Wow, honestly didn't think that was going to work at all. Of course it didn't work the way that I wanted it to. I wanted it to be part of the same post. So will work on that for the next show and tell episode.
No. This won't be all Matze all the time. Like I said, I have a lot of stuff to do and not a lot of energy to do it in. But I did decide on the kind of writing that I want to do. And I bought a small single serve blender today to do it. What? Of course I needed a blender to write, do you think I'm nuts?
You should maybe not answer that one right away. Just wait until I get the article written. And maybe while you're waiting you can try to guess what it will be about.
HA! I guess you download the video clip first and then write about it. requires planning and forethought. huh. Who'd'a thunk it?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Ich denk an dich
Disclaimer. I do not have permission to use Matti's work here. And I am not trying to make fast money by riding his coattails. What I am trying to do is generate more fans. So I think I can be forgiven for a few quotes. I wish there were a better way to give you a sample of his music than Youtube videos. But alas... that is all there is. Try not to be distracted by the videos. Listen to the music.
One of my favorite songs from Matthias Reim is "Ich denk an dich", I think of you. it's one of those songs that calm the heart. In part the song's tempo is responsible for soothing the erves. But mostly it is Matti's voice. There is a sincerity, as I have said before, in the emotions he delivers in his performance. You can almost figure out what the song is about even if you don't speak any German.
My favorite verse is the last: Dass Erinnerrung suechtig macht,
hatte ich nicht in Traum gedacht
ich denk an dich
ich denk an dich
The loose translation is this Memory (of you) makes addiction
Had I not thought in a dream?
I think of you
I think of you
So far, Matti has been the only one to tell me that those compulsive thoughts that I have when I am in a relationship are normal. I don't know if they are healthy. Is it ever healthy when someone invades even your dreamlands? But that is what happens when you are in a relationship. When it is with a good person those dreams are pleasant. When it is the wrong person or someone who is toxic then your dreamscape seems to have a Wes Craven feel to it. Either way, they are in your thoughts and the fabric of your imagination.
One of my favorite songs from Matthias Reim is "Ich denk an dich", I think of you. it's one of those songs that calm the heart. In part the song's tempo is responsible for soothing the erves. But mostly it is Matti's voice. There is a sincerity, as I have said before, in the emotions he delivers in his performance. You can almost figure out what the song is about even if you don't speak any German.
My favorite verse is the last: Dass Erinnerrung suechtig macht,
hatte ich nicht in Traum gedacht
ich denk an dich
ich denk an dich
The loose translation is this Memory (of you) makes addiction
Had I not thought in a dream?
I think of you
I think of you
So far, Matti has been the only one to tell me that those compulsive thoughts that I have when I am in a relationship are normal. I don't know if they are healthy. Is it ever healthy when someone invades even your dreamlands? But that is what happens when you are in a relationship. When it is with a good person those dreams are pleasant. When it is the wrong person or someone who is toxic then your dreamscape seems to have a Wes Craven feel to it. Either way, they are in your thoughts and the fabric of your imagination.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Simplicity
The simple things are the easiest to forget. How many nostalgia posts did I write describing the Euphoria of being in the sun, under the clouds, on a blanket, with a book? music? small art project? notebook and pen? Hmm... not sure I want you to answer that. I've been paranoid about spending money because I am convinced that, some how, I've magically (or not) lost all concept of fiscal responsibility. The direct result of that is that I have done nothing all Summer. So I ask you (as a proxy to asking myself):
1. Why aren't you out reading books on a beach? under a shady tree in the park?
There is a veritable library of reading material in the storage unit. I've not reread Anne of Green Gables as is my tradition. Nor have I touched Dragons of Summer Flame, the Narnia Chronicles or (new tradition) Heat Wave. Why? It doesn't cost anything. It is a simple pleasure that I have always enjoyed so why am I denying myself?
2. Why aren't you writing blog posts on a beach? under a shady tree in a park?
There is a lot of stuff in my head. Some of it crap and some of it is really good. But how do you weed out the crap from the kernel if you aren't writing somewhere that you can leave the phone and the rest of the world behind? Long hand writing lets you get the emotional stuff out of the way. The computer is not immediately expressive. By that I mean if you are pissed and want to write in big letters then you do so as the feeling strikes. With the 'puter you have to highlight then find the button to do the thing that you want to do and then hope that you told it to do the thing that you want to do instead of turning cartwheels in Red Square while wearing lederhosen. And if your computer hasn't done that to you then count yourself blessed. Mine is a sadistic bastard. All the more reason to flesh thoughts out on paper before committing them to the elephantine Internet. Plus you wouldn't be subjected to the ramblings of a confused and tired woman who keeps punishing herself without thought to the collateral damage she inflicts. That was an oblique apology for the last few posts. Gibbs smack me if you believe apologies are a sign of weakness and let's move on.
