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Saturday, January 23, 2010

foot in mouth again or... Independence Day IV

Wow, guys! Thanks for all the feed back on those Independence posts. Glad to know I can still stir up a hornets nest. Largely though, I think you all missed my point, which I thought I had made sufficiently. Not well, mind you, but sufficiently: Tony Nelsons, And the Dick York Darrens don't deserve a Jeannie or a Sam. Both were arrogant, verbally abusive and laid blame for their mistakes directly at their women's feet. Granted Jeannie misunderstood a lot. But she was also the one most taken advantage and Tony seemed to always blame her even when HE failed to communicate. If there were TV dad's who deserved someone with phenomenal cosmic powers it would be the men with even tempers, compassion and the understanding that their woman did not, as Archie said, come from a cheaper cut of meat.
As I said, loved Jeannie's bolero jacket and harem pants. I wish I had someone to be home for, waiting in anticipation. But I run into a lot of Tony's and Darrens. I'd love to be that excited about getting home before or staying home to greet my man. I am not, as I said a femi-nazi. But I'm looking for a Charles Ingalls. Not once did I notice Caroline shrink from Charles when he walked in the door. Jeannie and Sam did a lot of that. Not once did Charles use Caroline's name as a curse word the way that Darren used Sam's. Tony would bellow for Jeannie like a herald of Armageddon... who wants that? Not me.
And that's what I meant. I have learned the skills necessary to be a domestic goddess/genie/whatever. I have also learned unnecessary but fun skills. And it makes me madder than William Shatner's self aggrandizing that I don't have anyone to share those skills with. But when my man comes home and dinner isn't done because the risotto is being temper mental or because someone at the grocery store had to spend 15 minutes arguing with the only cashier about the price of every item in her cart... I'm NOT getting yelled at. If Caroline were late with dinner Charles just took a little longer to wash the grime off and spent a few minutes relaxing. John Walton, should Liv ever have had to cook for a surprise visit from a client and wasn't ready with dinner, had the brains to go off and entertain the guest for a few minutes. Tony and Darren got mad then got under foot. Not happening. And if there were any other reason, like just having an off day, that Caroline or Liv didn't rush to Charles or John the second they walked through the door then Charles or John would go to them, wrap their arms around her waist while she was standing at sink or stove. How hard is that?
It is hard to find someone like that these days. That may be why I am looking for an older guy. of course there is always family tradition to uphold. [smile] For the most part, like I said before, I want to be Jeannie or Sam... just not to Tony and Darren. And yes, part of that is selfishness because I am tired & lonely. Mostly though its because, as my sister said, I make a great fan. I am a superfangirl.
Again, I am independent by necessity not by choice. I make a great fan. And the number one thing you are as a girlfriend or wife is your partners fan. It means you really like them a lot. it means you always care about what they are doing, want to do and that you don't let them feel emotionally unsupported. It doesn't mean that you have to do everything for them (Darren) but that when they want to do something, have done the risk/benefit assessment, that you are there. Yeah, no. I'm not giddy stupid with the pom poms... never has been me. Never will be me (I hope). But if you run yourself ragged working your butt off for your boss, I will meet you at the door with a bottle of lotion and something refreshing for you to drink... commencing back rub. It also means that I'm not gonna complain about not getting any extra help at home if you suddenly end up working a bunch of overtime. I'm already pretty good about not being emotionally needy so it won't be hard to hold off heavy discussions during times of intense working conditions. It means I'll fuss if you're sick even if you tell me not to... oops. But you know what it also means?
It means that you aren't getting yelled at for things you can't control. You get all the action you need/want because when I am my boyfriends fan I am giddy stupid about the intimacy. The other thing that is good about me in total fangirl mode is that no one gets to put you down for anything. And I miss me in that role.
Sure, Star Trek just upped the ante on its franchise so I'm still that kind of fan girl. The Wheaton is ever awesome so my superfangirl gets to cheer for him all the time. And no, I didn't forget Castle. Nor have I forgotten about the awesome maintenance guy at work. Yes, I am a fan girl. But I can't do for Trek, Wheaton and Castle what I want to do as a superfangirl. And so far for whatever reason the one I thought most likely, most worthy, won't let me either. My soul lives to praise people. My heart wants the one person, for however long I get to have him, I can fangirl squee over in a reciprocal relationship.
I don't want to be independent. But statistically there are more Darrens and Tony's than there are Charles and Johns.

I hope that clarifies things for you guys and you girls who jumped my case on this one. I don't know how I was misunderstood. And, just in case you still think that I am a cold hearted and logical bitch, let me say that in the field of 9 contending Knights, there is only one that I hope will take advantage of the ginormous lead he has over the other contestants even if sometimes he is a scamp who should have title of Knave. Well, no. ESPECIALLY because he is a scamp.

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