What a Day

I think we lost someone around a sharp corner. To the unknown follower who has left our ranks in the last few weeks, I bid you peace. To those who have stuck around.... I thank you.

The timing is rather suspect and I think that sharp turn I made on G+ regarding the chasing of uninterested females on hangout might have done it. But that is ok. If it was the guy that got mad at me for not wanting to pick up my whole life after 3 emails then I am really no worse off than before. In fact, I probably saved myself a lot of bother. The communication was beginning to smack of falsehood. Most likely another scam artist. Kudos to him for not being obvious about it.

So this is my second "day off" this week. I had a full honest to goodness day of rest this week. Today I came home early because I am not up to par. Not sure what illness has beset me but I am freezing and it's rather on the warm side. For being home most of today I am absolutely beat.

Politics and World News is ramping up my hamster wheel. Apparently this idiot thinks that we can work forever without taking time off. Next on the chopping block should be Federal Holidays, Religious Holidays and the over turning of the Family Care Act. It only stands to reason that this Lady Violet wannabe should reduce everyone to the status of the peasants he believes everyone to be. After all, it's the totalitarian thing to do. Someone really needs to teach this guy how to salute and how not to salute. His Third Reich is showing. And people are worried about Bernie Sanders ushering in a new Communist America.

Speaking of Bernie Sanders. I think it is important for these voting Americans to get some facts straight. Socialism and Communism are not the same thing. If they were then Socialist Britain would not have been worried about Communist Russian or Dictatorial Germany blowing the warmth out of their tea. One can not even really argue that Socialism is the gateway to Communism. If it were then all of the EU would have declared itself Communist and not one eyebrow would waggle in Ol'Vladdie's direction over the Ukraine issue. The election is a full year away and the Bullshit is spreading faster than gossip in a church pew.

I think Bernie is ridiculously optimistic that he and Elizabeth Warren can overthrow the Corporations that had the Supreme Court declare their business entities human in 1995. But if I am given the choice between ridiculously optimistic and the status quo I am going to go with ridiculously optimistic. If he can overthrown the totalitarian corporations that are trying to strangle all of us commoners with the very same benefits they had as they were enjoying as up and comers and learning how to take over the world then more power to him.

Confederate Flag Nonsense is still Raging on Facebook. Do these people have any concept whatsoever of intellect? Fans of the Dukes of Hazzard are reacting to TVLand as if they had just murdered Bo & Luke Duke instead of removing a poorly done show. Just because it was popular doesn't make it good. We had 3 damn networks back then and nothing in the other networks' time slots was worth watching. It was a dumb show with a catchy tune. But let's hate on TVLand.

Of course TVLand's reactionary stance doesn't help anything. One article made a good point, Hogan's Heroes is still on despite the slathering of Nazi symbols all over the place. Of course, anyone who has ever seen the show knows that it is a typical good guys v. bad guys sitcom with America being the good guys. Except poor Hilde, she was just Loni Anderson in pigtail braids and a peasant blouse.

The Confederate Flag might mean a lot of things. It may have meant something honorable at some point. But when all anyone sees is the bad it might be time to revamp the PR. One side argues it is a Patriotic symbol. The other side argues it is a racist symbol. From my vantage point Upnorth where the Confederate Flag is as popular a pennant at Muddin' Holes and Tractor Pulls as the Union Jack is anywhere in Britain, everyone is missing the point. It ceased to be a symbol of Confederacy when it became the symbol if Idiocy. Every redneck flies this outdated pattern as an excuse to behave as badly, recklessly and without thought to consequence as them Duke Boys. The main difference between the Duke Boys and every other redneck is that the Dukes were sober.

And yes, I have a prejudice. And no, I do not think that I am going to work on getting rid of it. There is a huge difference between being a little bit country and a lot redneck. The main difference is a lack of thought process and the complete disregard for those who are around them. Low class doesn't always mean poor. The poor are not always low class. But I haven't seen anyone up my way fly this flag that had any class at all. And that is where my prejudice lies.

Everyone looks like a skittle. Following the SCOTUS ruling regarding gay marriage, everyone has lost their marbles. On the one hand "Yay do what you want!" on the other hand are the lectures about what our founding fathers would do. WWoFFD?

