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Monday, May 19, 2008

The best part of contact with your guides...

is knowing that you're never alone.
I think I whined about that once before. The feeling that nothing is right when there aren't people around to share you interests. Well, I never really have felt heart-deep aloneness. I always felt as though I had all my friends around me. They are guides. Nieve in particular is my sci-fi/puzzle/games/research buddy.
When ever she has show up of her own volition, I have found new sci-fi to love. Star Trek OS, the Martian Chronicles, Assimov, Dr. Who. And she stays around for a long time when she gets here. I guess. Now that I know what to look for in the memory banks, I know that she was always around for a very long time.
I must always have know about these guys. Because I never seemed to worry much about being left alone. And this not-alone quality to my life has always annoyed the people around me. My brother for one.
I guess that is my contribution to our squabbles... I give the very distinct impression that his choice to be or not to be in my life makes no matter to me. It doesn't. People are who they are and will be when and where they will be. That I don't desperately need him offends him. When I was insecure it offended me when people didn't want me. I understand. I am sorry he's afraid of the UF but ... I am never alone or forsaken and I can't live like I am just to soothe ruffled egos.

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