Musical Woes

So something weird happened on the way to my mailbox. Somewhere along the line, the USPS decided it could not actually deliver to me the package my penpal sent. So no new Matthias Reim in the que. I only have a few sound bites from the songs to hear. It is a shame to since I have all kinds of time to learn this CD. Pen pal is reshipping so hopefully the second time will be magic.

In the meantime there is Spotify, and a new app I added to my phone: 8tracks. It started, as so many things do these days with a Pintrest pin. Hot British guys reading Poetry and Prose. Mostly Cumberbatch (Happy Birthday, Old Man!) and Tom Hiddleston. There are a few other great voices; Alan Rickman to make you cry (still not over that), Richard Armitage (for those who miss a tortured Guy) Michael Caine (still waiting for that Alfred smackdown on Bratman), Kenneth Branaugh (because Shakespeare the movies) and David Tennant (expecting Don't Blink to punctuate the Sonnets). It's great fun. And I am sleeping better.

In fact, off the Lexapro and with these gents in me ear all night, not only am I sleeping through BUT I am also not having nightmares. Major HUZZAH! Those things were killing me. And not so softly either. The panic attacks that shoot me out of bed for literally no good & logical reason have stopped. I think this means that I will have to make sure I only watch them being good guys. Or in Armitage's case, the wishing he could be better Guy and not them being assholes about life and everything. Fortunately it will be a while before there is more Jessica Jones. And Netflix has taken the Doctor away until the new streaming BBC is ready. So the only danger is accidentally engaging the memory files and triggering some kind of avalanche of terror. I also skip Hiddles. Sorry Tom, but Loki.... I can't.

Now if only I could find Josh Brolin and Goetz Otto reading things, my audio library will be complete.

Any way. As I was cruising through this new app I realized it is a lot of playlists. And there are German playlists. Matthias playlists. I don't know how this all works. But somehow, there is a way to make my mobile music experience great again. And I shall do so while I await the new CD. In the meantime, well rested me is having a blast with the energy from actual restful sleep.

The Moon Woke Me Up

The moon is full tonight. It was sitting in the West, light streaming into my window through the slits in the blinds. I had to look twice, then three times because it seemed there were two moons. One was considerably smaller. In my dream-drunk stupor I vaguely recalled that Mars was supposed to be visible this month.

With the greatest excitement and panic I shot out of bed (mistake), dressed for the cold, frantically (another mistake) searched for my camera and dashed outside to be utterly disappointed.

Apparently at any angle of viewing my windows cast two moons. When I went outside there was only the one glorious moon we have and Mars was no where to be seen.

With a bit of grief and much relief that I didn't wake the house for nothing I came back inside to reflect on tonight's dreams and nightmares. And to steady my heart rate. I shall be awake for sometime. My heart is pounding as if the adrenaline has killed what was left of my heart medicine.
I am not safe from any strong emotion it would seem. And since I do not want another stay in the hospital, I am going to have to do something a bit different in life.

Matthias Reim's new album comes out. I will have to consider the wisdom in these new songs quite seriously. To be sure the album is full of fun and life but there is also in this one, some good solid retrospection and some lessons to be learned. Trust me, it is best to learn some things vicariously rather than to go through them yourself. It is a shorter road to travel. That doesn't make your road less difficult and your own accomplishments less valid. It just make the stress of traveling it less to have the roadmap and footnotes that others who have gone before you have left.

Optimism is the key.

Control of one's irrational emotions is also key.

Of course from where I am sitting, being able to sleep through the night would help tremendously.

wenn ein Schwan singt...

Today was one of those days that I felt really scattered and unfocused. It is one of my last days off for a very long time. I wanted to sleep in but that didn't happen. I wanted to chill in the sun with the cat. That also did not happen. She hung out but it wasn't sunny and she wasn't cordial. I wanted to hang out all in a coffee shop but I had no motivation to do so. What I did do was moon over Sir Knight for whatever insane reason. I needed out and there was company coming. After I took pop bottles back (we have bottle deposits in MI) and got myself a throw back Squirt in a twisty green bottle I decided it was picture time.

I'd left the camera in the car, needed the natural light and some air so why not make a Throw back Thursday pic outside? The second my feet hit the deck I saw the white on the lake and knew we had swans. Swans! Throwback Thursday would wait! I ran and got the camera out of the car as they were swimming into the cove. RAN down the hill to the beach and turned the camera on. Nothing. I left the batteries in the bag. So I ran back up the hill, got the batteries and prayed they would stay near. Fortunately swans are very efficient swimmers (read, lazy) and take their time so as to conserve energy.

Until this point, most of my experience with swans was on the bay at my Grandparents house. They would come to the beach where Gramma fed them. All they would do was honk til they were fed and hiss when you ran out of bread. Then they would waddle off in a huff to the next beach for a meal. I rarely saw them in the water. When I've seen them at Logan's Landing they are resting in their nests. And I almost never see one in flight. My mom had a 16 mm film of them landing on the Boardman river. But not doing much else. As they paddled closer to our end of the lake, I was mesmerized.

I started snapping shots. Unfortunately not all of them came out. I set the camera to focus and half the time forgot to depress the shutter button all the way. Of the 40 shots I thought I took there were only about 20. But they were good shots. I almost had the coveted two swans making a heart shot. But they were angled wrong for it to come out like a heart. There were two neighborhood kids throwing stuff into the water. I watched them descend the hill with sticks in their hands. I don't know what the point of that was. And I'd like to not think about the paranoid thoughts I was having. But they behaved while I was waterside and I stayed until the swans were well out of range of any projectile weapons if that had in fact been a plan. So while I didn't get the heart formation, I did get to watch a bit of mesmerizing synchronized swan diving. They were perfectly timed together for about 10 minutes.








There is a lot of swan butt flashing in synchronized swan diving. I haven't googled what it was they were diving for. I assume algae. But most likely it would be the freshly hatched minnows. Or tadpoles. I don't really want to know but I will probably look it up in about two minutes.

Just before this performance they had seemed really interested in the two girls. When they realized there was no food offered they changed tack and made a straight line for my perch on the beach. Swans have a reputation for being confrontational and snippy. Looking down the snout of a black billed swan is just a bit as terrifying as looking down the barrel of a submarine's torpedo port. Swans have an intense gaze. And in intense propulsion system! When they come barreling at you it becomes necessary to plan the escape route. Fortunately the kids were still too close for comfort and they veered to port to perform the fore mentioned dinner dance.

