As Sam says...

Ohhhhh Boy! *

Dear Readers,
Here's the thing. I write this blog on a bunch of topics that really only matter to me and my relationshipto geekdom and art. And I use this as a forum to test theories, explore writing styles and let the 3 people, ACG, JJ and a special friend tell me when I'm off base. The weirdest reason that I write this, especially under the bizarre mystical headings is because I do believe that what you voice to the Universe energetically shapes what the Universe gives to you. Some of these posts are just done to let the Universe know that I get it. Sometimes its to let the Universe know that I have finally let go of a hangup that threatened to topple my sanity... ya know, just incase it didn't seem too obvious to the Universe.

This has been great in one respect, ACG and JJ have had my posts to read, contemplate and then respond to some of my growth ops. Both of them seem to see a lot of progress in my self confidence and my ability to let things go. I see that in myself. As great as the blog has been to develop writing style and dealing with the Universal announcements it has its down side.

I don't always know that someone is reading my blog until I get the email that says I'm in trouble now. Sir Knight of an undisclosed number found out he'd been written about which means that he got a letter addressed to him. Ooh and guess what!!! He hasn't read it yet. Figures. And now I find that others are reading, digging way back in the archives and thinking that they can fill in the blanks and assume that they know what I am talking about.

Who would go into my archives? I mean I do just to see where I have been and how far I have come. But what I want to know is how come you guys lurk and don't tell me you're reading? I probably would not change how I write or what I write about. I do have to get rid of the crap that I've been carrying. And sometimes that means I actually have to listen to Verta when she tells me that I may have read a situation wrong and co-created my miseries. So here I am wondering what to do.

Do I want to write differently? No. Will I leave out the events that have to do with other people? I don't know. Those events shape who we are because we don't live in a vacuum; we aren't islands. To avoid law suits and hurting people's feelings I write with code names. It may well be that I have to be more creative in the naming. I am torn. As an artist, I need to know what shapes my view. I need to honor the good, bad and the painful because that is where all the art comes from. And it is also where the success, when it comes, will come from.


*edited this a.m. to add the following:
If you guys who are reading this, all 10 of you, would leave comments or just say hi then you would also experience an added benefit of a public blog. You could meet each other. I do not want to start a firestorm of commentary here. I'm no Wil Wheaton. But if there are 10 of you reading this and it is a source of commonality then you get to make friends (more friends- I wont presume any of you to be the next Red Kazinsky, holed up away from the world). I'm made ton of connections to people through the blogs I read. Often because they've "stolen my line" and almost as often because we have differing opinions. It isn't just to remind me to watch what I post that I ask for comments. It's because it helps you guys too.