Rather than have all my dreams come true, I have had the nagging feeling that something at work is about to go horribly wrong. And that would revolve around our new twenty minutes a room limit. I can't hit it. Too many variables once you get to your floor. For instance: the number of guests who want to raid your cart because they have to get out and about and ran out of something; the guest who wants better directions somewhere than the front desk gave; the trash the guests put in with your dirty linens instead of leaving it in their rooms or bothering to find the garbage bag to put it in; the number of comforters that have to be changed because someone let their child/partner/grandchild/inner child eat chocolate on the bed; the number of amenities the guest has rearranged in their room between your visits; and the distance from your wing to the laundry room when your cart is too full of laundry and the houseman has called in sick. But my favorite are the over ripe diapers that the guest ditches on your cart so that the smell is in the hall way instead of in their room forcing you to make the extra trip to the dumpster to avoid hurling through the corridor while you work.
I can't tell guests to go ask the front desk. They don't put up with that. And 20 minute rooms means something gets missed. I don't like that. Guests don't like that. They don't come back. But if I have to loose this job because I can't hit twenty minutes and feel good about it then I am glad that I have had the last couple of days there. I got to spend the day pared with one of my favorite peeps... the little brother I never had. The kid is the most gregarious Capricorn I have ever met. He is a cusp baby, close enough to being an Aquarius that we get a long great. Almost everyone I work with is younger than me by enough that they could be my kid or my nieces and nephews if my siblings had started making families right after school like our classmates did. We laugh all the time, get our work done and we don't leave each other to flounder with all the rule changes that seem designed to get rid of us.
I have no delusions about my importance to any company. Between Suze Orman and John Tesh's Intelligence for Your Life segments, I'd be an idiot to think that my winning personality is going to save my ass from the fire when I slide off the spit. The bottom line is the only thing that matters in the biz world. And my bottom line is too expensive and threatens performance bonuses. I will be let go eventually. Maybe not this week. Maybe not next, but my butt is feeling toasty and Bev's reading indicates that there is a higher than 50% chance that my instinct is right.
On the happy side. I think that I have managed to make some pretty good friends and I have proven to myself that I can be socialized and not revert to trained monkey status no matter how tightly the screws are turned. And Bev indicated that the next six months would bring me in touch with all of my hopes and dreams. They won't all be fulfilled at once, but the opportunity to follow them will come like never have before. I don't know how. She only said to look for miracles in small things. And my adopted little brother is one of those small miracles. I certainly wouldn't have recognized him as such on the street.
This has been the hardest job I have ever had because of the physical stress that I have put on my body. But the reward has been a drop in pant size and a self confidence to blend in anywhere. Of course I laugh way too much while I am working with the kids... the same problem I encounter with my brother's kid in my brother's presence. But, as I pointed out to the kids, If you don't laugh you die. I'm not ready for that today. And I don't see a day coming soon when I will be. I am done wishing for death without ever having had the guts to live.
Now watch, God in his infinite humor will smack a BATA bus into me.
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