All in all it was a good photography day. And it was a good nature day. Once I settled into the shoot all of the weird anxious feelings went away. I thought about my Gramma and how much she would have enjoyed being that close to them. Actually, I felt that more than thought that. I didn't really think about much except planning shots based on the swans' predicted trajectory. I felt Gramma. I felt the peace that came with being around her because she accepted everyone the way they were. She never really tried to change anyone until they said that they didn't like something about themselves. I miss that kind of peace.

Hoarder or collector?

I got called a hoarder the other day and I am not sure how I feel about it. It was meant as a tease but someone else called the name caller an ass. So maybe it wasn't a tease. So I got to thinking. What is the difference between hoarding and collecting?

I don't know the answer. I just wonder. It was said in the "dirty German" book that Germans are notorious collectors an have some of the weirdest obsessions. Geeks have a weird neurotic component to being a geek and that is to have a collection of things that they love. As tastes change some geeks will be able to part with things. Some geeks can not throw or give anything away. And I think that is where the hoarding is visibly manifest. Hoarders can not part with anything. So hoarding is actually a symptom of a deeper emotional problem and not a characteristic of a personality type? I think so.

My mom collected. My mom was messy. Was she a hoarder? Since no one's health was in danger form her collections and there wasn't garbage everywhere I would have to say if she was it was mild. But here's the thing. She was also the family archivist. And as such, she was obliged to keep the families traditions in tact. Our families "treasures" came in the form of hard fought objects gathered during the dark days of the depression, or things that came from Germany.

In some ways I am also the family archivist. When there is a question I am the first one asked. And if there is a question of "whatever happened to....." the answer will be "I have it. Are you ready to take it home now?" So a lot of the stuff that I have is in holding.

Now that is not to say that I don't have traditional geeky obsessions. I've said it before & I will wear my fan-pride proudly by saying again: I have every album Matthias Reim has made. And a few compilations from record company aggregators.

•  I almost have all of Castle's Nikki Heat books.
• Every season and movie of Stargate SG-1.
• Every Sherlock Holmes Jeremy Brett made.
• Every season of MacGyver
• I've had all the Dragonlance books. Twice.
• Nearly complete Sherilynn Kenyon Dark Hunter novel
• Every season of Frasier
• Every one of Stings albums except Mercury Rising.
• I collect art supplies in much the same way that I do books and movies. If I find a kind of ink I like I get a lot of the inks in the line. If I find a color I love I get it in as many varieties as I can. So I have a lot of art supplies.
• And rubber stamps.
• and quilting fabric.

But the  thing is. I use what I collect. It's just not out of the boxes because the storage situation in the house is a bit weird. And I am not sure where it all should go. Now there are quite a few things that will have to go. I know that. And I am ready for that. I just want everything done now and because it isn't I get overwhelmed.

The other part of this equation is the things that I collect. I like celebrating the seasons. We did this with school, I did it with daycare. And to some extent my mom made seasonal changes in the way that she decorated the house. Martha Stewart kinda made this a solid thing for me. It is a tradition that is hard for me to do without. But because I have done without it is hard for me to find the groove for it again. So I am trying to figure out if the mojo for home decorating and entertaining is going to kick in.

I am also surrounded by people who never embraced or indulged (I'm not sure which is the word) in these kinds of things. There were not everyday and holiday dishes in the families of some of the people that I am surrounded by. There was in our house. There were Summer dishes and Winter dishes. Cottage dishes and home dishes. It wasn't just for us. It was for the company that came.

We changed up place settings to indicate that something special was coming. Every day dishes at Easter or Christmas were frowned upon. My mom used to say that treating a special occasion like an everyday thing made it cheap and pointless. Setting the table with linens, sparkling "fancy" dishes and the crystal serving bowls was a ritual that helped us put our heads around the fact that company was coming; we were supposed to behave better than we did every day and, especially the case with Christmas and Easter, there was something important going on that you needed to pay attention to.

Of course some people who neither could afford "fancy" settings nor learned the art of entertaining just call it fancy, putting on airs and snobbish. Then decide that you are acting like you are either better than you really are or that you are better than them.  Who sets the better table: Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart? Who needs a Martha Stewart Living photo shoot with each holiday meal?

Entertaining may have a bit of showing off in it. Without a doubt I tried very hard to meet my mother's expectations when she came to my house for dinner. And then I took a few steps beyond that. So I did compete with mom. We did the show-off show-down. In my heart I can honestly say with everyone else who has eaten at a well set table in my house, it was set especially for the occasion so that they felt appreciated. it isn't about the hard work that goes into planning a dinner, preparing the food and setting a table. It's about treating your friends and family like royalty.... or as close as you can get in your pay scale.

I learned, from a few sources, to appreciate entertaining as a gift of hospitality. Elevating an evening meal from the mundane to the magnificent redirects your attention, brings intent back to the activity. Without intent its just a boarding house scramble to pile food into your face and get away from everyone else as quick as possible. Setting a table closer to proper than paper plates or eating over the sink encourages people to linger. It also encourages better manners than the boarding house grab. Not always, but most of the time.

I do have a lot of stuff. I have a lot of stuff as a family vault. But I also have a lot of stuff because I see it as tools to creating a comfortable and comforting atmosphere. These days I am surrounded by people who are into minimalism for the sake of getting through the day faster and not for the sake of simplicity. To me it seems slap dash, unintentional and meaningless to do things that way. Yes, it would be easier to eat off of paper plates and not have things to dust. But when does the special come in?

I guess this all has me thinking because I felt a little judged. And I've felt a lot judged recently. It's a pretty even line of being accused of being "too good" for some and "not good enough" for others. This is a horrible place for someone like me who is a people pleaser trying to learn to take care of herself, who needs rituals to make life make sense. I am literally stuck in the middle. Of course on the subject of being fancy (anything not white is fancy) one could argue that the act of bringing the fancy dish to the potluck is judging those who aren't "fancy" as being not good enough.

And calling me a hoarder somehow makes that assumption of judgment better. I should not care so much what other people think of me. I should just do my own thing and let others do theirs and not worry so much what goes on in their heads. If only it would stay in their heads.

And I still don't know if I am a hoarder or just a collector.

Dark Days Need a Bright Spot.... or 8

 

 

 

So what do you do when the landlord installs a deck after the first dusting of snow? Do you pine for warmer days? No! You bust out the goods and go to work making some holiday cheer.

 

 

And then of course make a picmonkey collage to celebrate the occasion. It was warm enough today to be out without a jacket and have the two tiger cats outside. Tessa kept wanting to run down the hill to get into mischief so that was a bit nerve wracking since they are not my cats. Don't need to let loose a wild and KA-razy girl on the neighborhood.  