It doesn't cost anything to sit somewhere with pen and paper... except that I am rather indulgent about my writing materials. Puh-lease! I'd love a Waterman cartridge pen with a funky self indulgent personal barrel design but that ain't happening til I win the lottery. Its a therapeutic thing that you can do to get rid of the crap others try to saddle you with. For creative types it gets the stories out so that they can leave room in the brain pan for other things to chow up and beg to be manifested... like the stuff I want to write for money.
So why am I not doing that? Am I mad that I can't be at dad's? Am I so hung up on one location that I can't go out and find those sweet spots that pepper Northern Michigan? Probably. D'oh!
3. Why aren't you listening to music on the beach/ under a shady tree in the park?
I have 7 CDs worth of German music to learn that will hopefully help me keep the vocabulary in my head so that I can go to Germany sometime in the not to distant future. So why have I not put batteries in the portable CD player and gone to listen and learn on the beach? under a shady tree in the park? It is one of the things that makes me happy. Matti's music makes me happy. I've spent the last year trying to figure out how to be more of a social animal to the neglect of what makes me who I am. I am a geek. I spend Summers reading, listening, writing and charging that internal (sometimes infernal) battery so that I can spend the Winter creating things that will hopefully make other people happy.
4. I could be spending free time in the library doing more family research for free. I love the library for lots of reasons. One of which is that I am surrounded by books and the energy of learning. There isn't a lot of room for socializing in the library. And it is free.
Why am I not doing those things while I have the weather to enjoy it? I don't know. Like I said. I may have myself convinced that I don't deserve to have time to enjoy my life because it is such a mess right now. Or maybe I've stupidly let others convince me that punishment and self sacrifice is the way to show God that I am sorry enough to be blessed with a solution of miraculous proportions. I seem to be surrounded by people who want me to believe that all there should be in my life is sweat because I don't have a degree to give me the freedom to sit at work and play with my farm or mafia all day. Those same people also think that all there should be in my life is sweat because the things that I want to get paid to do look easy and fun. Art and writing is not easy. And there are a lot of times that it isn't fun. It's nice to not sweat. But it can be so frustrating that you want to be anything but an artist or writer.
Why am I listening to those kinds of dream killers?
I have a library at my disposal and one of the most beautiful places on earth to enjoy. And I have a boyfriend to take some of the sting of loneliness away from those solitary pursuits. So from here on out... the simple things. Reading. Writing. Music.
And what simple, cheap things are you going to do to refuel yourself?
1. Why aren't you out reading books on a beach? under a shady tree in the park?
There is a veritable library of reading material in the storage unit. I've not reread Anne of Green Gables as is my tradition. Nor have I touched Dragons of Summer Flame, the Narnia Chronicles or (new tradition) Heat Wave. Why? It doesn't cost anything. It is a simple pleasure that I have always enjoyed so why am I denying myself?
2. Why aren't you writing blog posts on a beach? under a shady tree in a park?
There is a lot of stuff in my head. Some of it crap and some of it is really good. But how do you weed out the crap from the kernel if you aren't writing somewhere that you can leave the phone and the rest of the world behind? Long hand writing lets you get the emotional stuff out of the way. The computer is not immediately expressive. By that I mean if you are pissed and want to write in big letters then you do so as the feeling strikes. With the 'puter you have to highlight then find the button to do the thing that you want to do and then hope that you told it to do the thing that you want to do instead of turning cartwheels in Red Square while wearing lederhosen. And if your computer hasn't done that to you then count yourself blessed. Mine is a sadistic bastard. All the more reason to flesh thoughts out on paper before committing them to the elephantine Internet. Plus you wouldn't be subjected to the ramblings of a confused and tired woman who keeps punishing herself without thought to the collateral damage she inflicts. That was an oblique apology for the last few posts. Gibbs smack me if you believe apologies are a sign of weakness and let's move on.
It doesn't cost anything to sit somewhere with pen and paper... except that I am rather indulgent about my writing materials. Puh-lease! I'd love a Waterman cartridge pen with a funky self indulgent personal barrel design but that ain't happening til I win the lottery. Its a therapeutic thing that you can do to get rid of the crap others try to saddle you with. For creative types it gets the stories out so that they can leave room in the brain pan for other things to chow up and beg to be manifested... like the stuff I want to write for money.
So why am I not doing that? Am I mad that I can't be at dad's? Am I so hung up on one location that I can't go out and find those sweet spots that pepper Northern Michigan? Probably. D'oh!
