He Who gave me that hug right in front of the Liar. It was welcoming and conveyed great affection despite its short duration and mild force. It said "Welcome, I missed you." in the most subtle of ways. Nothing of that surprising Spring morning when he froze in line at the gas station remained. I felt nothing of my old crush either. Just relief that we were okay after all these years. It was exactly what I wanted.
I was surprised that the Universe left the scene as I wrote it. I had expected something all too brief that would leave me weepy. He an his wife walked in and he waved at everyone, made eye contact with me, approached when he could. I was in the middle of a conversation with a couple of people when he came up. His hug started wide just as the Liar walked passed and glared at me for the umpteenth time. I made eye contact with her just as I was going in to return the hug. I didn't see her blanche but I did feel a hit in my sacral chakra. That is the seat of our identity. She apparently still holds the belief that she can define me, as the sacral wouldn't have been hit otherwise. I know he hasn't read my blog to know that is what I wanted. He is more technophobic than I am. I know, I was surprised too. In that moment, wrapped in mercy, I felt that Universe freeze time for just an instant. I felt the message go out to receptive and nonreceptive alike... "She will not be attacked anymore." I felt someone/something in the Universe make it abundantly clear to those who intefere as well as to myself that what had been wrong will be right and what never was wrong will no longer be cloaked in the grey veil of uncertainty.
He was completely companionable. He joined our discussion. We were just getting to my turn when another came up and interrupted the flow. The discussion shifted and for a few minutes we were stuck. He tried to find an opening to turn the floor to me. Then his wife came up. While the three of us were engrossed in the conversation he told her our names and after a few minutes they wandered off elsewhere. At the end of their time with us, He made sure to say goodbye, again making eye contact.
The overall effect of the night is that everything is okay. I'm okay with him. I'm pretty okay with the accomplice because, I suspect, she was just a pawn as well. We've made plans to hang out when she is here later this winter.
The best part of the night was receiving validation for my prior supposition.
I am not the only one who noticed that we all get along better now. Several people agreed that we seemed to have grown into very cool people. The boys who picked on me so much in elementary school embraced like brothers and good friends. And I realized finally that they only teased. The picking happened at home. The interpretation I gave their actions was a hypersensitive response to what went on elsewhere. The two Matts were not malicious. Of course their were others that were malicious, but they weren't at the reunion. They didn't stay passed our sophomore year. We just needed time to feel good in our skins, find out who we are without worrying so much about what Fr. Niece would do, or embarrassing our parents. And in many ways, we are the family that Mr. Powers kept telling us we were.
I've known most of them almost as long as I've had siblings. And these are the people who remember me almost exclusively as an artist and would never dream of telling me not to be. As a matter of fact, everyone I told about my impending plans for my own business was more encouraging than I could possibly have imagined. I am so glad that I went.
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