 

 

You might think that I am a Christmas junkie and you would be right. I was without Christmas of my own for so long that busting these babies out of storage and finally opening the boxes felt really good. Spending the afternoon futzing with limbs and lights to the sound of Matthias Reim's Größe Weinachts Party was also pretty fabulous. Now I can not wait for snow to fall for real. I even got the windows washed.

 

It's just about time to relax with some eggnog and figure out what to do with the rest of the Christmas décor I know is floating around here. I've been scouring Pintrest for ideas. The housemate already thinks that Christmas threw up on the deck so it should be interesting to decorate without overwhelming her.

 

Sheesh.... and there is more in storage.

 

Oh and I have to find the attachments for the stand mixer so we can make cookies.

and gingerbread.

 

Note to self: research the origins of gingerbread and houses.

Opening a New Blog? Maybe

Seriously I have to give this a lot of thought. I am a geek about a lot of things. And now that I am letting the Geek of the leash to wander through more topics I keep coming back to the question of range. Can I talk about ALLLLLL of the things that I geek out over in one blog or should I mix it up a bit? If I keep it all here do I do a separate page for different topics, specifically the Foodie items?

I ask myself these questions because I can not under state the range of my interests. And while that is a hallmark of being a geek, to have many and varied interests with a little overlap in the Venn Diagram of Life, would some really kick ass topics get lost in the broader scope of an all encompassing blog?

We are a passionate lot. Some might say wickedly zealous. And there are a good many topics which might well be better served with their own page, others even better suited to a wholenuther blog and some that just should not be handled because I only have a cursory involvement on the fringe of liking something. This blog, should everything that I am interested in be allowed a review, could quickly turn into black hole of information. No one would be able to find anything. My followers would not know what to expect. That is fine over at the Bloggess. But I am not the Queen of Randomosity™ that she is and the kind of mind chatter that makes her entertaining sounds glib or pushy when it comes out of me. And fake. Don't forget fake. I can't pull it off. I'm a bit more encyclopedic in that I like to be able to easily file, find and develop a topic with some semblance of order. Chaos is great as a means of civil protest but not so much in the sharing of interests.

I am very much on a foodie kick now that I am back in a house with a real kitchen and most all of my goodies are out of storage. I have no idea where the attachments for my stand mixer are. And I am missing a box of cake decorating supplies. But everything else is here and I am using it. And I am loving setting table again. I've got my head and stomach on a German food kick. Thank you Christine for sending me Lecker (October 2013) and the Lebkuchenherz. (among other things ;)) The idea of systemically going through the magazine like Julia and Julia is appealing. Then so is just doing a German blog. Each topic alone is worth its own blog. But do I have enough interest and material on hand, let alone the passion, to keep another blog going?

These are things that I will have to consider. And I will invite you all to join on at that blog if I get that up and going. In the mean time, I will add those articles in here as they are something that I will in fact Geek out about.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some early Reim to indulge in and a plate of Kräuter Mett Wurst to devour. Reim fans, if it has been a while since you've heard "von Fernen Sternen" I suggest you dig up a copy and give it a listen. Totally 80s. Totally awesome. Totally.

This is What They Mean When They Say to Be Yourself/Love What You Love & The Universe Will Manifest It

I think I should probably do a separate page for the food geek in me. It could take up quite a lot of space as I am about ready to squee senseless from the joy of receiving two cooking magazines in my goodie box from Germany.

Unendlich live CD, Midnight Mallorca Mix CD, a life changing book by
Hape Kerkeling, Mozart Kugeln and assorted lebkuchen, and two magazines
of German style cooking and baking

I have a wonderful pen pal. I've said it before. And I shall say it again. She is a thoughtful person and eager to share the things that she loves with other like minded people. One of those things that we love is the music of Matthias Reim. That fan frenzy is how we met. Online during the week of his release concert this year. We have a lot of other things in common, but Matthias is the main thing. There is not a feeling I can feel in which his music does not provide comfort or encouragement. It is all there. And really that is the best kind of music. When music, or any art, comes from a life lived fully and with the joys and sorrows that happen you have the best kind of music ever. And that is perhaps why modern American music annoys me: it really is about nothing. And not in a good Seinfeld way.

Between Sting and Matthias Reim, I should be all set with the emotional support to get through the rest of my life. Maybe. I'm one of those introverts that has a hard time with people and goes into seclusion. Then when I get bored of having to be my own company I come out of the cave guns a blazing and ready to tackle the world only to find myself tripping over the gun belt that has slipped off the hip because I do not really know what I am doing. And when I fall on my face I need someone to help me that can offer the help without judgment. Enter music. And German music is particularly helpful to me since no one around me will no what ails my heart. I can not be made fun of. I can not have my heart turned against me. It is perfect.

At work the guys always say that my radio is broken. I think I will just have to tell them that they need to upgrade their universal translators. But I don't want them to know that my heart is still heavy from the events involving Sir Knight. Nor do  I want them to know that their own brand of ugliness has gotten to me. Matthias can sing abut his heart being squished into a bloody pulp with a great dance beat behind it to disguise some of the anguish. And no one in that laundry room is the wiser for it. No one needs to know that I feel the way they want me to feel. No one need know that I am the Schwanenkönig and how keenly I feel the loss of their friendships.

And as always, Unverwundbar is my shield, Matthias my guardian angel and Über sieben Brücken is the courage to continue when I do not want to, there is light after the dark night, there is life after the ashes of despair. I know, two of those songs are not his. But his voice is the one that lends the conviction to them that allows me to take the message seriously. Lest you all thing it is all despair in my little corner of the world it is not. Matthias makes a great dance tune.

His is a soul that feels every feeling with passion. It is easy to ride the waves with him. It certainly feels safer than trying to navigate feelings without a guide. And now, thanks to my pen pal the collection is complete.

As I was getting ready to write this so that I could talk about German food and especially the baking, she wrote me to tell me a few things about the package. Which is funny because she prevents me then from asking her if she was sure she wanted to give me her copies. None of them were shrink wrapped so I assumed it was from her personal stash. She had two copies of the signed CD so one is mine now. The story of the Mallorca edition though has put me out of sorts. And I don't think that I will write about food now.

 

 



I've been trying to collect all the CDs. I have all but two of Sting's, all of the Monkees albums were re-released for their 40th anniversary. It is only fitting that I should strive for all of the albums from Matthias. Considering finances, I always put this one at the bottom of the list. And as luck would have it, the used dealer on Amazon ran out and could not get more. Amazon was out for a long time, so long that it seemed that maybe it was out of print. 7Leben caused a huge run on his work. And Unendlich depleted the rest of the supplies fairly well. As a matter of fact, Unverwundbar for a long time could not be had for less  than 100 Euro. Yikes! I love him but I still have to live.*

So I told my pen pal that I had everything but that CD. She said it was a minor CD and not really a must have. I told her that I had guessed as much. But the version of Hallelujah that I like the most is in the Midnight Show because it has the screaming violins and sounds like the kind of church music that makes dead popes roll in their graves. [This is obviously not what Matthias intended. It is how my particular brand of schadenfreude manifests itself. And a commentary on my opinion that better church music would keep more butts in the seats instead of driving people away. My opinion. And it could be wrong.] Obviously this is something that she remembered from many months ago.