The short answer is that they would pack up and head off to the nearest parcel of seemingly unoccupied land, finding it really is occupied they would start a war, plant their collective asses on someone else's land, declare independence and start a whole new country. What they did not do was stay where they were being oppressed and wail through gnashed teeth while wringing their hands about the end of the world. THEY MOVED!!!!!!!!

Not only did they move, they declared that NO ONE WOULD EVER TELL THEM HOW TO BELIEVE AGAIN. The United States was founded not by what would have been the Christian right (though I do not doubt that those who would fall under the modern header, the Pilgrims, were here first) but by Unitarians. UNITARIANS. The ultimate live and let live dissenters toward organized religion wrote our rule!  They left England and other parts of Europe because the Church was getting a bit heavy handed with the way that it owned, co-opted, bought or stole Royal seats. They came here and declared that no religion would dictate their lives. They came here with a decided, collective idea that the State and the Church should never be bed fellows.

But here we go with the Christian Right lamenting the corruption of the founding father's intention. What corruption? Unitarians, ONE STEP ABOVE ATHEISTS (because at least they tend to believe there is a higher power even if they won't call it God, Yahweh, Jehovah, Christ, Buddah, Allah, Steve) in the "spiritual hierarchy" (which doesn't exist), built this country. Unitarians, by comparison to the Christian Right are heathens themselves. Heathens in respectable clothing built America.

So let's get all mad at the rainbow profiles and declare that the country has veered far enough away from what the Founding Fathers intended as to require a rapture to fix it.

Everyone has lost their mind.

Another Chicken and Egg Problem

Have seen a bunch of articles on feminism and why it hurts men lately. I have also seen a spate of memes in which it is suggested that if girls would act like ladies men would be gentlemen. My favorite image is this one which was attached to some Dr. Laura pages. On the surface this is a little kitschy, a bit clever and thought provoking. The thought that it provoked in me was this:

 

What comes first the gentleman or the lady? Is a woman a lady because a man is a gent? Is a man a gent because a woman is a lady? It really is a bit of a chicken and an egg question. But then something else was provoked.... anger.

 

 

How very 50s. How very Stepford. How very typical to make a Woman's behavior the crux of the issue. At least that seems to be what this picture and its text are saying. Why not the reverse? Why not wonder if men would be willing to be gentlemen, more women would feel challenged to be ladies?

 

Feminism exits as a backlash against centuries of oppression and repression. You can be a lady and have an education. Unless you live in most Middle Eastern countries today, Asian and Pacific Rim countries a few decades back, Victorian England and Industrial America. South America and Africa have not been forgotten. I know little about my southern neighbors and all I know about Africa is too grizzly to think about beyond Oprah opening a few schools so girls can have an education.

 

You an be a lady and cast a vote based on either an educated or uneducated opinion, the same as every man. It is foolish to think that because a man could vote, he was smarter. There are idiots of each gender and those idiots have valid voter IDs. Until the early 1900s, the only idiots who were allowed to vote were men.

 

You can be lady-like and study religion. Throughout most of recorded history after Roman conquest the only religious authority given  woman was what she could get away with and not be called a witch.... until a man got mad. Hildegard of Bingen, Joan of Arc to name but two.

 

You can be a lady and be a scientist.



You can be a lady and be in business for yourself or in the upper echelons of major corporations.
You can be a lady and a lawyer, barrister for our friends in the UK.
You can be a lady and be anything you want to be....
... if a man gives you permission.

And that is oppression. The idea that a man can do what he will because he is a man is idiotic, as we have proven over an over again. The contribution of women in the economic sector during WWII is evidence of that. Was every woman who entered the workforce perfect at it? No. But then not every man who worked was perfect at his job either. Hence the Quality Control departments. Was every woman who worked through the war cut out to keep it up when her man got home? Of course not. But there are a lot of men who seem to think they don't have to perform to the same standards as their counterparts. And they kept their jobs. To this day many a man is rewarded for slacking off, under producing and is allowed to keep his job because... well it's his. Not saying chicks don't get away with it. I experience that first hand.

The problem isn't men versus women.
The problem is a systematic rewarding of mediocrity in both genders. The problem is that we give lip service to feminism when we give it service at all. Girls can do whatever they want, whatever they imagine... just like boys. But when the kids of either gender won't step up to the work load either in education or work, and cry until they are rewarded for the weakest of contributions instead of being encouraged first to dig in and find the wherewithal to compete, or find the field in which their ability and interests match to inspire participation and competition, the whole fabric of society is weakened.

