Do You Ever Wonder.....

Do you ever wonder if you really have yourself truly figured out? If you really know what it is that you think you know about the things that really and truly define you? I am not to doubtful of any of my geek-cred. I mean sure there are gaping holes in my encyclopedic knowledge of some things... like ST: NG guest stars. But that is simply because my focus is the primary cast. Except Devinoni Ral. I still think that Will should have thrown him right out that transparent aluminum window in 10 Foreward for making remarks about how easy it is to enjoy Deanna's company. What's that you say? Transparent aluminum doesn't shatter? Oh. Well people do splatter and I think Will should have splattered him all over the place. But I digress... again. As is to be expected, none of us are 100% proficient in all of our pursuits. In knowing ourselves though, I think it is safe to say, those of us who constantly study ourselves in order to become self disciplined, eradicate the irrational animal instincts and weaknesses should know ourselves very well.

And in so knowing, we should know in what ways we are proficient. And if we have one or several chosen paths, I think that we should be able to know where we stand on those paths at any given moment. I also am beginning to think that I expect too much out of all of us. Why?

I sold some art.

I did not sell my favorite piece. I did not sell my best piece. I did not sell one that I felt was finished. I did not sell one that I would have submitted for publication.

What I did do is succeed in proving to myself that either I don't know much about my customers or I am too much in my head to understand that everyone has their own tastes. I judged the work incomplete while debating for 4 years how to finish the piece. I look at it and it feels like it should have more. But it does not tell me it wants more. For four years it has said "I am complete." And I've said "You are too simple to be finished."

It was experimental. I was not sure if the techniques or the look was exactly what I wanted to work with for a stretch of paintings. But I was intrigued enough to play. The piece was not meant for me. It does not want me. And I do not want it. Therefore I judged it as a lesser work, one that would not ever have a forever home and I banished it.

While I've been digging through things to set up my art studio (that journey is elsewhere on the net), (for starters), so has my housemate. And she showed her friends. And one of them fell in love with this piece that is not for me. Obviously it was for her.

I know art. I know my art. I know what good art is. I know what of my artistic endeavors is not good. Or do I?

It turns out I keep forgetting my audience is part of the discussion about art. And it makes me wonder how I can forget something so obvious as the people who will have to fund my artistic life with purchases. How does the obvious escape me? I wonder.

Do you ever wonder?