It's not really the kind of song that you'd polka to. And no one NO ONE wants to see me try to polka. But golly, Wally, it's fun to dance to!!! The poster who listed the video for that song lead me to an new voice I'd not heard before. Enter Matthias Reim.
I don't really know what I can say about the music since I don't, as I said, speak German so much as read it. So transcribing lyrics for future translation is a little tricky. And there is no way that I could manage it right now anyway. The voice has that kind of resonance that induces a trance and warm fuzzies. Which, generally speaking, is probably why I like foreign music anyway. Without knowing what the song's literal meaning is you can pay attention to the tones and the quality of the voice. Smooth as honey with a little bit of a raspy edge, Matthias Reim is all kinds of Wunderbar! And that was before I got a good look at him.... I'm sunk.
This adventure could not make any clearer what my type of person is. German. And not just any kind of German. Richard Dean Anderson kind of German with the low, thick brow; deeper set eyes; firm, angular jawline; wider, bulbous nose; and the mouth... thin lips and a slightly protruding process above the upper lip with deep vertical smile lines that are longer than mere dimples. You know... good strong German features. And he looks so much like someone I know personally that if they were side by side on a street in Dresden at 40 paces I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. OY! and VEY!
I'm sunk. First because I know I can't have what I want and finding a suitable replacement is harder with people than products. And second I'm sunk because I've sworn that I am not going to go digital. Collecting CDs has been expensive enough. But I have to have some Matthias Reim now. And if I get the iPod to listen to him, then I will need Sprunge and most everything that Roland Kaiser did in addition to all the songs from the tape I have. Even at .99 per song that is going to add up. The other upside is that I can plug in the iPod at work and listen to music static free, not worry about people stealing CDs or scratching the heck out of them. Yes, with my musical tastes the former is hardly a real concern.
Damn Matthias, way to make a case for the iPod. @wilw didn't manage to seduce me to the Dark Side of the Digital era with all the iPod stuff. But you... you have to have a voice and a style that oozes all kinds of come hither.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Why so wordy
I know the last few posts have been a bit on the long side. Tis the season. Or rather it's what I do when I am stressed and I don't want to eat 15,000 calories a day. And you my faithful reader friends get to share. Or not. I will never know if you skip over a post to avoid your own Mobius headache.
Well that was kinda weird. Of all the months I've been coming to this coffee shop I never see anyone that I know... let alone from work. And in walks Bobbi Jo. Cool. And now back to the regularly schedule German pop of the 80s.
Peace out
Well that was kinda weird. Of all the months I've been coming to this coffee shop I never see anyone that I know... let alone from work. And in walks Bobbi Jo. Cool. And now back to the regularly schedule German pop of the 80s.
Peace out
On Intelligence
Of course after Riker defends Maddox's claims against Data, we all know what 5 traits characterize a sentient being. But do we really have any idea what intelligence is? It never occurred to me that I don't know how to define or describe it so much as I know it when I see things that are unintelligent. As I am reading Goedel, Escher, Bach (GEB) I see there is a lot in the world around me, in fact in Geekdom, that I take for granted. And things that I ignored as being non essential to my corner of this little realm. For instance, Hofstader outlines some descriptions of intelligence. I am listing them here for you to think about with this preface:
"... to suggest a sharp borderline exists is probably silly. But essential abilities for intelligence are certainly:..." that is between intelligent and non-intelligent.
to respond to situations very flexibly
to take advantage of fortuitous circumstance
to make sense out of ambiguous or contradictory messages
to recognize the relative importance of different elements of a situation
to find similarities between situations despite differences which may separate them
to draw distinctions between situations despite similarities which may link them
to synthesize new concepts by taking old concepts and putting them together in new ways
to come up with ideas which are novel
What the author doesn't do is say how many of these things a person has to have to have true intelligence. But then, that isn't the aim of the book. The book discusses formal systems and informal systems, logic and illogical and the conundrums inherent in the search for AI. It isn't his job to tell us if we are smart or how smart we are. So I look at this and know that he is talking about the differences between animate and inanimate processes. I know that he is talking about how we think and not the what. It isn't a judgement, nor a case for him to be granted the arduous task of judging the readership. That, I take upon myself.
I look at his list of recognisable traits to signify an intelligent process with only the small grain of salt that says "I'm not dead so I'm still learning." and I look at myself.