3. Why aren't you listening to music on the beach/ under a shady tree in the park?
I have 7 CDs worth of German music to learn that will hopefully help me keep the vocabulary in my head so that I can go to Germany sometime in the not to distant future. So why have I not put batteries in the portable CD player and gone to listen and learn on the beach? under a shady tree in the park? It is one of the things that makes me happy. Matti's music makes me happy. I've spent the last year trying to figure out how to be more of a social animal to the neglect of what makes me who I am. I am a geek. I spend Summers reading, listening, writing and charging that internal (sometimes infernal) battery so that I can spend the Winter creating things that will hopefully make other people happy.
4. I could be spending free time in the library doing more family research for free. I love the library for lots of reasons. One of which is that I am surrounded by books and the energy of learning. There isn't a lot of room for socializing in the library. And it is free.
Why am I not doing those things while I have the weather to enjoy it? I don't know. Like I said. I may have myself convinced that I don't deserve to have time to enjoy my life because it is such a mess right now. Or maybe I've stupidly let others convince me that punishment and self sacrifice is the way to show God that I am sorry enough to be blessed with a solution of miraculous proportions. I seem to be surrounded by people who want me to believe that all there should be in my life is sweat because I don't have a degree to give me the freedom to sit at work and play with my farm or mafia all day. Those same people also think that all there should be in my life is sweat because the things that I want to get paid to do look easy and fun. Art and writing is not easy. And there are a lot of times that it isn't fun. It's nice to not sweat. But it can be so frustrating that you want to be anything but an artist or writer.
Why am I listening to those kinds of dream killers?
I have a library at my disposal and one of the most beautiful places on earth to enjoy. And I have a boyfriend to take some of the sting of loneliness away from those solitary pursuits. So from here on out... the simple things. Reading. Writing. Music.
And what simple, cheap things are you going to do to refuel yourself?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
adaptations
It would seem that there is always more to things than meets the eye. I've been worried for a week over some blood tests. They came back normal. So both the doc and I are scratching our heads. He wants to see me tomorrow. Sadly I have no improvements to report in the health department.
However the writing department is showing great promise. So many people have told me that I should write for a living. My reason for not doing so is that the print industry is slowly dying. The dinosaurs of the magazine world are showing their age and disappearing quietly into that good night while newspapers are struggling to stay alive. I looked at a Detroit Free Press the other day. The front page has an ad sponsor section down the spine. The main news is only 2/3rds of the page. It is sad to see this happening. But I knew it was coming when the delivery end started to tank. And like they say, if you don't adapt you're doomed.
So I am adapting. I will be working on some articles for a websource. So posts are going to be pretty uneven for a while. I don't know what kind of money is in fiction these days. So I am going to write for the money where I know the money is. It's going to take forever for me to make a living doing this. But at least I have myself on the right track.
However the writing department is showing great promise. So many people have told me that I should write for a living. My reason for not doing so is that the print industry is slowly dying. The dinosaurs of the magazine world are showing their age and disappearing quietly into that good night while newspapers are struggling to stay alive. I looked at a Detroit Free Press the other day. The front page has an ad sponsor section down the spine. The main news is only 2/3rds of the page. It is sad to see this happening. But I knew it was coming when the delivery end started to tank. And like they say, if you don't adapt you're doomed.
So I am adapting. I will be working on some articles for a websource. So posts are going to be pretty uneven for a while. I don't know what kind of money is in fiction these days. So I am going to write for the money where I know the money is. It's going to take forever for me to make a living doing this. But at least I have myself on the right track.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Life gets in the way of a lot of things. My downstate trip being one of those things. So instead of being with a very sweet friend I stayed home. Well I didn't really stay home. I drove down to Beulah to go to the bead shop. I found some great deals and some unusual things to add to the stash. Then I hung out with Matthias Reim in the player. When I got home I made this necklace.
Monday was supposed to be boat day. Since I commemorate these events with a new piece of something artsy, I chose to find more denim coral and play in the lake blue pallette for a while. Boat Monday got preempted by a serious personal issue for sweetie. The locket with the pale blue facetted stone was part of a broach of Gramma Olive's. I already used the fleur d'lis in another piece and was tryingto find beads with the same blue and vibrancy. When I was in Beulah, I found the coral again. There are also some dark blue dyed beads made from cococut, some pale grey pearls and faceted glass & czech fire polish beads. I used some of Jill MacKay's metal links, some bars that I scavenged from another strand and a couple of links from a new Blue Moon collection. The beaded part is the same length as the chain links which is the same length as the single metal link strand attached to the clasps.
I call this Honor for two reasons. Sweetie may lose someone very special to him this week. The locket itself says you want to keep someone close who meant something to you. So for him, to know that these life events mean something. For me: I don't know that this event will let us keep our relationship so I am honoring us in this as well. It doesn't just acknowledge that we had a scheduling upset but that for what it was and while it was we were special.
Death has a way of upsetting the apple cart. I know that better than anyone else.
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