She had the opportunity to help the family help Matthias' father downsize. As they were going through his personal belongings they came across 5 copies of this particular CD. He asked if she knew anyone who could use them.

And she did.

Complete.








*quick fact checking at amazon tells me that their supply of Matthias Reim anything is slim. They are down to hard copies of singles and only a few compilation albums... which I already have. No Mallorca.

Spread the Love

Hey folks,
It would seem that there are enough of you real people reading this to keep the spam stats lower than average. Yay you! Could you do me a favor and spread the love on the blog around a little? Google is sending people my way from the Eurozone and Google+ is helping a bit more than I thought. But I still have vampires, zombies and fake adsense topping the stats charts.

I know. I know. I know..... upgrade the security software. I have to make an appointment for that and for the next two weeks work has me running all over the place. I have to write a lot today and schedule posts to keep things fresh and fun.

Well fresh.

No. Fun too.

My pen pal sent me a package of goodies from Germany. I guess the cats had fun sitting on it while waiting for me to get home from work to open it. They played King of the Mountain. And it was not an easy mountain for two hefty cats to claim. Kudos to them for even trying. Funny thing is, once it was open and they saw there was nothing in it for them they left it alone. Didn't even dig around in the cookies. Of course if they were dogs that would have been a holenutther episode.

Anyway... pics to come. I am excited as I now have a complete Matthias Reim music collection and a DVD. Swooning commences in a few minutes. Lots of time translating ahead as there are two cooking magazines with the most delicious looking dishes in them. Oh..... wow. I hate that I will be so busy at work. I want to listen to new music, cook, bake and work on my German!!!! But I still have to pay the bills.

In the meantime keep coming back, share some posts, +1 some posts... your clicks are like garlic to spammy vampires. Um.... Spampires? Did I just make a new word? Yep. I did. Add that to your lexicons!!

Loving Living in the Future

Again, catching up on some blogs while I am writing out future entries in long form. It isn't a luddite maneuver but a classic delaying technique. It isn't because I don't want to write. I am writing a lot. It is because I am trying to gather material so that I can post regularly, have meaningful articles to share and get my head back into the blogging game. I delay for a purpose this time instead of delay out of fear. HUGE difference. Huge! (Did you read that in Matt Smith's voice? I hope you did. I wrote in in ;) ) At any rate, one of the delays in regular posts is due to a technical issue...

I am way over booked on material for the art blog as I have changed my policy to reflect an understanding about art that should really have been very obvious to me. And that is drawing a lot of attention from this blog. Though perhaps it should not. Still working that out. The other delay is that I found an article in one of those blogs I was catching up on about an app for the Windows Touch (also available in a desktop version) that I have not activated since I got the laptop last Fall. Which reminds me; I need to get a check up.

The app is Evernote. It is similar to Goggledocs in that it is a form of cloud computing. However it is a little easier for me to use and it syncs better across a variety of platforms. Or so the claims go. I like Googledocs. I am just not sure I want a lot in the Clouds. My aspirations are all ready there an we see how well that works for me. What I did not know when I activated the app was that it was cloud computing. I thought that I was adding something to my hard drive. Silly me. I should know better; after all most all that we do is going to be done over the internet and not on hard data storage in a few short years. I guess this is how we are going to live with it.

At any rate Evernote is pretty damn good. And it comes with a fun little partner called skitch which is a separate download/activation. I had hoped that it would let me do my own quick meme kinds of work but I think that I have to have premium service for that. I do like the Skitch/Evernote combo a lot.

So much so that I might consider entering the cloud once the laptop sees the Geek Squad. Something I did with the antivirus software didn't work. So I need to get things cleaned up and then we will be good to go. Which will keep the spammers out of my status updates. But it will also allow me to be a far more prolific writer.

That being said I think that delay in regular posting is worth it. And I will have to make a confession here. One of my worst habits as a writer is buying a notebook(or 4) for every project, stashing the notebook somewhere and losing track of the stash (losing my brain) and thus losing the project. A notebook for every project is a sound organizational concept. Otherwise I would have a billion and a half ideas crammed into a dozen or so notebooks like da Vinci's and it would be as indecipherable. There would be a grocery list along side a materials list written over with a quote from Doctor Who; a random name scribbled in the bottom margin of either a real or imaginary person with no indication of which it would have been; a random rant about politics; a note to myself to tweak a recipe and of course ramblings in German language which is either me trying to get a Matthias Reim lyric out of my head/into my head or testing out an insult to throw at someone all dashed about on pages and pages of sketches.... I'd look like a madwoman. Or..... some art history student in the future would go mad trying to figure out what the hell "Verdammt ich lieb dich ich lieb dich nicht" has to do with a Hungarian needlework flower. The answer would be nothing. But how is that poor student to know? And if I can't decipher my own intentions when I look at those pages a mere 4 months later.... well....

And how do you carry an entire high school career's worth of notebooks to every coffee shop or shady park and not look like a complete idiot? You don't. And the strain on your back and shoulders is just not worth it. That is why, I think, most writers and persons like da Vinci kept to home like hermits on a mountain in Tibet. It's too much bother to cart all that about. Much easier to stay home and scribble away in your hovel amassing stacks and stack of ledgers. Of course it is also very likely that mountain of collected works will topple and crush you to death while 47 cats mill about waiting for the supper that would never come.... but I digress. Again.

Enter Evernote. I love living in the future. Evernote can be an entire high school, college, graduate, post grad and doctorate career's worth of notes all on your laptop because it is stored in this mysterious nebula of information. It promises productivity increases. But first I need to really understand how the whole thing works. Should be a short learning curve. And then Geekdom will be off an running with lots of good content. Or... I will get lots of practice writing.

One word of caution though. Evernote is a cloud service. It does require really good security protection. And you need to keep up on your updates. You can encrypt things so that if you are working on the next big novel, the one that makes JK Rowling uneasy about her position in literary history, you can keep it safe for yourself until it is ready for a publisher. If you don't encrypt it could be a disaster. Evernote warns you of such. And I suggest taking the warning seriously. If spammers can get through a firewall they can sift through the clouds to steal your seeds of genius.