Do I respond with flexibility? It depends on the circumstance. I'm pretty quick to poo poo any change at work because I like regularity. I'm not so hung up on getting a yes from a guy that I have to obsess over one. Yeah... well that HAS changed, thank you very much. And is a post of another color! I'm not very flexible with my finances though. I do have a rigid learned behavior that is quite difficult to over come. And, honestly, I choose not to overcome it. I choose a kind of selfishness in that respect. And that gets me into trouble. So not intelligent with money. semi intelligent with work. And fairly smart about letting things go rather than wallow in futility... is that a .01 out of 1?
Taking advantage of Fortuna? Well, if she'd ever grace my life with her presence that would be easier to answer. I had a great career that disappeared when I added an unstable element to my life. I did learn from that. +1. I have quit a job because of pride -1. I've been self employed and had great cash flow but didn't invest wisely -1. And I have allowed myself to be talked into something that I didn't want to do by choosing the "easy" out and not sticking to my guns. -1. I'm losing ground faster than I'm gaining it. And fear has kept me from leaping at some art choices that could have yielded something better than the run-of-the-mill job I have -1.
Making sense out of ambiguity? Riiiiight! Yeah, I'm counting HIM. -1. But let's give some credit for figuring out what the obtuse and oblique messages from so-called friends really were +3. And I usually don't get suckered by a scam. So +1 for not getting a sub-prime loan (we will not talk about Goldman Sachs here); -1 for investing in the stock market instead of myself like Suze Orman recommended; +3 for learning not to talk to certain types of people. and +1 for being able to see crazy eyes in a guy or a girl.
Recognizing the importance of elements in a situation. Check. I'm very good at that when it comes to someone elses problems. Mine all seem like a herd of white elephants in the room. And I'm good at it in art. My essays used to be a lot tighter but dry. So in that regard I am walking a fine line. Empathy is like a cheat code when it comes to emotions. But I have a hard time trying to separate emotional need from physical need. Now that I think of it though... why do I think that there is a hierarchy there? Why should the emotional need mean less than the physical? Hmm....
So, onto the next.
I do find similarities in disparate circumstance. Mayan Kings sharing phonetic qualities of Babylonian kings is that latest hair-brained thought. I can see differences in seemingly similar situations. You know like knowing that ACG's girl displays significant behaviors indicating interest than the flimsy excuses I saw in my hoped-for. They behave similarly but with distinct differences which made one of the sets a couple and the other set bitter enemies. Oooh guess which category I fell into. One guess... it's why I no have a Spear and Magic Helmet.
And I can synthesize like nobodies business. The Encyclopedia is like a giant box of puzzle pieces that I get to shape and assemble any way I want to. I have quite an agile mind. What it produces of marketable value I don't know. I don;t even know that it needs to be marketable so much as keep me from being some dupe for every flim flam man that comes along.
Novel ideas. I know he doesn't mean plots for a dime novel spine-tingler. I've got plots and heroes aplenty. Heroines and dialogue galore. You want diabolical motives? I've got 20! But who cares no big deal.... this means something more. * He must mean innovation. And to me, as I see how my friend Michelle innovates, there is an element of intuition or inspiration inherent in the ability to innovate. Of course if necessity is the Mother of Invention and that is what he means then it means that I live a cautious life that affords little opportunity to invent. Wait!!! +1 I can MacGyver crap when I don't have the right tool for the job. But again... nothing I can market.
So, as I ponder these concepts and my crude evaluation I see that I have an average overall intelligence. Nothing special in this brain. Do you see the same thing that I see in my own words? I am looking at only a partial list for one thing. I haven't the space to be eHarmony specific. But the other thing that I notice is that I am looking for a specific kind of intelligence. The whole thing boils down to marketability. Great book smarts but practical smarts are rather mundane. I'm not going to take over Wall Street with this brain. And I don't want to. I just want to keep Wall Street from eating me alive... with relish. I don't think I'm objective. And as self awareness can not be kept out of any discussion of the systems that Hofstader posits, I wonder if it is the self aware part that makes a strange loop strange. I look at me and everything gets skewed by some kind of filter. If I look at me through the art filter I have high intelligence. Money filter? Not so much. If I look at my ability to counsel outside of my self and self interest then I am proficient. when it involves me I am not.
So that act of observing the self changes results? There are a lot of physicists who think so. But can the results change so drastically? And what about learning from past missteps? That doesn't really make Hofstader's list. Actually his list looks at the process and not the result though results are implied. And................. I am starting to get a Mobius headache.
