Papa Gene Blues

Happy Birthday Gene Roddenberry!
I wish you were still here. I am sad to think that your vision may have died with you.

There is so much that the world has now that can be directly and indirectly attributed to his vision of a future that almost all of us wants. All of us except the people who are trying to bankrupt the entire planet and not just America, that is. And who knows. Maybe the only way to get to his future is through some kind of socio-economic calamity that no one could possibly foresee. His world needed a third world war and genetic holocaust to teach us how valuable we each are and thus give way to that nifty Next Gen world that I want to live in. So maybe the economic KABOOM! is better. Hey... at least I am thinking positively for once.

It isn't the nifty gadgets aboard ship or the fact that food replicators allow coffee to be served on any deck any given time of day. And it isn't even the fact that it only takes a few hours at Warp speed to get any where of interest outside of the Van Allen Belt. It is the concept that we have zero borders on Earth. Terra Firma belongs to all of us and whatever interests we have are easily shared. It is the idea that we care about preserving every one's traditions in the private sector. Paris will always be Paris. Which means EMI can suck it and in Roddenberry's world I can have whatever music I want when ever I want it. I think that a bunch of copyright attorney's just had mini strokes. :D But I digress....

In Roddenberry's future we get to go out and see what is there is an instead of colonizing without thought to others and under the assumption that the Terran Way is the only way. Other  cultures are preserved. They are added to our own. We expand ourselves and we all grow together.

Facile? Impossible? Naive? Maybe. But it is something that we can strive for and one man gave us a blueprint of our species better than we have been. Even today we assume there is only one way to do a thing... the American Way. Or the capitalist way. And that makes everyone else with ideas a little pissy. We don't quite have the vision anymore. In the 60s we were united on the thought that there was something to reach for beyond the atmosphere. Today we have a fractured vision. And I won't even waste our time degrading idiot political biases that doomed our space program. I'll just say we need to renew our vision. To remember the future that we have yet to achieve and go for it.

And there is no better day to think on such things than Papa Gene's birthday.

Solution to Yesterday's puzzler

So it turns out, as a co-worker told me later in the day, I just do not know how to take a complement.

While in MAAAAAANNNNNNYYYYY!!!!! instances that is true since I shrink from attention like someone leveled a phaser at me. But really? I guess its flattering. But it is still creepy. And I loathe the next full moon.

Co-worker in question has sound judgement most days of the week. And co-worker would not steer me wrong for anything. So I guess its also just going to be one of those things that falls under the heading of "Standing on the Corner Watchin' All the Girls Go By." It was not creepy back in the day. In this age of freedom following the Gloria Steinem revolution of 40 years ago Dean Martin really could get arrested for what he was thinking.

And the dumpy little kid that couldn't get noticed if she set herself on fire wants to know what the big deal is. I mean really. Is it such a crime to let a girl know you're kinda into her?

Ladies, take your complements when you can get them and be grateful that you can turn a head or too. I'm glad to know that I've got my groove back cause I was seriously wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
Gentlemen... I guess the lesson in this bit of FM weirdness is this: If you're appreciative of a woman's presence don't be so creepy about it. Find a polite way to let her know or keep it to yourself. ESPECIALLY give nrecent events in New York City with former leaders of the IMF.

BTW: does the fact that IMF also stands for Impossible Missions Force throw anyone else when they bring it up? Maybe it's just me. But still... guys.... DON'T BE A CREEP!

There is a weird thing that happens to me. I tend to think that it is a geek thing and not a plain old people thing. And then I think well maybe its just an Aquarius thing. And I don't really know if it is a regular people thing or just a typical Sherry thing. * It's just this thing that happens with me that I think does happen with other people. And it begins with my self image. We won't confuse that with self esteem because that is different. Self image is the way that you see yourself, it is how realistic you are about your appearance. I think most days I am balanced in my estimation of myself.