Living in the future takes a little getting used to. And it comes with as many pitfalls as living in the past. In the end though it must all be worth it if it helps us each to realize our potentials.

An Oasis in the Chaos

So while the world is busy falling apart around our ears some people are calm and composed enough to continue to do what they love to do. September 24th Sting releases a new album entitled "the Last Ship". I got to hear some of it previewed on his website. Sounds to me like the sequel to "Soul Cages". And today Spotify notifies me that Sir Paul McCartney has released a new album and the first single, "New" was available to listen to tonight.

Music Geeks rejoice! The Masters are back at it and as strong as ever.

And I suppose there is a lesson to be learned in all of this talent. And of course, it comes from the Brits: KEEP CALM & DO WHAT YOU DO BEST. Sir Paul, Sting and Matthias will keep making music no matter what happens in the rest of the world.

Random Adventures About Town

 

 

The Traverse City State Hospital was built in 1911... or established in 1911. The history is almost irrelevant today as I am mainly enthralled by today's adventure. A friend of mine and I went up today to toddle around and take pictures of the patina and decay before the reclamation process makes it all shiny and new again. The place has character in any state of existence, it has a story for almost every resident of our fair city. But today was about the design  and the patterns of life etched across those designs. If anything could stand as a symbol for change this is the place. Since my friend is moving on to other things in her young life it seemed the right way to celebrate her changes.

 

After traveling the exterior footprints of the remaining buildings we arrived back where we started and finished the adventure with a wonderful Italian meal made by authentic Italian transplants here. The various stages of construction flowed from one design aesthetic to the other. Some places bore an Italianate design as is fitting since the developers are Italian. Others had a decidedly Dutch/German/Scandanavian face. In several spots I thought that we were on the grounds of a glorious European castle.... or at least could fake it well for a while.

 

My thoughts kept returning to the Gothic architecture and the things in my art history class that are fading without constant use, my heart kept turning back to the idea that I need to get to Germany. Drawn almost inexplicably, the desire to go does not diminish. And this façade did nothing to ease the desires....

 

For whatever reason this octagonal bay protruding into an almost enclosed courtyard seemed to me the most German face on any of the building. Simple, strong design, clean lines and honestly, one of the best looking of the older buildings and stark in its contrasts just seemed to say Middle Germany. Maybe not middle ages Europe. But Middle Germany. The only thing that is missing here is a couple of swans swimming in a moat or a pond with Willow trees framing the picture. Matthias' Schwanenkönig played in my head while Sarah and I blithely snapped picture after picture.

 

Coming around one corner at the right of this picture we found gables in dire need of restoration but still beautiful in its state of decay...

This reminded me of the canal houses along the rivers and in the ports of just about every country touching the North Sea. I t needs so much care and attention. With its great bones still in tact, and amazingly, with its gingerbread still held aloft, the character and rich tradition of craftsman ship that was once part of our American heritage is evident still. With the weathered textures and crumbling blocks that heritage's European roots show. And knowing that Europe protects and honors its cultural heritage far better than we do here, I think is what made me think of Europe, Germany all night.

As we left we heard parts of an open air concert on the lawn behind Building 50, the State Hospital's most recognized sector. How wonderfully weird it would have been to have had the power to blend all my interests in that moment and have Matthias here on the grounds or put Building 50 in Europe at one of his up coming venues. I would love a time when all of my weird interests could collide in a spectacular revel.

 

Alas... that will have to wait for the dreamscape.

 

I learned a few things about me and my ambitions tonight while talking with Sarah.

I learned about my shortcomings in the skills department. The panoramic setting still escapes me and the composite image about shows me I need to work on those skills.

 

I have plenty of Summer sunlight left to practice.

And plenty of Life to work those ambitions out.

 

But for now I must go to bed. Its' been a long three days and I am overly tired. If I do not dream of dragons, unicorns and rampant lions tonight I will be surprised.

General Quarters: All Hands to Battle Stations!

The klaxons have been going off in my body for a while now. From the moment that I started the process of forcing my brother to finish up the terms of Dad's will with a lawyer of my own, my body has been telling me that there are Romulans to Port and Klingons to Starboard. I can not see an enemy vessel in my vicinity. What that usually means then is that the attack is spiritual in nature.

Someone I love is going to need my emotional support and any positive energy for defense and encouragement that I can send. I hate that. I hate it because that means someone that I love is going to need to go through one of those horrible life experiences that build character. It is always a lot of pain. And while the pain is as temporary and fleeting as a bit of gas following baked beans it still stinks to high heaven. And there is almost nothing that I can ever do to prevent it.

And I don't know who is suffering. I can not help. And yet the red alerts have been going off for a year now. So for a long time I expected to hear Matze would divorce. That is something that my righteously indignant self can rally behind to send comforting energy. But there is not any reason to think that will happen. Thankfully he seems to have found in Sarah the best match of his life. Which is great because he truly has had to suffer enough at the hands of the fickle. So then I thought that maybe the doom that falls next would be something with my sister. I've been out of contact with her for almost  year because she lost technical support.

But no. She is back up and running and the whole family is great and there have not been any issues. And she has filled me in on all I've missed from the people on her end who I do like but do not keep in touch with. And they all seem to be doing great. So this sense of doom that has been lurking around me seems definitely to come from the realm of "Things that I am a Fan of".

Which meant that my heart dropped when Randy Travis went into the hospital last week. You would think if that was it that when the announcement was made, having identified the possible cause for that warning that the warning would stop. It is not stopping. Matze is fine. Randy is doing better. There is nothing on the radar of possible heartache or physical pain for Armitage, Cumberbatch, Tennant, Smith or anyone else that has captured my attention so intensely. Wheatons are doing great. So what is it?

What is making me feel defensive? What is making my batleth hand twitch for action?

The last time I felt this cagey was the week leading up to September 11. And nothing about that last time felt personal. Something terrible is headed my way and I can not see what it is.

Obsessions

They are part and parcel of geek life. Most of mine are healthy obsessions, outlets for creativity or inspiration for my art work. I am not one of those people who likes fan fiction. I wrote my share when I was younger. When I realized that all I was creating was 1 new friend and 1 or 2 new enemies for the Enterprise-D and just parroting the crew I gave up. Not because it wasn't good to exercise my writing muscles, but because they were not the stories that wanted to come out of me. And the stories that want out are taking their time getting here. But that is fine. They will come when they are ready.
I am however one of those people who likes to learn all there is about the thing for which I am a fan and to experience the creative fan love of other fans.