So thoughts? Questions? Insights? How did you fare looking at your own intelligence through the eyes of a mathelogical checklist?
*If you have a Little Mermaid song in your head it isn't my fault. It means that you've watched that movie at least as many times as I have and that your mind is just as agile... and wonky as mine. :)
"... to suggest a sharp borderline exists is probably silly. But essential abilities for intelligence are certainly:..." that is between intelligent and non-intelligent.
to respond to situations very flexibly
to take advantage of fortuitous circumstance
to make sense out of ambiguous or contradictory messages
to recognize the relative importance of different elements of a situation
to find similarities between situations despite differences which may separate them
to draw distinctions between situations despite similarities which may link them
to synthesize new concepts by taking old concepts and putting them together in new ways
to come up with ideas which are novel
What the author doesn't do is say how many of these things a person has to have to have true intelligence. But then, that isn't the aim of the book. The book discusses formal systems and informal systems, logic and illogical and the conundrums inherent in the search for AI. It isn't his job to tell us if we are smart or how smart we are. So I look at this and know that he is talking about the differences between animate and inanimate processes. I know that he is talking about how we think and not the what. It isn't a judgement, nor a case for him to be granted the arduous task of judging the readership. That, I take upon myself.
I look at his list of recognisable traits to signify an intelligent process with only the small grain of salt that says "I'm not dead so I'm still learning." and I look at myself.
Do I respond with flexibility? It depends on the circumstance. I'm pretty quick to poo poo any change at work because I like regularity. I'm not so hung up on getting a yes from a guy that I have to obsess over one. Yeah... well that HAS changed, thank you very much. And is a post of another color! I'm not very flexible with my finances though. I do have a rigid learned behavior that is quite difficult to over come. And, honestly, I choose not to overcome it. I choose a kind of selfishness in that respect. And that gets me into trouble. So not intelligent with money. semi intelligent with work. And fairly smart about letting things go rather than wallow in futility... is that a .01 out of 1?
Taking advantage of Fortuna? Well, if she'd ever grace my life with her presence that would be easier to answer. I had a great career that disappeared when I added an unstable element to my life. I did learn from that. +1. I have quit a job because of pride -1. I've been self employed and had great cash flow but didn't invest wisely -1. And I have allowed myself to be talked into something that I didn't want to do by choosing the "easy" out and not sticking to my guns. -1. I'm losing ground faster than I'm gaining it. And fear has kept me from leaping at some art choices that could have yielded something better than the run-of-the-mill job I have -1.
Making sense out of ambiguity? Riiiiight! Yeah, I'm counting HIM. -1. But let's give some credit for figuring out what the obtuse and oblique messages from so-called friends really were +3. And I usually don't get suckered by a scam. So +1 for not getting a sub-prime loan (we will not talk about Goldman Sachs here); -1 for investing in the stock market instead of myself like Suze Orman recommended; +3 for learning not to talk to certain types of people. and +1 for being able to see crazy eyes in a guy or a girl.
Recognizing the importance of elements in a situation. Check. I'm very good at that when it comes to someone elses problems. Mine all seem like a herd of white elephants in the room. And I'm good at it in art. My essays used to be a lot tighter but dry. So in that regard I am walking a fine line. Empathy is like a cheat code when it comes to emotions. But I have a hard time trying to separate emotional need from physical need. Now that I think of it though... why do I think that there is a hierarchy there? Why should the emotional need mean less than the physical? Hmm....
So, onto the next.
I do find similarities in disparate circumstance. Mayan Kings sharing phonetic qualities of Babylonian kings is that latest hair-brained thought. I can see differences in seemingly similar situations. You know like knowing that ACG's girl displays significant behaviors indicating interest than the flimsy excuses I saw in my hoped-for. They behave similarly but with distinct differences which made one of the sets a couple and the other set bitter enemies. Oooh guess which category I fell into. One guess... it's why I no have a Spear and Magic Helmet.
And I can synthesize like nobodies business. The Encyclopedia is like a giant box of puzzle pieces that I get to shape and assemble any way I want to. I have quite an agile mind. What it produces of marketable value I don't know. I don;t even know that it needs to be marketable so much as keep me from being some dupe for every flim flam man that comes along.