Your top level producers, unless motivated by greed or intense gain, cease to strive as hard. If everyone is rewarded equally and does not produce equally there is no incentive. Communism failed in Cold War Russian on this leg of its principles. Mediocre producers who struggle to keep up either due to disinterest or poorly matched skills set to job stop producing all together. Teachers see this in classrooms. I see this in the work force. Instead of getting rid of the weakest link, we dumb down entire production systems to appease the poorer producers.

Why be a gentlemen if you don't have to?
Why be a lady if you don't have to?

If you can be a rowdy jackass, a douche frat boy, a lazy bit of white trash, as ghetto as ghetto gets and still get everything you want, why would you do more? It is the rarest of human beings for which self improvement is a motivating factor. Very few people look at what they have done in one day and said, "I will strive until I can do more everyday." For those who's motivation is to compete with themselves it matters very little what reward the rest of the world gets. And you can imagine how many of those people there are out there.

Competition for resource is the largest motivating factor in humanity with rare exception. So when the standards are lowered the entire system slowly grinds to a halt.


From my perspective I ask a few questions:

• Why should I invest in over priced make-up and expensive and mildly affective hair products if men aren't going to do the same?
• Why should I invest in it at all? I am pretty enough without the extra garbage. Why isn't that good enough?
• Why should I wear high heels, and impractical clothing to do my job when a man is allowed to be as comfortable as safety allows to do his?
• Why must I wear a dress around the house when a. I find them uncomfortable most of the time, b. they get in the way, c. they lack a certain practicality for most household chores if a man is going to wear jeans & tees all the time?
• Why must I be demure and polite and ask for something four billion times before I get it but a man can make a single demand before he starts swinging his fists at my face?
• Why must I keep my opinions to myself when a man is allowed to spout off whatever he feels?
• Why must I be lady-like when a man is pig-like?
• Why must I hide my assets (physical attributes) while a man is allowed to strut his?
• Why is my property communal while a man may horde what he likes?

I ask those questions in part from past experience, in part from a survey regarding ones' status as privileges and found myself lacking. Severely lacking. And in part because of the classic arguments between respect and repression. I have lived my entire life, all 44 years of it, listening to men claim supremacy by virtue of gender. One would think that I live in the deep, deep, deep south. But I don't. When the gender card lacks sufficient trump, the religion card is played.

I rather resent that. Christian men, read your Bible more closely. Better yet, study your apologetics more closely. It was only a select group of gossiping women in Corinth who were told to keep their trap shut. Paul didn't mean the entire gender. If he did then the letter he wrote to Timothy explaining what the value and character of a deaconis (Greek for priestess) would not exist. After all, if a woman is not allowed to speak in a church, she can't very well lead a mass. And for all of you men who want a Proverbs 31 woman to keep your house, read exactly what proverbs 31 says. It commands a woman to work in and out of the home, to run a business, to educate the children.... TO LEAD while all you guys have to do is sit on your haunches while your girth spreads.

The Bible entreats us all to treat each other with respect. Husbands are to value their wives in the same way we read how women are to worship their husbands in a Christian ceremony. It's just that we almost never hear that part. Read all of the Love Chapter.... the whole thing.

The problem with every argument for male supremacy and against feminine equality is the tendency for males to abuse the power that they claim and the false belief that a wife is property. A demure lady makes a good punching bag. A woman with the spitfire to fight back makes a guy think twice about hitting her. a demure lady is easily cowed into thinking that she is deficient in every way that counts and is easily emotionally abused. Emotional abuse leaves no scares on her, but in many cases puts a bullet in him. She is the one who gets into legal trouble. But no one does anything about the man in those situations until he is a corpse. A demure lady may be enticed into giving up her assets because the world is a big scary place. That kind of financial abuse leaves no physical marks until ruin throws them out onto the streets (worst case scenario of course). Financial abuse lets a man have as much freedom as can be debauched when he lacks solid moral character while a woman is left defenseless at home. You might think that I speak of Victorian era issues. But it still happens today. The newest gadgets come into the home to entertain the man while the basics leave a woman without a phone for emergencies, trash piling up in the house because the garbage service was cut off or with no utilities until he decides he is cold enough to pay the heat. I lived it. Don't tell me it doesn't still happen.

