Or is it?
I've been here for a while, checking e-mail and obsessing about that physicist, having an iced mocha, reading sme comics, cruising you tube for the new X-men/Marvel movie trailers and doing some covert people watching.
There is a rather atractive man sitting by the window. Don't know how long he has been there or what he is working on. BUt I have been trying to catch his attention for about 20 minutes. Every once in a while, I gaze at the ceiling as though there is a thesaurus/dictionary/elusive memory to capture while I am writing. I hope that it looks less like I am checking him out and more like I am stumped and going about my own business. I've seen him looking; I can't call it checking back. He's gone to the counter for another cuppa. And now, I am wondering...
How do you just walk up to someone in a coffee shop and say "Hey, you wanna go out?" or "Share a table" if the place fills up like it did on Sunday? yes, I've seen this kind of thing in every John Cusak-Breakfast Club-MegRyan/Tom Hanks movie and it should be as easy as walking over to a table and saying "hey" in some form or another. The brain tells the body to stand, then walk and then say something that does not require a +30 roll to save. It requires some measure of aplomb, decorum, confidence and while I am here writing this entry he will get up and leave and go about his day. What will happen is that I will sit here and think about this until the opportunity leaves and I am forced to promise my self that I will act the next time the opening is there.
This is, and yes I am counting, the 15th next time an opening has presented itself. And what am I doing while I am typing? I am making all the faces Tom Hanks made in you got mail while he was trying to answer Meg's business questions. It looks like I am concentrating and not paying any attention to him. Yes, I am thinking I have that part down pat. But how does the next part happen?
How do people take this kind of a chance with so little to go on.... oooh, I just did Duckie!... it's madness. Why couldn't I have been born with a bit of boldness to go with the brains? Ocourse, with wi-fi the way it is, he could be doing that cool thing that Blain did in the library to get Andie's attention. He could be reading what I am writing while pretending to be lost in what he is typing. He could have gotten up for coffee a little while ago to better get a look at me without the sun in his eyes. But, what is more probable is that he will continue to battle the sun for a view of his computer from his perch in front of the coffee gift display case. He is probably covertly checking out the trio of young women in front of him and not the slightest bit interested in me. Or... he is just so engrossed by the work displayed on his screen and already married that he doesn't notice anyone or anything.
And still... I have no idea how one finds the guts to approach a total stranger. Even if that stranger looks suspiciously like someone whose profile I have seen on a dating site. One could argue that I can't be that interested if I would let whatever hang up is hanging me up to hang me up. I could chalk it up tothe distraction of trying to eliminate Dionne Warwick from my consciousness as she is whining bout saying her prayers. Others could say that if I can't find an ounce of courage that I am not ready, not looking for him to play the part of Mr. Right or that I am just a big chicken.
Bawk.
Oh look, he's packing up and heading out. I have exactly 2.5 minutes to find the courage to say "Hey." I probably only had a 1 minute window when he walked over here to throw away his coffee cup. I can say chump. chump. I am an idiot.
This never used to be a problem when I had tons of guy friends around to hang out with. I am seriously considering that this whole plak tow thing is simply because of isolation. I just need people to hang with and this wouldn't be an obssession. I wouldn't even care. It's just the deprivation. I need to find people to game with.
No comments:
Post a Comment