Writing just to write

I used to do that as a kid. It started with a long story of about 32 pages when I was 7 or 8. And it kept right through highschool. I had a notebook of short stories. And then whe ni got out of baby math and into the grown up math classes i still needed extra credit. And Mrs. Schumacher let me write. I wrote one chapter every week to turn in on Friday. The chapters were hand written, averaged 20 pages and ended with the lead into the next part of the stroy. It was a fantasy story and the school year ended before I finished the story. I wrote myself into a corner and could n't get out to startthe next school year. But I didn't have her for a math teacher again.
I wish I could remember that story.
I wish I could reconstruct the one I wrote for Mr Trapp's AP writing class. Unfortunately the computer really did eat it and other pieces of homework and I couldn't get them off the disk again.
I need to feed my imagination.
Getting ready to move have sucked up alot of brain power. And trying to keep two steps ahead of my brother has fried several internal circuits. Then there is the class reunion that is taking up my imagination... there are a lot of things that I want to have happen. Chief among them is to finally feel okay being myself. Wil just endorsed spontaneous public dancing in the grocery aisles and that is definately something I would have done and did do throughout school. I've had some of the nicest things said to me in hte last few weeks. Its hard not to let that go to my head. And He Who has sent me an email requesting more information. I want to write anything but that response right now. I just don't know what to say...
I'd rather write a SG-1 fanfic short centered on Ba'al or a STNG with Wesley as a reinstated Captain in the midddle of a fire fight than write the response I asked to be allowed to write.
Why do I do this to myself?