Beyond that, men who act like asshats make it 1000 times more difficult for those who don't. I have a wonderful new boyfriend who wants to hold open doors, who wants to open the car door for me. I'd love to wear dresses more often. And when we get to live together perhaps I will. He is the kind of guy who likes to get things done and will help do them. So I won't be in jeans doing all the work all the time. But I grew up with two gentlemen who were mocked for being gentlemen. They were mocked by asshats. And I see where men of a lesser constitution would cease to be gentlemen under that kind of bullying. I've lived with and dated men who could not be bothered to be helpful, men who liked to get in the way and demean other people's accomplishments. The effect on my life is that I hardly am able to imagine my boyfriend is for real. The effect on society is that there are fewer men like my boyfriend.

And that is your biggest problem. It isn't girls who wear what they like, it isn't the girls who throw themselves at men from the TV screen or in person. The biggest problem that men have are the asshats who dominate everyone else. Men who run the music industry tell men what they want; tell women what men want and collect the money from all those dumb enough to believe that the scantily clad, boozy, stupid hot messes are what they are supposed to want. Men who tell other men that being a gentlemen makes them a sap are the problem. Men who tell women that they can do whatever demeaning things they want to do and then use fists, cash, status to back up that statement are the problem. The men who mock the British Gents slowly taking over the hearts and minds of American women are the problem.

Men who mock kindness, generosity, peace are the problem.
Men who mock the quiet, strong silent types are the problem.
Men who solve problems with theirs fists, a gun or any other weapon are the problem.
Men who mock hard work, dedication and devotion as weakness or stupidity are the problem.
Men who can not stand up for what they know is right are the problem.

In a world where these men are in control it is little wonder that the tools most used to survive by women and weak spirited men are capitulation and submission. The will to survive will always trump logic and reason until we are all a little more enlightened.

For myself, I have no doubts that I have a boyfriend of strong character who will value me as he was meant to, who will care about me as a person and not as a possession. It is still a strange enough experience for me to find it a miracle. I have a boyfriend of estimable merit whose behavior as a gentleman is not dependent upon my behavior as a lady. That said, the more he treats me like a human being, a precious part of his life an himself, the less defensive I am and the more willing I am to go beyond myself for him.

That is the way it should be.

an Illustration of Misbegotten Vanity

We live in a society where it is perfectly acceptable to say who you are. And to say it loud and proud. There is only one problem with this new age of self-advertising: some of us have absolutely nothing to be proud of. Please, be aware that your vanity plate, like your username on a website, says almost as much about you as your table manners on a first date. And a vanity plate makes you far more memorable than the average alpha-numeric scramble you get from the DMV. Take heed that what you are advertising is NOT your ignorance or casual disregard for personal safety.
 To illustrate:



This morning I was on my way into work. I drive a busy street to get to the quiet residential short cut. On this busy street I entered the left turn lane and assessed the traffic. A speeding fire truck was headed my way. The intersection I was stopped at is home to one of several metro fire houses. But there was no real way of knowing if it was headed home or moving onward to another fire house. The distance between it and the car that had just gone passed me was not enough to safely allow me to turn without causing distress for the engine driver regardless of where he was going. So I waited.

The car in the left turn lane behind me DID NOT! He cut the fire truck off and sped down the 25 MPH street trying to beat the light at the main thoroughfare. Stunned. Angered. And more furious than fast, I sped only a little to catch up to him. He missed the light and was sitting stopped behind another car. I got right up behind him, pen in hand ready to take down the license plate.

It was a vanity plate. Figures.

It read KHAAAN. No it doesn't.

KHAAAN. Yes it does.

Really? Really?!?!?!?!?!

No. NO. NO. NO. NO!!!!!!!!

Get out of my fan-verse you horrible hot-rodding fool!!!!!!!!!

You aren't Captain Kirk!!!!!!!!!!

That isn't the Enterprise!!!!!!!!!!

And if Karma really is a bitch the next stunt you pull like that will see your car stall in mid turn.


How hard is he going to be to remember? Not.