My latest obsession, if I haven't mentioned it before, is Richard Armitage. And as usual, I find none of my immediate geek friends even know who I am talking about... until we mention the Hobbit. But apparently in my little recessed corner of Geekdom, because Thorin is not the hot bodied character that the elves or Aragorn are no one has noticed him. Of course I notice him because I spent 3 seasons drooling over Guy Gisbourne. But I can't seem to convince my girlfriends a. that he really isn't a dwarf, b. that if he is a dwarf he is the tallest one in history, c. that of all the dwarves he is the cutest one and that d. no actor is ever the sum of a single role and he totally deserves a thorough look see. To prove my point, I posted this picture from the internet (I honestly have not figured out how to link back to anyone. So should the copyright holder like to come forward I will gladly give proper attributions)

I guess since I have not been terribly persuasive I will have to enjoy his artistry along with the fans in other parts of the world who think that I am slow to board the Armitage Train. And thus I am brought back to one of the prickly parts of the Geek puzzle: how? how is it that I am so alone in my obsessions?

 I know that I do not comprise the entirety of the Armitage Army, I am not the only RDA fan on the planet. But apparently in my little corner of Michigan I am the only Matthias Reim fan and the only Richard Armitage fan and the only one who can watch BBC programs and recognize character actors on sight. Oh, did I mention that I have a horrible habit of listing a nearly complete filmography in the processs of OMG OMG OMG OMG-ing?  I did get my roommate to join me on the last few episodes of Robin Hood. And while she concurs that he is the most likeable and sympathetic of Gisbournes, this is not her kind of TV. Which might mean that I will have to have her watch North and South. Between the two of us we might have all the most recent versions of English Lit on Film. So that would be worth sitting through. Can't help it, I love a good swashbuckler.

In my expanded geek circles, the circle that encompasses the group of friends I had in high school who went some where outside of Michigan to seek their fortunes it is quite a different story. I was the only trekkie in the group. But I am not alone in my love of British TV.... except that I am still the only one on this side of the pond who actually knows who Jeremy Brett is and mourns his loss even with the wonderful new Holmes that we have in Benedict Cumberbatch.

I guess that is always going to be the way of the Geek. The Venn Diagram just can't cover everything and everyone. But does that center shape have to be so friggin empty? Who knows, may be by being the geek that I am and loving the things that I love the way that I do and without apology, without hiding it from family who will not understand, I will meet more people who share the things that I love. And the magic will happen with the gift of the Internet if it will not happen with the blessing of physical proximity.

At any rate, if you have never met one of his characters you do yourself a disservice. He is wonderfully in tune with every character that he has portrayed that I have seen. It is said that once in character he does not come out of character until filming is over. That kind of dedication to the craft is very much evident and makes him all the more valuable in an ensemble. And he is also one of the most fan-friendly stars. It seems to be the way of the non-American types. If you get a chance to meet him, be respectful of his time. But at least smile and send a cheerful wave of support his way. People don't like to have tea interrupted or be groped by strangers, but a show of solidarity is always good karma for both parties.

Well off to find more RA videos on You Tube. Guy and the Sheriff mashed with Pinky and Brain is priceless.

Narf!

Herlichen Glückwunsch!

This year's ECHO winner for Schalger star is not Matthias Reim. Sadface. It is Peter Maffay. If Matze couldn't have it, I am glad that Peter has it. I don't know the criteria for this particular award, so I don't know how close the race between the contestants actually was. Many well wishers on Matze's Facebook page stated it perfectly: We don't need an award to tell us how wonderful a performer he is.

Peter Maffay has been at this for nearly as long as Matze. I first heard his music on that cassette I mentioned before. "Sonne in der Nacht"... it's beautiful and heartwarming. And I always smile when I hear it. I think that he is the one who originated Über Seben Brücken. It has become quite the concert favorite. Everyone knows it. And while I love Matze, and I love the version on the Unendlich album, I do think that Maffay's 2010 version is spectacular. In fact, I have seen some footage where they perform together live. It would be nice it they could get together and do some studio work.

Of course, just because I would like that to happen, doesn't mean that it will. or that anyone is even thinking about doing it. But I also think that a duet with Sting would be a good idea. That will
probably never happen but I can dream.

Unendlich

Unendlich means "infinite", "infinitely" or "infinity", "endless", "endlessly" or "unending". It's one of those very straightforward German words  that is undoubtedly rooted in Latin. It is the name of Matthias Reim's new album. I wish that I knew how to take this album. My German fails me in this regard.

The album was released on the 25th of January.... I think that I have mentioned that. He gave a release concert in Berlin on the 23rd. It was wonderful. I didn't understand much of the conversation that he had with the audience. But I did understand the body language and facial expressions when he sang "wir sind Unendlich". It sounded like a "goodbye I'll always love you" song. Many of the songs on the album are sad. They aren't depressing, they are introspective. And there is a kind of emotion in the music that is hard to define. Perhaps I can not define it because I do not want to believe what my intuition tells me. Perhaps I can not define it because it comes from a very German part of the heart and soul that I am out of touch with. I am German. But I was raised here in the States where we miss a lot of things in the pursuit of money and maintaining World Power Status. And I think that it is there that true meaning in the lyrics for these songs lies. There were many tears in the audience.

It was as if a switch had flipped. We went from a high energy power rock vibe to" huddled under a blankie" sentimentality. With one song he stripped the German stoicism from the audience and laid everything bare. I hope that this is not his retirement album. It does seem to feel that way though it is too soon to tell because I haven't done the translation work that I want to. My best hope is that since nothing on the website indicates it is the last album that Matze will go on.

He has to go on. Unendlich introduces us to a genre of music that many politely ignore otherwise. He is a fan of Öst Rock. In the States we unforgivingly call it Commie Rock. Not because it espouses the values of said political mindset, we call it that because it comes from some place east of Democracy. Öst Rock is the folk music of a people cut off from its home by outside government forces without regard to the whole cloth of the German culture. It retains the use of traditional instruments but uses them in ways more consistent with the Hungarian classical composers and nomadic gypsies to add layers of depth to the hard rock elements. Öst Rock, more so than the West German rock bands, shares elements with American steel town/East Coast industrial groups like Bon Jovi and Aerosmith. And in Europe, because Berlin and East Germany were for so long held back by an iron curtain, it is an under appreciated art form.

Als ich Fortging belongs to a band called Karrussel. Karrussel is an Öst rock band. It first appeared on a Reim album in 2007, Unverwundbar. It is beautiful, brings me to tears every time. And since it was so well received, I believe that is why he chose to explore this genre on this album. He covers 5 or 6 songs from various groups on Unendlich. And they are wonderful. Beautifully haunting.... especially Am Fenster. And I think that he has made me a fan of Öst Rock. And amazingly, I might actually sit down and purposefully listen to Bon Jovi.... who knew?