Novel ideas. I know he doesn't mean plots for a dime novel spine-tingler. I've got plots and heroes aplenty. Heroines and dialogue galore. You want diabolical motives? I've got 20! But who cares no big deal.... this means something more. * He must mean innovation. And to me, as I see how my friend Michelle innovates, there is an element of intuition or inspiration inherent in the ability to innovate. Of course if necessity is the Mother of Invention and that is what he means then it means that I live a cautious life that affords little opportunity to invent. Wait!!! +1 I can MacGyver crap when I don't have the right tool for the job. But again... nothing I can market.
So, as I ponder these concepts and my crude evaluation I see that I have an average overall intelligence. Nothing special in this brain. Do you see the same thing that I see in my own words? I am looking at only a partial list for one thing. I haven't the space to be eHarmony specific. But the other thing that I notice is that I am looking for a specific kind of intelligence. The whole thing boils down to marketability. Great book smarts but practical smarts are rather mundane. I'm not going to take over Wall Street with this brain. And I don't want to. I just want to keep Wall Street from eating me alive... with relish. I don't think I'm objective. And as self awareness can not be kept out of any discussion of the systems that Hofstader posits, I wonder if it is the self aware part that makes a strange loop strange. I look at me and everything gets skewed by some kind of filter. If I look at me through the art filter I have high intelligence. Money filter? Not so much. If I look at my ability to counsel outside of my self and self interest then I am proficient. when it involves me I am not.
So that act of observing the self changes results? There are a lot of physicists who think so. But can the results change so drastically? And what about learning from past missteps? That doesn't really make Hofstader's list. Actually his list looks at the process and not the result though results are implied. And................. I am starting to get a Mobius headache.
So thoughts? Questions? Insights? How did you fare looking at your own intelligence through the eyes of a mathelogical checklist?
*If you have a Little Mermaid song in your head it isn't my fault. It means that you've watched that movie at least as many times as I have and that your mind is just as agile... and wonky as mine. :)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Fantasy I
I live in on of the most beautiful places in the United States. My city sits at the base of a small peninsula that juts out into a bay on lake Michigan. Look at the back of your left hand. Let your pinkie fall away from your ring finger just a bit... the pinkie is Leelanau County. The space where the thin skin between pinkie and ring finger is where my city lies. The space between fingers is Grand Traverse Bay. The little peninsula sticks out there. You have some problems we shouldn't talk about here if you have a corresponding growth on your own hand. [smile]
Most days the bay, here I refer to West because I've either been a city girl or a Westie for most of mt life, is some phenomenal shade of blue on most days. Downtown curls itself around the shore of West Bay. And for most of my life the streets have been green with a maple and oak canopy to hide the majority of the buildings. Most of Traverse City looks green or blue with a little white sand and some poofy clouds. But as most things do, that is changing. I am sitting in a coffee shop looking onto downtown from across the bay. I used to be able to just see the courthouse tower, Park Place Hotel and most of the dock at the Maritime Academy. But now I see Radio Centre, some high rise office buildings, a new mix-use building and a couple of things that I can't recognise without my glasses. It is still a pretty city scape from where I am sitting. And in my mind I can see how the character of our Downtown and Warehouse District hasn't lost much of its Old Time Charm. In fact, I just walked the length of Front Street, downtown's main thoroughfare, with a friend. The buildings have been updated with fresh paint, retro facades and in some cases just a good hard scrubbing (read power wash) with lots of trees to offer dappled shade. Most of the shops offer some kind of refreshment... fudge, coffee, chocolate, exotic snacks and entrees or wine/beer. There is almost no neon to be seen. A coffee shop on every corner and a bar in the middle seems to have been the business model. There is just one problem with Traverse City...
For all the coffee shops we have nothing is open for 24 hours.
And that is the fantasy. I wish that we had an economy that would support a 24/7 coffee shop. Fill the walls with local artwork and host gallery shows for un-juried artists... heaven. Mini weekend shows where the coffee flows like a wild white water river and the traffic barely ceases could justify being open during the slow parts of the week. I imagine a little booth in a quiet corner of this gem of a WiFi hot spot where I could write late into the night without ever having to worry about closing time. It would be nice if we could have a little nip of something in our coffee between 10pm and say midnight. I just don't think that the liqueur laws are written that way. But I write fiction best late at night when I've had the chance to banish the day's troubles and the characters have a chance to say something meaningful. I also imagine several fan groups getting together to watch fave TV shows together. Castle on Mondays, Merlin on Fridays and the gods willing someone will bring us Robin Hood... yeah that won't happen.
