Full moon mishap? Mayhap?

I sure hope so. Because if it wasn't just the full moon, someone with PMS or a terribly inopportune moment to lose grasp of ones composure then the incident seriously upsets the delicate nature of my assessment of my coworkers. When I left today I found the following under my windshield wipers:

Thanks For The Nice Door Ding! Make Sure You Park As Close As Possible So Your Lazy Ass [Doang]* Need To Walk. Fucking Asshole! Die.

*This is what it looks like. It most likely says Dont or Doesnt. It just doesn't come through like that.

It wasn't scrawled on a piece of random paper ephemera but on a page violently torn from a Franklin planner. It was, no doubt, left by the person to my left. The person to my left was a coworker. I recognized the vehicle. And I chose to park in an admittedly narrow space because a. it was the last one in the employee lot, b. knowing the owner of the vehicle, I trusted that he would take great care in backing out to avoid damaging either of our cars and c. because the imp of the perverse made me mad. The red mini van to the right hogged a little part of my space. The black truck to my left parked little better. And in my mind I thought if the inconsiderate lout in the mini van got himself a ding he deserved it. In my mind I heard one of the comedians from Bob and Tom say "Drunk again." so I really didn't feel bad. So I hugged the truck's space. Like I said I knew the owner.

Now it is also true that because I knew the owner I took great pains in getting out of my car to avoid doing any damage to his car because I like him, as a human being, as a co-worker and as a fellow Bob and Tom fan. I could hope that this isn't his hand writing. But it would be a false hope. I could hope that he meant it to be funny. But it isn't. I mean what if a guest had parked that close? He doesn't really know my car; for all he knew it could have been a guest. He could also have hoped that the perpetrator of so heinous and aggregious a sin would assume another guest had left the note. What would a guest think? If he did I would hope that he would have come in to talk to me. I could also hope that