My only complaint so far is that the new stuff is not on Spotify so that I can share it with you guys and the concert version of Ganz Egal is not on the album. That is one of my favorite songs ever (I know it by heart and what it means). But the new version is my favorite of all of them. I feel a lot younger listening to that song than when I listen to the original ballad version.

Best Album ever! And, as I predicted, it hit the number one spot within 2 weeks knocking Andrea Berg from her throne. Way to go Matze!

A New Year and a New Outlook

Depression is often my closest companion in the months leading up to Christmas. And by that I mean close like a suffocating plastic bag over my mouth and companion like every bully I ever had in school rolled into one super destructive force. It starts in August when the history of loss begins. And it never really stops until the Sol makes it 's presence more prominent about this time of the year after months of being curled in the fetal position when I am not at work. This year there was no fetal fits that lasted days on end. A few days it did seem like I was waiting for the sky to fall. But nothing so frightfully traumatic as last year or the year before. Two things can be credited with the ease of my survival this Winter...

Music and Support

I know that I have gone on and on about how music heals; the composer is a kindred spirit because they have already processed a similar event and are either commiserating or guiding. How music gives our minds something to do besides rehash the thing that consumes us and leads us into the dark demonic woods of depression. And I will say again that one of the reasons that I really like the schlager musik is that it takes me out of my American mindset. First because I have to really pay attention and engage in the music instead of leave it in the background where it becomes just noise. And second, because with Matthias Reim, in particular, he has the kind of voice that can be background music without being ignored. His voice is so expressive that I can have him sitting on my shoulder as a guardian angel or in my fast like a drill sergeant trying to get my fat butt over he mountains on a long hike. He sounds in turn like a sage father, wise teacher, patient counselor, a bar buddy or the guy with the knee weakening voice you want to take home with you. In America I think that it is exceedingly rare to have someone who can be all those things in the music. Sting is close. And Billy Joel to some extent. But the music itself all starts to sound the same after a while.... white noise.

But with some of the pittance I got when my brother was done with the estate I sent away for music. Apparently the angry open letter to the Universe and EMI and whoever else was listening worked. Amazon now has the ability to convert USD to Euros and worked out the shipping issues. Yea! So I replaced more of the CDs that went missing. Got one that I never had. And pre-ordered the new one which Matze's website this time did not tell me was impossible. Unmoeglich is goofy enough sounding that I don't get too upset when it shows up... but it was always so disappointing to see. No more!!!!!!! Of course I can't win any of the offers because I am overseas.... really who has a couple of thousand dollars to drop what they are doing and hop a transatlantic flight to go see a concert being offered with only 3 days to make plans? I get it. But it would have been nice to be able to win the autobiography. At any rate... the music is here.

And it has helped tremendously. Unverwundbar, invincible, invulnerable or impenetrable, is one of the healing albums. I don't know which marriage that it followed. It doesn't matter. In the title track you find strength. He has set boundaries. And with those boundaries, intentional and otherwise, he isn't going to fall for the same old crap that he always fell for (though in Unberechenbar he will declare that no matter what happens when she moves on he knows she will still want him. Who hasn't been there?) because he will not fall in love. He also declares "Men are stupid" (a ground pleasing call/response portion of a MR concert), a statement that I can get behind. In "Als ich fortging" everything goes to shit when he goes away, every time he leaves some catastrophe befalls his life. Been there. In "Wie Man Liebt" he explains why men and women can't always connect on a love level... men are taught to make war, care about science and math they are taught strength and power but not love and tenderness. Makes total sense to me. "L'amour s'en va"... When love goes....
I think that you see where I am going with this.

All that I am feeling is in this music. He lives. He survives. Every time someone knocks him down he gets back up. And he is thriving. A lesson there. He is someone that you can have walk your walk with you and feel encouragement in the phrase "life goes on" not the dust off that you get from others who are too busy for you. With a CD he is never too busy, he won't tell me to go off and do my own thing while he does his and see what happens later. Matze has his life. I have mine and I never feel left alone. I do feel lonely. But that isn't the same as being left alone to sort out your own crap because you are too much for someone to deal with. I miss my last boyfriend and feel sad that the promise of continued friendship is not fulfilled to a common standard. I miss Sir Knight. I miss my dad. I count all the mistakes that I make at work, with relationships, with family. I count the missteps. I count all the lies that I have been told... and then I have to have the music because something has to keep my mind busy on happy things.

And then there is the support system.
We are our own first line of defense. But when that doesn't work there are others. My therapist is awesome. Sometimes I think all I am paying her for is t be my cheerleader. I might feel bad about that. But if it is true that it takes 7 positive things to wipe out 1 bad thing that you have been told then I guess I am getting my monies worth. And it doesn't matter why or how I hear some things. There are things that I have to be reminded of.

• I deserve to be healthy
• Boundaries are okay
• I am loveable & deserve to be loved
• My talents should not be hidden

for starters. And then there is the life coach that I saw for a while. I got some very good information on how to change some things, short cuts to help me get around myself. And then there is also the encouragement to take back my life.

My facebook community had brought old friends closer and made friends out of old classmates that I didn't get to know before. Every.........




edit: every once in a while Blogger decides to impersonate our schools old computers and eat half of my homework. Sorry.... this post ends really abruptly and for the life of me I can not remember how this one was supposed to end. But I do know now why a couple of people aren't talking to me any more.  Hmmm.....

Open Letter to the Verse: A Thank you

Dear Verse,
Remember how I got really mad that the Germans kept blocking videos on Youtube on "copy right grounds" because somehow it is completely unacceptable to share music fanhood across arbitrarily drawn lines on a map? And how stupid I said that it was that with a global economy Amazon wouldn't sell anything from the German catalog because I wasn't actually in Germany? Well, I don't know what you did, who's ear you had to tweak to make things happen, but you did it. So I want to say thank you.

Somehow the message got through that the world is bigger than the map hanging on someone's wall. Because I have been the very happy recipient of some very nice presents courtesy of myself. Since Christmas eve I have been listening to and nearly wearing out my new Matthias Reim CDs. And with the new website up at www.matthiasreim.net I am even more excited to have "unendlich". Amazon assures me it will ship in February. Just in time to see me through the horrible season of Valentines Day and the onslaught of Spring Fever.

And it is this new concert season that makes me remember to thank you. I think that this album will be as wildly popular as the last. And I think that only encourages Matze to keep making more music. And after the discussion that I had with a couple of coworkers about my music proclivities and the very narrow scope of the male population that interests me I think that you and I both know I need him. I need him to keep making more music because there are not enough people of my type within throwing distance. Without new music I feel a bit lost. And I miss an old friend a lot these days. Matze takes the sting out of that failure.