It would be so nice to have a geek bar in this town. We seem to have an indeterminate saturation point for sports bars in this town. Maybe the geek bar is the answer. But how many people are there like me that Traverse City could support a place like that? I don't know. So I think that this will stay in the realm of fantasy... my fantasy. What a pity. I can see this being a really good idea as the Film Festival gains a larger following each year that it operates. *sigh*
Well, I'll always have the fantasy.
Most days the bay, here I refer to West because I've either been a city girl or a Westie for most of mt life, is some phenomenal shade of blue on most days. Downtown curls itself around the shore of West Bay. And for most of my life the streets have been green with a maple and oak canopy to hide the majority of the buildings. Most of Traverse City looks green or blue with a little white sand and some poofy clouds. But as most things do, that is changing. I am sitting in a coffee shop looking onto downtown from across the bay. I used to be able to just see the courthouse tower, Park Place Hotel and most of the dock at the Maritime Academy. But now I see Radio Centre, some high rise office buildings, a new mix-use building and a couple of things that I can't recognise without my glasses. It is still a pretty city scape from where I am sitting. And in my mind I can see how the character of our Downtown and Warehouse District hasn't lost much of its Old Time Charm. In fact, I just walked the length of Front Street, downtown's main thoroughfare, with a friend. The buildings have been updated with fresh paint, retro facades and in some cases just a good hard scrubbing (read power wash) with lots of trees to offer dappled shade. Most of the shops offer some kind of refreshment... fudge, coffee, chocolate, exotic snacks and entrees or wine/beer. There is almost no neon to be seen. A coffee shop on every corner and a bar in the middle seems to have been the business model. There is just one problem with Traverse City...
For all the coffee shops we have nothing is open for 24 hours.
And that is the fantasy. I wish that we had an economy that would support a 24/7 coffee shop. Fill the walls with local artwork and host gallery shows for un-juried artists... heaven. Mini weekend shows where the coffee flows like a wild white water river and the traffic barely ceases could justify being open during the slow parts of the week. I imagine a little booth in a quiet corner of this gem of a WiFi hot spot where I could write late into the night without ever having to worry about closing time. It would be nice if we could have a little nip of something in our coffee between 10pm and say midnight. I just don't think that the liqueur laws are written that way. But I write fiction best late at night when I've had the chance to banish the day's troubles and the characters have a chance to say something meaningful. I also imagine several fan groups getting together to watch fave TV shows together. Castle on Mondays, Merlin on Fridays and the gods willing someone will bring us Robin Hood... yeah that won't happen.
It would be so nice to have a geek bar in this town. We seem to have an indeterminate saturation point for sports bars in this town. Maybe the geek bar is the answer. But how many people are there like me that Traverse City could support a place like that? I don't know. So I think that this will stay in the realm of fantasy... my fantasy. What a pity. I can see this being a really good idea as the Film Festival gains a larger following each year that it operates. *sigh*
Well, I'll always have the fantasy.
Here's a funny thing that happens whenever I say I am not going to do something that is an automatic or programmed response: I do exactly what I said I wasn't going to do. Today I am chanting "I Will not freak out. I will not freak out. I will not freak out."
Why would I freak out? I had a plan that banked on me refund slipping through the cracks and landing in my bank account. Fix my car. Get minutes for my phone. Pay back some small but pernicious debts. Pay for rent in a new place and have about 300.00 cushion for the inevitablly diabolical hitch in the giddy-up. Part of my plan included being able to get into a training program for something that I already do but don't make any money doing. And now?
Well duh! I'm freaking out. I freak out and then I breathe and I breathe for as long as it takes to get calm. I keep telling myself that there is a way out of everything, that there are always options. That's easy for Captain Picard to say, he has a bridge full of seasoned officers and a smart ass Wunderkind for when he runs out of ideas. Me? I've got me. Sure... I'm cute, witty, a bit smart and a lot smart-assy. But where will that get me?
To Freakville. I listed all of my marketable skills and realized that I don't really know how to market them. Why? Because self marketting is not a skill I have acquired. I've always thought of it as tooting my own horn, Self-aggrandizement R Us and that of all the things that I have done that I am not happy to count against me I don't want to add the sin of pride. Yet I will never get anywhere if I don't market. and thus we've arrived at Freakville.
Truth be told that was probably the biggest reason that I didn't finish college. The only part that I couldn't hack was the presentation and I was always presenting me. My work. My idea. My research. See a novel writer writes, someone else says why you should read the book and then the writer can bask in the glory. Over simplified I know. But when you do the work and have to present it you are saying My idea is that best and this is why you are going to use it. A novel writer finds following by the reader's choice. A marketting exec finds a following by hook, crook or an old fashioned horse whipping. I can't do that. I grew up believing that seeking fame is wrong. That announcing your skills is wrong. And that pride is the trap to end all traps.
