It seems that while I am focusing on getting my financial house (11th for those of you keeping score on an astrology chart) in order, there are some personal issues that need to be addressed. And as everything is interrelated, the fun stuff is going to be sparse for a while. i have not lost any of my interest in geeky things. But do want to make sure that we, geeks of all stripes, have as many tools to help us negotiate in the world. So as I learn I pass it on to you.... the prime directive of geekdom.
Schwach und Stark. In German the words weak and strong. Weakness and strength seem to me to be present in each of us in varying measures. Weakness in anything, but especially in a person seems to be the most aggregious of sins in the American mindset. And good luck knowing what another will consider weak. In the American West, for instance, Sun Tzu would have been considered a pansy. Mistakenly so. But it often takes a grand, life ending/altering mistake to realize you have under estimated someone. But that is another story. Passivism seems like weakness to others. We seem to value those who can foist their opinions and wills on another for position, gain and influence above those who can work within the social order and bring others along with them. I will say that, in my opinion, the greatest thing tht Oprah has done was show that others can grow with you as your rise in influence and earnings rather than languish beneath you. She has not suffered at all in bringing others to some measure of success simply by being a cheerleader. If you look at how America was built and who its most powerful were in the industrial age you see the trend to which I refer.
The American industrialist was little better than the train robbers who plagued the American Western frontier. Lumber barons, steel barons, Rag kings, plantaitioners, bankers, brokers and lawyers, all men of strong will were also men who believed that any means to the end required to achieve their goals must be used. Slave labor, forced labor, indentured servitude and forced relocation to serve the industry and the grand magnates of those industries are what built America. Most of the names we associate with philanthropy today were names of avarice and oppression then. Forgive me for not remembering where I read this, but it would seem that those philanthropic gifts are the direct result of a need to protect wealth and not an obligation to fellow man. The names we do not currently know, the architects who tried to impart a sense of social justice to urban communities cramming 15 men to a room for .5 a night, the authors who exposed injustice in papers, pamphlets and magazines were motivated by genuine humanity to do something about the great oppressors.
Every so often we wake up to the oppression we experience. In American there is nothing so pressing as to generate a Tienamin, Chechnyn or any number of recent coupes. But the personal revolutions are happening more often. We are starting to see that those we have always though of as strong really are not. The fist first approach is characteristic of the weak minded. The false friend approach to dealing with peers is also weak minded but far more predatory in nature than straight forward violence. Wheeling and dealing someone into a submissive or subserviant position is a characteristic of greed. But it also demonstrates a degree of control that is born of the dealer's need to mask his or her own weakness.
In all of this, what escapes me is the answer to this question? Why is the fear of being or showing weakness so powerful a drive as to cause one human being to undermine or destroy another? It is often said that adversity breeds character because we meet a struggle and develop the necessary skills to get over, around or under the hurdle. What is said of weakness? What should be said of weakness?
"Those who ask for help are do not do so because they are weak, but because they wish to remain strong"What is said of weakness in ourselves is that we must be ashamed of it; that we deserve to succumb to the stronger wills and fists we encounter. We learn to live defensively: we teach children to hide from bullies, find alternative routes home, find an adult to hide behind. We learn to hoarde against the potential financial or socio economic disaster looming ahead of us. Or in the face of such a frightening spectre, to throw everything away so that there is nothing for someone to take. In the terms of Despereaux's community... we learn to be mice not men. We learn timidity. All the while we extoll the virtues of a nose-to-the-grindstone and cog-in-the-machine menatllity that we often times never realize our own personal goals.Which in its own little ways breeds more oppressors. But again... that is another post. What should be said of weakness?
Only this: weakness is an opportunity for growth. I know, I hate hearing that too. But it is true. Physical weaknesses tell us where we need to focus our energy and activities to gain physical strength. Where we are intellectually weak that is where we must find a tutor. Where we are spiritually weak we must focus our intentions on that that makes us stronger... not weaker. Weakness is not permanent. And that is where I think we falter. Somewhere in our synapses we have gotten the idea that where we are weak in a moment we will always be weak. In the instant that a predator sees that in us we are doomed. Because that predator will keep repeating that in word and in deed so that we will be at his/her mercy. Even a face of kindness or sympathy can be predatory. It is the action that reveals intent. Anyone who will not help you help yourself is a predator. Friends are supposed to help you stay strong because a strong individual is a strong friend. It is true, strength accomplishes great deeds. But only the Titans are born strong. Strengths are gained throughout a lifetime.
There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in any weakness. Where perhaps, if shame need even be applied, we should be ashamed of weakness it is in letting it persist. Firends, do not let shame keep you a prisoner of weakness. Shame is a goad as is weakness. And in and of itself is nothing to signify a dark mood or deem yourself valueless. Weakness is a clue that something constructive, action or thought, needs to be done to move into a new phase of your personal journey. If you have shame it is only because the first goad was not strong enough. Where we are weak God can make us strong, true. But God is not a genie in a bottle. He will move hearts from calloused to caring. But we, being creatures in a physical world who must meet physical needs, have to do the actual work.
The above quote came froom a motivational speaker who would not be were it not for the Michigan Rehabilitation Service arm of MI Works. I've said before sometimes you have to look outside of family and friends for help. And he did. I am. I have a weakness which must be overcome. I do not have family who will help me do that. Our long-standing behavioral patterns have established me as the punching bag. As long as I am the only one willing to change there will be no difference in our interaction. So if I want the approval from them that I seek I will have a long and unproductive wait. I do not have friends who know how to support me in my own pursuits because most of them seek nothing higher for themselves than the positions that they have already achieved or have their own family on which to focus. And in truth... I am reluctant to ask for the help that I need from those who might have some insight. I do not like to say I am weak.
You see for all my words, for all I have grown I am still gripped by my pride. It is old thinking that will take time to overcome. But as I grow, I share. If I wait until the end of the journey to process all I have learned to share it with you, then you may miss something important to you know. So many resources in this world are hoaded already. Wisdom should not be one of them.
Take what you can from this. Grow. Be better than your fears will let you be.
No comments:
Post a Comment