I also think that we both know that I have another request. You, the Verse, have been gracious enough to get me the little things that make me happy. Now I need a big thing. Verse, we have to find a way to get me to Germany. To see, hear, feel, taste, touch and experience the land of my forefathers has always been something that I have wanted since I was young. Verse.... please, for the love of all things possible and impossible....

make it so.

Open Letter to the Verse

After all the ranting and raving I did on the subject of the stupidity of there being borders in a global economy that technology is able to leap in great cosmic bounds, you, Universe, have heard me. And apparently you agree with me that when information can be shipped via broadband there is no reason to keep the music I like out of my reach. And as an agent for change, Amazon.de has finally figured out how to get me my tunes on time and without the extortionist prices of a third party "collectibles" dealer. There is now, on its way to me, a shipment of Matthias Reim CDs straight outta Deutschland. The much covetted Unverwundbar (less than 8.00 EUR), Die Grosse Weihnachts Party and Hitbox. 

Amazon and my bank now will let me make international purchases. How will taxation work? I don't know. I am waiting to see how that goes before I go overbaord and replace the rest of what was stolen two years ago. Or get new stuff. Though I did pre-order the NEW ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes.

So thank you for listening. Thank you for agreeing. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that no one figures out how to stab me with my own wishes.

Herzlichen Gluckwunsch zum Geburtstag Matze!

french styled macaroons from Simply Cupcakes of Traverse City
 

Celebrating birthdays is fun when they are not your own. I hate my own birthday so I turn the attention to Mozart that day. And birthday celebrations just remind us that we have someone truly special in our lives without whom things would be dull, lifeless or just plain boring. So I throw a little party for one and send out this open letter to Matze.



Ihre Musik macht mein schweres Herz leichter. Ich hatte mich selbst gefunden stürmischen Gewässern innerhalb einer Beziehung. Hoffnungen wurden enttäuscht. Confusion gesetzt in. ich mich, "wie konnte ich missverstanden haben" gefragt. Die Zeichen waren klar. Er sagte, dass er mich wollte. Er erzählte unsere Freunde, er wollte mich. Dennoch war mein Herz in Knoten verdreht ... gebrochen kalt und leer.

Jetzt muss ich auch meine glücklichen Ort zu finden. Ich wandte mich dann an die Musik, die ich in der Schule kannte. Um Youtube! Während ich die bekannten Lieder von meinem alten Mixed Tape gesucht, fand ich eine interessante Ikone ... ein Herz in einem verschlossenen Kette gebunden. Ich klickte. Der Song gestartet. Von der ersten Musik-Note wurde ich neugierig. Von der ersten Note, die Sie sang, war es zu lieben. Viermal Ich hörte, ohne zu sehen Video. Das fünfte Mal sah ich. Ich wusste, dann waren wir Seelenverwandtschaft.

Das Lied? Lebenslänglich. So begann die Besessenheit. Ich musste all Ihre Musik, die ich finden konnte, haben. Schnell ersetzen Sie die anderen: Herbert Grönemeyer, Spider Murphy Gang, Geier Sturzflug, Paola, Munchener Freiheit und ja ... vor allem Roland Kaiser. Ich auf dich hören ausschließlich.

Das war im Mai 2010, nachdem mein valentine Massacre. Jetzt sind fast drei Jahre später mein Herz ist warm und klar. Ihre Musik erfüllt mich mit Licht. Meine Seele tanzt auf jeden Ton. Mit Ihrer Musik ... ich bin unverwundbar.

Danke. Und heute, an deinem Geburtstag, ich wünsche Ihnen alles Friede, Freude und Glück, das Sie geben, um wieder zu euch kommen. Und mit dem neuen Album Konzertreise Ich wünsche Ihnen viel Gesundheit.

immer und ewige
Sherry


in English

Your music makes my heavy heart light. I had found myself in stormy waters within a relationship. Hopes were dashed. Confusion set in. I asked myself, "how could I have misunderstood".The signs were clear. He said that he wanted me. He told our friends that he wanted me. Yet my heart was twisted in knots ... broken cold and empty.

Now I need to find my happy place again. I turned to the music which I knew in high school. To Youtube! While I searched for the familiar songs from my old mixed tape, I found an interesting icon ... a heart tied in a locked chain. I clicked. The song started.  From the first note I was curious. From the first note you sang, it was love. Four times I heard the music without wathcing the video. The fifth time I watched it. I knew we were kindred.

The song? Lebenslanglich. Thus began the obsession. I had to have all of your music that I could find. Quickly you replaced the others: Herbert Grönemeyer, Spider Murphy Gang, Geier Sturzflug, Paola, Munchener Freiheit and yes ... especially Roland Kaiser. I listen to you exclusively.

That was in May 2010, after my valentine Massacre. Now almost three years later, my heart is warm and clear. You rmusic fills me with light. My soul is dances to every note. With your music ... I am invulnerable.

Thank you. And today on your birthday I wish you the peace, joy and happiness that you give, to come back to you. And with the new album concert tour I wish you good health.

always and forever
Sherry

A Collection

One of these things doesn't belong here. One of these things jsut isn't the same.

And you can play two ways. One CD is not Matthias Reim. And one CD is not music but it is Matthias Reim.

Today was day three of my vacation. And for a very pleasant surprise, the mailman delivered four of the CDs you see here. Sensationell, Wolkenreiter and Morgenrot which replace some of the seven that were stolen a few years ago and 10 Jahre Intensiv which is new to me.

It's been a great vacation day. I have missed these CDs. Matze has a great range of performing styles. And I love all of them. Ahem, even the country songs. Sensationell and Wolkenreiter are my favorite to relax with. There are quite a few toe tappers. But its the slow songs that make these albums for me, especially "Ich denk on Dich". From Wolkenreiter I prefer "komm ich nehm' dich mich", "mein herz ist kein hotel", "ich vermiss dich" and the title track.

Vermiss dich always makes me cry. It's one of the first songs that I heard that I didn't have to look up half the words. I knew what the song was about from the start. It was a song that helped deal with Sir Knight in our initial catastrophic failure. I love this music. As with Sting, he is a masterful storyteller and encourager during Life's troubles and the Heart's aches. They are songs that come from experience. And as much as I love these songs, I really hope that he is done having heart ache. Someone who has been through so much should sing more songs for joy like "nie mehr ohne Engel" and "Lebenslaenglich" and of course last year's Christmas album.

And maybe somehow, with the funny way that the Universe works, he will be able to do a project with Sting. How awesome would that album be!?!?!?!?!?!