I hate resumes for the same reason. But if I keep freaking out I can;t think straight. So I breathe, then I rationalize and point out that no one thinks my friend Michelle is arrogant. Click on the link to her work next door. She lives and breathes what she does and people are attracted to the work's ENERGY, her energy not her ego. Same with Sting, Castle, and anyone else that I am into. I'm just not objective about my work. I can't tell you why you should want my stuff because it seems like pride. It seems like an ego trap. Yes, I meant trap. But I have to do something. There has to be more to my work than folding laundry and cleaning up after people. There has to be more than this one thing.
But the only thing that I do consistantly is blog. And there is a way to make money blogging. Will it get me out of debt? No. But it will relieve the guilt I feel taking the time to journal these thoughts for general consumption. So how do I do that? How do I market this skill?
I have no idea. I said I never wanted to put AdSense on my blog. But the way things are... I may have to. I may also have to cannibalise my own work to add to another site. Hrmmmm.... that is wrong on so many levels.
Oh crap.
Freak out again.
Why would I freak out? I had a plan that banked on me refund slipping through the cracks and landing in my bank account. Fix my car. Get minutes for my phone. Pay back some small but pernicious debts. Pay for rent in a new place and have about 300.00 cushion for the inevitablly diabolical hitch in the giddy-up. Part of my plan included being able to get into a training program for something that I already do but don't make any money doing. And now?
Well duh! I'm freaking out. I freak out and then I breathe and I breathe for as long as it takes to get calm. I keep telling myself that there is a way out of everything, that there are always options. That's easy for Captain Picard to say, he has a bridge full of seasoned officers and a smart ass Wunderkind for when he runs out of ideas. Me? I've got me. Sure... I'm cute, witty, a bit smart and a lot smart-assy. But where will that get me?
To Freakville. I listed all of my marketable skills and realized that I don't really know how to market them. Why? Because self marketting is not a skill I have acquired. I've always thought of it as tooting my own horn, Self-aggrandizement R Us and that of all the things that I have done that I am not happy to count against me I don't want to add the sin of pride. Yet I will never get anywhere if I don't market. and thus we've arrived at Freakville.
Truth be told that was probably the biggest reason that I didn't finish college. The only part that I couldn't hack was the presentation and I was always presenting me. My work. My idea. My research. See a novel writer writes, someone else says why you should read the book and then the writer can bask in the glory. Over simplified I know. But when you do the work and have to present it you are saying My idea is that best and this is why you are going to use it. A novel writer finds following by the reader's choice. A marketting exec finds a following by hook, crook or an old fashioned horse whipping. I can't do that. I grew up believing that seeking fame is wrong. That announcing your skills is wrong. And that pride is the trap to end all traps.
I hate resumes for the same reason. But if I keep freaking out I can;t think straight. So I breathe, then I rationalize and point out that no one thinks my friend Michelle is arrogant. Click on the link to her work next door. She lives and breathes what she does and people are attracted to the work's ENERGY, her energy not her ego. Same with Sting, Castle, and anyone else that I am into. I'm just not objective about my work. I can't tell you why you should want my stuff because it seems like pride. It seems like an ego trap. Yes, I meant trap. But I have to do something. There has to be more to my work than folding laundry and cleaning up after people. There has to be more than this one thing.
But the only thing that I do consistantly is blog. And there is a way to make money blogging. Will it get me out of debt? No. But it will relieve the guilt I feel taking the time to journal these thoughts for general consumption. So how do I do that? How do I market this skill?
I have no idea. I said I never wanted to put AdSense on my blog. But the way things are... I may have to. I may also have to cannibalise my own work to add to another site. Hrmmmm.... that is wrong on so many levels.
Oh crap.
Freak out again.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Sheldon Cooper Reporting for Duty
I bought a book for entertainment 4 months ago. It was the first of its kind that I'd bought in a year. I know, it hardly seems geeky. Economic times being what they are and necessity being the mother of all tightened belts it is what it is. Its been two years since I've bought a book to expand my mind. Again, out of necessity. But a footnote here: when I had the money I bought and read 4-8 books a week, taking a break every 6 or 8 weeks to let the brain swelling go down ;) So when I was in Borders and couldn't find the music I was looking for, I bought a book for the most irrational reason ever: I liked the cover and the author's last name.