Of course perhaps it is not his fault. Perhaps he went to the Benedict Cumberbatch Driving School.*






*Now before you all decide to lynch me, let me point out that Ben himself is the harshest critic of his own driving skills based on his recent Top Gear "Star in the Reasonably Priced Car" segment.

They'll Forgive Anything But Greatness

I love these guys. The first album was awesome. The second, Scoundrel Days, was simply brilliant. It was the title of this post, a line from the title track here, that hit me over the weekend. This is the thing that I have been struggling with the last few years where I work. In the American Corporate Culture of getting paid to do nothing, those who strive are persecuted. The Geek will inherit, but it will be a long hard struggle when swimming against the tide of lack luster performers. It's been hard. And as I dig in to fight the good fight while there are lies and rumors being spread, manipulation and punishment for things that are not true and attacks on a daily basis because I can outperform so many and make the girls club look bad without even trying, because I do not fit in with the un and under educated, I've hardened myself. I thought resilience meant that I had to convert all of my energy and skill into a narrow focus of will. Perform. Perform. Perform instead of Dance monkey, dance.

That tack is killing me. Slowly my psyche is rebelling and twisting against the pressure to win and claim my name. The anger at having so many people believe someone whose accomplice already confessed to trying to destroy me because of jealousy has been stuck in me. I kept it close so that I would not forget and thus drop my defenses.

And then I listened to the playlist on which this song appears. And I heard this in the refrain

We believe through the lies and the hating that love goes free.....
 
And we see.... as our lives are in the making
We believe through the lies and the hating that love goes free
Through scoundrel days

Statistical Probabilites my Ass!

There is a saying in the husband hunting clubs that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince. And there is a similar thing in mathematics wherein a barrel with 99 blue gems and 1 diamond with a participant drawing one gem per draw will eventually find the diamond. Or in Castle-speak, eventually the perpetrator will be Men In Black or Aliens. Eventually. In a case of a barrel of gems, eventually the participant will draw the diamond.... even if that means 100 draws to get there. In the case of the Frog Prince and the Princess or Gold Digger (whoever finds him first) that is a lot of frogs. A lot of potential for e coli, salmonella or botulism toxicity to ruin your happy hunt.

But statistics are statistics. Probability states that eventually you will hit your mark, one must simple continue to hunt for that which one seeks. So, if one dating site yields 2 good candidates every 6 months then 4 sites should yield 8. Of those 8 someone has to be a good match. Right? Right. So says math so say we all.

Then again, we know how math and I get along. I'm a 6° Geek in that I can connect dots one wouldn't necessarily think connected. Not in the sense that I have any functional abilities in the world of math and science. I am perfectly content with the succinct explanation of quantum physics as Timey Wimey stuff™ even if it is all Wibbly Wobbly. So while the statement of logic seems a reasonable one. The results suggest that it is time I face some hard facts.

• One or Six dating sites is going to yield me more frogs than I know what to do with.
• I am tired of kissing frogs
• I would rather sell frogs TO a French restaurant than eat WITH another one
• A successful match on paper is not necessarily going to derive a successful match in person
• No matter what a man says in his profile he is only baiting a hook with the best bait he knows, which is not necessarily the truth
• What a man says he is looking for is not really what he is looking for

I think, and I have said this before, it is time to cease the hunt. I am lonely without active mates to do things with. But everyone wants a ready made partner not someone they have to put time into. No matter how well the Internet can connect me globally to people who share my same interests, the Internet is not going to connect me with people who share my interests locally. While it may seem that I am backtracking on my birthday wishes to Benedict Cumberbatch last month and what I am planning on sharing with Richard Armitage next week, I am not.

It is simply time to realize that I have spent a life time cultivating a person that I find interesting enough to spend the rest of my life with, who is not going to be painfully boring to be with, can always find new things to occupy her time and mind with and will always excel at making short term friends specifically because I knew when I was 14 that I was not gong to be married. Sure sex is a little less interesting when you are by yourself and there is a great deal to be said for having a good massage after you've done something stupid to yourself. But in the long run that second person just might be extraneous in my life.

I've spent a life becoming someone who had the chops, interests and pursuits to be solitary. I see more possibilities as an adult than I did as a child and I am not so fearful anymore of all the things that made me want to be single in the first place. I've gotten to have some great short term relationships. And I've felt the connectivity that I crave. Though I do think that it is  time to evaluate the results my efforts have yielded and change tack once again.

