Schroedinger's cat lives

In this version of reality everything is coming up roses. MA says all the right things at exactly the right time and my heart isn't tweaked by the things that have been left unsaid. My finances don't scare him off when I tell him [no, haven't gotten there yet] and his latching on quickly and getting to the marriage topic so soon is attributed easily to his mild Aspberger's syndrome. He assures me that his mother will like me because I am Jewish and that will be all that matters when she sees how happy he is.
I find this prospect appealing on so many levels. On one of those levels, he pledges that I am in charge of the direction that our little enclave is to go. Whatever I want. I know this is not possible but not even those who wanted to seduce me with a false sense of security had that brilliant idea. On another level, I seem to be matched with someone who can meet me in my expectations for marital pasttimes. On other levels the cat is starting to get sick.

I turns out that MA is a messianic Jew, which saddens ACG to no end. I, of course, was a bit unnerved by some of these folks who want a Jewish girl because while I am not a shiksa, I'm not really jewish enough. Hence my use of the small j. But to find that he is messainic was a bit of a surprise. I had wondered what the deal was when ever he mentioned Christmas. I thought it was in deference to my upbringing. But he doesn't celebrate the High Holidays anymore.
This saddens me. I know at some point I will feel ungaurded enough to give my spiel on religious rewrites and the travesty the catholic church under Constantinian tutelage has perpetuated for the last 2000 years. But I can't go there right now. The short form, or rather the conclusion is this: Jesus, Yeshua, was born and raised Jewish and if you eliminate the teachings of the "Apostle" Paul, focus solely on the words of Yeshua, we are all supposed to celebrate the High Holidays, maintain the mitzvot, observe kashrut. We are all supposed to be Jewish. ACG said there was nothing to return to from something else which eliminates Yeshua as the promised Messiah. I don't know enough to disagree so I would not presume to dissaude any Jew from that opinion. But I will say this much as it applies to my opinion of Paul. Paul opened the door to formally Romanizing Judiasm. I think even the Praetors had to realize they could not exterminate every single Jew in the Middle East without collapsing the economy, so, used the teachings of a man they had a hand in eliminating to infiltrate religious orders. And by the 3rd century, having converted so many to a romanized version of their old beliefs [again, I don't know enough and make a broad presumption here, but the life Yeshua lived was not all that different from the teachings of the Zealots, Essenes and some of the the progressive Jewish sects prevalent in the region and thus I conclude that there is something more Jewish in the 1st century church than not] Rome moved on to converting the pagans and began the wholesale assimilation of cultures into what a rational mind can only call a perverse melange of psuedo-spirituality.
ACG can pick himself up off the floor now. And the rest of you may feel free to bring out the dunking stool. This is what, after years of study I believe. I have been looking for the answers to such questions as: why didn't the Gospel writers write epistles? Beyond telling a story where is their "midrash"? What was the fight that Paul had with Peter? And how did Paul replace Peter, who Yeshua named his successor, as the foundation of church doctrine? The argument I have been given by modern church leaders is this, none of the apostles could write. Really? A physician couldn't write? A tax preparer couldn't write? Puh-lease, I am not stupid. And they did write. Those documents are among the papyri found in Q'umran, nothing terribly earth shattering to directly challenge the core of the Matthew 5 teachings. But... it isn't all translated and some big pieces have "gone missing." An early document from Q'umran corresponds to the teachings of several "mystic cults", notable the Manichedeans [spelling error, sorry]. Mani, tells of a great battle between the Teacher and a false prophet. Some say the false one is Jesus. Some say the false one is Paul. I agree with the latter statement. For only one reason, the way in which the False One, the Liar, usurps the Teachers is precisely the way that Paul has superceded the original twelve apostles.
The way the Christian text was canonized calls much into question as well. And then there is the problem with the current translations. Martin Luther went a long way to get around some of the Catholic teachings but never got far enough. And he was the last one to directly challenge the church. So while the protestants are returning to the 1st century model, they are looking at a model based on a 3rd century lie.
Get out your Sting sickness bags: DeDo Do Do... I'm not likely to go back to a christian church even if it is a messainic one because they are probably being taught something other than the scriptures. In this regard, I agree with ACG that they are the worst kind of Jew. I have hope that someone can come along and say Yeshua wasn't teaching to get away from the temple, but to embrace the temple before it was poluted with Roman style abuses. Jesus, specifically said to celebrate Purim. He specifically celbrated the Passover seder with his followers. He didn't say to abandon anything but the corruption that he saw in the temple. That when the rules do not promote life [starving instead of picking a few grains of wheat to get through a grueling sabbath] that there is forgiveness for that.
Again, I don't know enough about Judiasm to give a point by point analysis. I only know that Jesus wasn't teaching a new religion per se. And for that belief alone, just about everyone in the world will declare me a heretic to be burnt in some unpleasant fashion. I have been invited on this path of discovery by Yeshua himself, not as the figure of the Christian church, not as a wandering rabbi, not as an iconoclast but as a fellow creature of Divine creation. I was asked to come along when I was twelve and I could not be confirmed into Catholicism. Nor could I ever fully accept church doctrine. If G'd doesn't tell me its right it isn't right. And I think MA is going to have a very difficult time with that. I think beyond my finances, that is the deal breaker.

Then what?
Cat''s dead.