I'm 5 feet 8inches, nearly 6 feet in the right heels. I have calico colored hair, as I have said before. Every color except black blends itself in creative ways on my head with the beginnings of a Rogue** white stripe in my bangs.  My face is very Germanic, I have a permanent blush because of rosacae, a long oval face with a Jewish nose and heavy Jewish eyelids. My eyes change from blue to green and somewhere in between depending on what color my clothes are. I'm rather round everywhere since I am a bit overweight... 40 pounds give or take, depending on what medical guidelines you go with. I'm rather kinda plain I think. I know I have really nice legs, when I am thinner and running my ass off with work they get all Barbie like. And some days, when I'm not bloated I can be said to have a pretty face. I'm no super model. I especially do not look like a supermodel in my work uniform. So when I get attention from men it always puzzles me.

I describe myself here with adjectives that are nouns. I am an artist, a jewelery designer, a foodie, a writer, I am an empath. I'm just me. But I have been getting a lot of attention from men recently. In most cases it is very flattering. I do find it odd that I find men who are not my boyfriend staring at me more than I find my boyfriend staring at me. But I might not be looking at him at the right time. So no crying foul on him...

It's the rare cases where I do not feel the slightest bit flattered that I am thinking about today. See the other thing about me is that I'm a smart ass with people I am comfortable with... especially our maintenance man and general manager, and executive housekeeper. I'm uber comfortable with being a smart ass around my brother and a couple of choice friends. But for the most part I am not the "perky cheerleader" type. I'm not really the "sexy librarian" type. I do not laugh coquettishly at every lame ass thing that a man says to keep his attention though I laugh like a horse's ass when he is being genuinely funny. I'm just not the kind of girl that gets a lot of attention. I guess. So I'm just being me. I'm doing my job and the job requires an amount of sincerity that, in desperate times, can be construed as something more than "chick doing her job."

So I get a call that a guest needs extra blankets. Totally normal. Front desk runs me upstairs. I go. Guests always want something more so no big surprise there either. And I get to the door. A guy answers in just jeans. Again... pretty normal. So, just like I always do, I ask, "Do you need anything else tonight?"
He finishes the top down visual inspection that was already making me uncomfortable. Then he focuses his gaze on my boobs. Then on my crotch then looks back at my face and says "Nothing that I feel right in asking for."
I had felt like I was being checked out. And in that 30 nanosecond conversation in my head I managed to tell myself that it was imagination and he was probably one of those guys who just can not look a woman in the eye. When I realized I had been hit on, I just chuckled and walked away with a lilting (which I could have shot my self for) "Have a good night." and barreled down the corridor at Warp 1. Yikes!!!!!!!!

When I got back to the safety of my station I breathed a sigh of relief. What makes a guy say something so inappropriate? On the one hand I could be flattered. That has never happened to me before in the hotel. It's happened on line. Of course I always quesion the validity of any compliment given me on line. And in the course of my 25 years of work experience I have had a few co-workers express an appriciation for my form. But mostly everyone loves my art and my sense of humor. On super rare ocassions my prowess with Star trek trivia has gotten me the rapt attention of a boy at work. It was a little confusing. I don't think of myself in those terms even while in a relationship. So being confronted with the obvious oggling was a little strange.

Stranger still is that I went to a room a few minutes later to make up a sofa bed for a family and essentially the same thing happened when mom took the little one to the bathroom for a tubby. What kind of an idiot hits on the housekeeper with the wife in the next room? oh yeah... Arnold. Well trust me this guy was no Schwartzenegger. Not ugly. Kinda my type. But still... no one you take a chance on. So what was he thinking?

Seriously. What was he thinking? Someone tell me. Because I do  not get it. You proposition the Gretchen Bundschens and the Elle MacPhearsons of the world. Not the weird little gypsy wannabe housekeepers who by all rights should walk around wearing a drndl to make my extra weight look normal if not part of the show.

I just don't get it. And maybe I will never understand how guys think. Maybe it isn't even about how guys think. Maybe this is about me learning how to see myself differently so that I can make some changes that are good for me. And maybe this is showing me that I do not want to be sucked into somehting that is not good for me. Though it is hard to imagine getting sucked into something that creepy.


*I think that is the first time I mention myself by name. That to me sounds weird too. But again...
**Rogue, coincidentally is my favorite Marvel girl. Kinda even out ranks Storm.