I would love to have an RA or BC sweep into my life and be the key missing person. Truly what are the odds that will happen? There is an amazing world around me that I have been exploring. I am open to a great many things and have a heart with the capacity to love many things equally well and with the devotion of a religious zealot. Maybe I was never meant to be a wife or life partner but just the best fangirl/army enlisted/___bitch/Trekkie on the planet. Maybe rather than be married to a man I am meant to be emotionally and spiritually married to my interests and work. I wouldn't be the first person on the planet to do so. Katherine Hepburn comes to mind. While I greatly admire Kate, I would rather be Marie Curie.

After 5 years, 7 websites & profiles, hundreds of emails in which joy turns to angry sorrow I am going to have to realize that I'm not going to find my Pierre. I made the choice when I was 14. I spent 26 years equipping myself to fulfill that choice. One does not simple change ones mind and yield instant results. I still think that because Ben and Rich want that, that because they have always wanted that for themselves, that they should continue to be vigilant for the person that is to be theirs. And if either of them are to find her then they need to be more open and allow people to know them better. RA, especially needs to be less worried about "being weird" and people judging him. I let my flag fly all the time. And I find connections all the time. It's just that the ONE person that I want is not sticking around. So, for me, I will quit looking. If there is to be a man enter my life to stay then he will have to find me.

My head hurts from all the effort and my heart is as sick of statistically probabilities as Mr. Esper was of having me in his math class. I have to get back in touch with all the things that I've had to let loose during the last 3-5 years. Find the joy in the things that I have always reveled in and expand on those ideas. There are a good many things that I geek out about that have yet to be represented here on the Geek blog... which actually means that over the last few years my Geek has diminished by degrees that I had not noticed.

Don't click: Click You're Dead

or a proposal to turn referral spam in on itself.


So what brings you here?
What is a nice guy like you doing on a site like this?

Are you a guy? Did you think I was a guy?

Why do I ask?

My stats are inundated.... we're talking flooding the entire Nile River Delta, the Sphinx getting her paws wet inundated, from a site called the Tao of Badass. Now I'm just this little ole geek girl with the typical geek girl crushes and geek girl interests and geek girl hopes. I am weird even for some of my weird friends, breaking that threshold at a warp factor Scotty can not imagine. I lose people around not very sharp curves on a regular basis and have out geeked enough first dates to know that I will never get a second date if I don't tone it down.

The fact that I have not toned it down tells me that I am looking for a geek guy who can actually get over the hurdle or impress me with the creative alternatives. So far nothing too impressing. However, there is a lot to be frustrated about. And I have mentioned those frustrations here. And that makes me wonder if that is the reason that the Tao of Badass has found me.

It is a site designed to help men get the girl they have in their sites. It's rather glitzy looking. And I wonder if maybe it is from the same guy who likes to tell women what they are doing to chase men off and how to stop. I didn't look too closely at the site's actually contents. The fact that it is at the top of my stats makes me wonder about it being a spam bot. But a google search turned up all kinds of comments on youtube about the actual product eased those concerns.

So the Tao of Badass is a real thing though not on Amazon (or is it?). There are lots of other books that are almost the same but not that one. It makes me wonder if some of my ranting about how idiotic men are on approach brought them here. Perhaps the Tao has found me because of my tips on spotting a fake profile hunter, my rants about the stupid one liners... um. Wait. That might have just been on facebook. At any rate: Some how, for some reason the Tao has found me. And it turns out it really is mostly just a legit looking site that is used to hide referral spam. In other words it is linking to those similar looking books on Amazon but is not a real Amazon product. I'm sure someone will point that out to Amazon. So I will refrain from sounding that Trumpet and just let you guys in on a plot. A rebellion against the spammers. A way to Guy Fawkes the Fawkers.

And here is the thing. This looks like a real product. This guy might think that he has all the answers. So he might actually have some legit reason for being the top URL referrer. HOWEVER!!!! No legitimate traffic is coming to my site from his. So, since this happens so often. Since these kinds of people are so good at deflating our writerly egos. I say we take back the internet. And here is how:

First make sure you have the best anti virus software available to you and that it is updated. Run scans to be sure you are covered. If you are super savvy in tech talk then you can use Ubuntu to run a simulated desk top. I am not that savvy. So I am taking chances with doing things this way. Once you are secure proceed with joyous abandon but cautiously...