The book is Goedel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid or GEB for short. I'm not sure but I think that I read some of this when I was in high school. Much of it went over my head then. And much of it does now. But I like the puzzle that is the front of the book, the font types chosen and the author's last name..... Hofstadter. Hello, roomie.
The author tags it as "a metaphorical fugue on minds and machines in the spirit of Lewis Carroll."
I LOVE LEWIS CARROLL!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes he gives me a headache with all the talk that turns round on itself. But he has given me some great out of context one-liners that I use to keep the Higher Ups off balance. I'm evil like that. But if it helps me to understand things better than I do its worth a few headaches.
For instance, while I love music and I base my enjoyment of the art on how the voice and the notes make me feel, I know nothing of its technical construction. This is a point of contention for me now as it seems that understanding how music goes together is one of the things that will help us understand how information is processed. It is over simplistic to say the very least. But in essence this tome is the first step in understanding how our brains process information and what information it choses to process which in turn will help us understand the limitations of a computer program. It would seem a Soongian neural net is not impossible just, as yet, unreachable. The author, so far as I have read, seems to feel that math, music and art hold the keys to understanding the biology of nueral transmission because, as is especially true in music and art, of a factor of unpredictability related to self-reference. He also says that mathematical logic is not as straight forward as we all want to believe... Mobius strips with ranch anyone?
You have a headache? Sheesh! I'm the one reading the blasted thing. Bought a 12 color set of highlighters too. Why? Well aside from hitting the key points of his thesis in yellow so that I can easily find the things that have punched my ticket for a particular train of thought; it would seem that there are Quoteables (in violet), Points of Interest tangential to the thesis (in salmon), things that will require Pondering (red), specifics in the field of Physics (lime), Art things I didn't know (purple), Music facts (blue) and Characters historic and otherwise I'd never heard of (turquioise) that will require a seperate exploration.
My first thought is that this is going to be the sum of a 4 year Masters degree crammed into 742 pages of text, an 11 page Bibliography and 18 pages of Index besides the daunting outline in the beginning of the book. Yikes! But here's the thing. I don't HAVE to read this. I want to read this. One of the first things that I read is a quote from a poet named Russell Edson that calls us "teetering bulbs of dread and dream". Rythmically it is similar to the STNG "ugly bags of mostly water" description from a sentient crystaline life form found in a mining colony. And it is just as evocative. But it is the most accurate description of the human emotional condition. So I am hooked. This promises to be less dry than 4 years of lectures or 5 minutes with Sheldon on why his seat is his seat. And, as I am further along now, he seems to be saying what I have been thinking all along: nothing is going to be as rigid and regimented as we want it to be. Taming Chaos is an illusion.
Oops... Type A people around the world just had minor strokes. Sorry.
The book is Goedel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid or GEB for short. I'm not sure but I think that I read some of this when I was in high school. Much of it went over my head then. And much of it does now. But I like the puzzle that is the front of the book, the font types chosen and the author's last name..... Hofstadter. Hello, roomie.
The author tags it as "a metaphorical fugue on minds and machines in the spirit of Lewis Carroll."
I LOVE LEWIS CARROLL!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes he gives me a headache with all the talk that turns round on itself. But he has given me some great out of context one-liners that I use to keep the Higher Ups off balance. I'm evil like that. But if it helps me to understand things better than I do its worth a few headaches.
For instance, while I love music and I base my enjoyment of the art on how the voice and the notes make me feel, I know nothing of its technical construction. This is a point of contention for me now as it seems that understanding how music goes together is one of the things that will help us understand how information is processed. It is over simplistic to say the very least. But in essence this tome is the first step in understanding how our brains process information and what information it choses to process which in turn will help us understand the limitations of a computer program. It would seem a Soongian neural net is not impossible just, as yet, unreachable. The author, so far as I have read, seems to feel that math, music and art hold the keys to understanding the biology of nueral transmission because, as is especially true in music and art, of a factor of unpredictability related to self-reference. He also says that mathematical logic is not as straight forward as we all want to believe... Mobius strips with ranch anyone?
You have a headache? Sheesh! I'm the one reading the blasted thing. Bought a 12 color set of highlighters too. Why? Well aside from hitting the key points of his thesis in yellow so that I can easily find the things that have punched my ticket for a particular train of thought; it would seem that there are Quoteables (in violet), Points of Interest tangential to the thesis (in salmon), things that will require Pondering (red), specifics in the field of Physics (lime), Art things I didn't know (purple), Music facts (blue) and Characters historic and otherwise I'd never heard of (turquioise) that will require a seperate exploration.
