Lesson #2

I've known this for a while. I've been telling people this all my life. And as the new year starts I feel compelled to remind you and myself of this truth: all you need is love. Specifically the love of good friends.

Friendships occur on many levels from work buddies to intimate companions. A healthy life has a multitude of friends on the lower tiers gradually building a pyramid which bosts a shining cap in the form of your life's mate. A wide base of friends is a stable foundation upon which one can build a lasting relationship. The quality of those friends determines ultimate stability. In this past year I have amassed a legion of friends in volume and quality that I have not known since I lived in Marquette.

This is noteable in many ways. First, through facebook I have connected with people from high school whom I believed were beyond my league because I was using the same myopic lens my siblings used for viewing and judging my life. I learned that my perception is truly the only thing that seperated me from my peer group. In part because of an inherantly flawed self concept and in part due to trusting the wrong people to redefine my self image. Facebook allowed me to reconnect wiht people from Marquette, the right people to help redefine self. In the 15 years we were apart, life taught us things about oursleves that encourages humility and a greater acceptance/tolerance for our humanfrailties. It was my frailty that I thought made me unworthy of those friends. A wrong perception again.

Secondly, working with the public and a wider range of coworkers has brought me out of the self imposed prison of solitude. 2008 went a long way to bringing me out into humanity from the exile that can be self employment. My coworkers then allowed me to stretch my social muscles and strengthen my funny bone. But it has been the last 6 months of 2009 that has seen the most growth. I work with more people than I ever have in my life. And the two people who have made the most difference in my life are Mark and Dave. So if you will indulge me a sidebar moment:
Mark is one of those people that God uses to heal the world. He'd never let me say that to his face so I will hide here on my blog and tell you the truth. It has been a long time since I have met anyone, man or woman, who can match Mark in the category of genuine affection. He is an afficianado of human beauty, both inside and outside. Where most would see the ginormous physical flaws he finds in each of the people he meets and inherent beauty. When ever he overheard one of us bemoan a lack of male companionship he was quick to point out that each one of us girls possesses a trait that makes us beautiful. For Amy it was her eyes. Admittedly they are stunning. I have never seen a pair that color or intensity. So for a guy into eyes they would make anyother trait pale in comparisson. For Leann, it was always her smile and impish features and the way that she carried herself that outweighed any flaw she saw in herself. He never told me what it was about me and I won't ask. I don't think I have to. Mark is one of those people that won't say anything bad about someone because he can see the reasons for temporary anomalous fluctuations in their otherwise steady orbits. Mark may not have used his learned trade as often as he would have liked as one of our mantenance men, but God put him in place with us because that kind of acceptance and love builds a good team. I feel his loss when work gets dicey. But we have a great techno age that means he is only as far away as the SEND button. And then there is Dave.

Yes, I have a personal affinity for the man. Have had a crush on him since he came to work at the other property. Dave shows his genuine affection for his coworkers in so covert a manner that it is easy to forget that he likes people. When his Evil Twin takes over his body for the day it is easy to forget that he is generous in spirit only because he is so subtle. You know how when you ask someone to do something and they grumble about it the whole time, that grumbling sours the day right along with the experience? In the whole time that I have known Dave he has been quick to answer a request for assisstance even if he feels like crap. Of all the maintanence men that I have known, he is the only one who cleans up his own mess, offers to help in departments that are not his and doing jobs that are not his responsibilty. He is always looking out for us in the housekeeping department. On many occaissions he has saved my back from the burden of overstuffed bundles and recently decided that my grey transport tubs need handles so that I don't have to walk hunched over to move them. If you're having a bad day he will be the clown to make you smile. If someone bad mouths one of the girls he is quick to stand up for her. It's been a long time since I have met a man who embodies the true spirit of a Knight in Shining Armor. Yes, I am biased as I have a crush on him. But if you ask anyone else they will say the same thing. When Dave is on property I don't feel like the laundry troll that my position would say I am. In fact, when Dave is on property I feel just like I did in High School: ready willing and able to serve at a moments notice. Because he is willing to go beyond the bounds of his job description and care how everyone else fairs, I am willing to go beyond as well. While we would normally do that for Alex anyway becasue he is the best boss ever, there is enough grumbling and tension to make you forget that you do for Alex and the guests. Dave helps to keep things in perspective and makes each day a joy. Gushing over.

Thirdly, you have to be your own best friend. You have to know where your woth is, appreciate the things that make you you. That means getting to know your energy. When you do, that let's you recognize like energy. Recognition means that you will attract like energy or repell disparate energy which in the long run makes your life happier and healthier. In this coming year, we need to recognize the things that contribute to our lives by finding like energy. As the positive energy bands together and grows the negative will have no room to navigate. It will not control with fear and insecurity as it does now. Love in all its forms in all its guises is the energy of healing.