My first thought is that this is going to be the sum of a 4 year Masters degree crammed into 742 pages of text, an 11 page Bibliography and 18 pages of Index besides the daunting outline in the beginning of the book. Yikes! But here's the thing. I don't HAVE to read this. I want to read this. One of the first things that I read is a quote from a poet named Russell Edson that calls us "teetering bulbs of dread and dream". Rythmically it is similar to the STNG "ugly bags of mostly water" description from a sentient crystaline life form found in a mining colony. And it is just as evocative. But it is the most accurate description of the human emotional condition. So I am hooked. This promises to be less dry than 4 years of lectures or 5 minutes with Sheldon on why his seat is his seat. And, as I am further along now, he seems to be saying what I have been thinking all along: nothing is going to be as rigid and regimented as we want it to be. Taming Chaos is an illusion.
Oops... Type A people around the world just had minor strokes. Sorry.
Another welcome & some encouragement
Say Hi to A Literary Treat.
True, while not a registered follower, Lit Treat did leave a comment and I still welcome him/her to the fold. Lit Treat is a new blogger with talent. I hope this blog continues in as many incarnations as is required to keep up with his/her author's evolution.
For a long time this little plot of geekdom, barely considered a legal parcel size among the kingdom's surveyors and tax assessors (Gods let's hope we don't get taxed on the time we blog!!!!!), was just me and Shayne keepin up with keepin up with each other and jotting down the odd thought. But in the last few months I've noticed that the readership is increasing and attracting exactly the kind of people I was looking for... namely other writers.
Most of those writers are new to blogging. As mentioned with our first official follower, it takes time to build readership. None of us are Wil Wheaton and it is unlikely that we will amass the reading fellowship of his community. We will, however, as the saying goes, attract like minded people to our respective cogs in this great machine. May will be my second year blogging. The readership is yet small. But that was never my goal.
My goal was to force myself to write, to get used to the idea of refining my thoughts in print for publication and make a few connections if possible. It was never my goal to compete with Wil but to experience some of the things that his blog demonstrates: positive evolution of writing style, exploration of geeky things that I didn't know existed and make a few friends. If that is the best that I can hope for that is good enough. Though I do know there is more.
The more is the reason that I will keep writing. It is the reason that I want all of you to keep writing. Your refined materials will teach someone something that has eluded them, encourage where no other words or feelings have helped and bring something positive into the world when these chaotic times threaten to topple our meager existences. Over time your readership will build. It may never make you rich in monetary gains as directly as blog post=money.But it will make you rich in ways that you cannot yet imagine. *cue ObiWan theme*
True, while not a registered follower, Lit Treat did leave a comment and I still welcome him/her to the fold. Lit Treat is a new blogger with talent. I hope this blog continues in as many incarnations as is required to keep up with his/her author's evolution.
For a long time this little plot of geekdom, barely considered a legal parcel size among the kingdom's surveyors and tax assessors (Gods let's hope we don't get taxed on the time we blog!!!!!), was just me and Shayne keepin up with keepin up with each other and jotting down the odd thought. But in the last few months I've noticed that the readership is increasing and attracting exactly the kind of people I was looking for... namely other writers.
Most of those writers are new to blogging. As mentioned with our first official follower, it takes time to build readership. None of us are Wil Wheaton and it is unlikely that we will amass the reading fellowship of his community. We will, however, as the saying goes, attract like minded people to our respective cogs in this great machine. May will be my second year blogging. The readership is yet small. But that was never my goal.
My goal was to force myself to write, to get used to the idea of refining my thoughts in print for publication and make a few connections if possible. It was never my goal to compete with Wil but to experience some of the things that his blog demonstrates: positive evolution of writing style, exploration of geeky things that I didn't know existed and make a few friends. If that is the best that I can hope for that is good enough. Though I do know there is more.
The more is the reason that I will keep writing. It is the reason that I want all of you to keep writing. Your refined materials will teach someone something that has eluded them, encourage where no other words or feelings have helped and bring something positive into the world when these chaotic times threaten to topple our meager existences. Over time your readership will build. It may never make you rich in monetary gains as directly as blog post=money.But it will make you rich in ways that you cannot yet imagine. *cue ObiWan theme*
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