My fellow bloggers, open your dashboard and look at your stats. See those weird URLs that make no sense? DON'T CLICK them! Those are definitely spammers. Why bother creating a clever name when the random plinkety plink on the keys will yield an address? You'd think someone could come up with an algorithm to weed those random "poahgjajgpwu0t9hjagpka[     dot com"s.  I mean seriously if it is between a www. and a .com .net .org .co .whatever it should be clear that it is just spam. So DON'T CLICK THE RANDOM PLINKETIES!!!!!!!!!

Now to the rest of those URLs that show you who sends traffic your way. DON'T CLICK those either. CLICK AND YOU'RE DEAD. Instead open another tab then carefully highlight the possibly offensive URL, cut and paste that in the search browser and hit enter. One of two things will happen. The search will show the top search results: either a true fan or a list of people griping about referral spam and those who keep reminding the world DON'T CLICK!

And it is the second of the list that I want to talk about. All those people who keep posting about who the fake referrals are from don't write for their internet health. They write for yours, mine, ours. Referral spam takes the wind out of your sails as a writer/blogger. After days and days of this you wonder if it is worth it. The people who write to warn us of the spammers are fulfilling a civic duty. But they may also be providing us low tech folks who write for fun a way to stick it to the Spam-Man.

Read those blogs. Don't just read the referral spam posts. Read a few others. Follow whom you please. Publicly share their hard work. Leave a comment so that the author knows that you are a real person. Do this for a while. You will find some amazing content. And because there is so much referral spam out there and the "next blog" button is so awkward as to what it thinks is a similar blog to your own, you'd never find these awesome people in a life of Sundays. And when you comment let them know that you found them because the Google search showed them fighting the spammers. Just DON'T CLICK the links. CLICK AND YOU'RE DEAD.

Or hi-jacked. Which is like being dead in cyberspace.

This is the way that I found a pretty cool blogger that I follow on Google+ as well. As a matter of fact I have found a few cool bloggers because searching for the offending URL brought me some really good advice about avoiding spammers. Or a shared frustration and good old fashioned ranty rants.


I hate to think that my foreign visitors are just ghosts in the spam machine. But such is life. Again. Take the good. Take the bad. Then take it out on the spammers by becoming fans of their critics.

And...

DON'T CLICK. CLICK AND YOU'RE DEAD

I need a gif

Ä as in Ämazing!!!!

Technology and me have a love hate thing. I only love it when it works the way I think it should work or the way the Science fiction taught us it could work. And I hate it when it works the way that it does in the real world. For instance: Keyboard short cuts.

I have the same bad hand posture that I had in typing class. Being taller than most of my classmates, and thus a tad bit beyond the average used as a standard in determining what "functional" means for 95% of the population, I never fit right at a desk or table with a keyboard. It's kinda like how I don't fit sleeves in 98% of anything because I have monkey arms. I am always about 1.5 inches longer than a sleeve or too broad in the shoulder for the body of the shirt. So most of the time I am sleeveless. For sitting and typing I didn't have many options either. I would prefer to be hunched over my keyboard like Schroder over his piano. But alas... that trick almost never works. So my hands just plunk themselves down instead of float above the keys.

And therein lies the problem. Inevitably the pads of my thumbs hit the touch screen of my laptop mouse pad. And then the creative keyboard shortcuts hijinks ensue. I remember in college I did something that totally wiped out my screen and lost my cursor. The graphics teacher came to my rescue because I totally flipped out. I couldn't fix it. Control Z didn't undo what I had done. I couldn't find the cursor and I lost 16 hours worth of work. he hit a few buttons and it all came back. Apparently I accidentally enlarged the work screen by several hundred percentage points and was looking at a part of the project that was blank. And he never showed me what it was that I did.

So the other day I was typing along, minding my own business, when suddenly every word was underscored in red. Really? How did I just spell 16 words wrong? Oh... but I did spell hat right. Good for me... but "me", "but", "and" were wrong? What? It occurred to me that at one point I had hit a couple keys that I didn't want to. Since I was cognizant of that I played with the keys. And my finger slipped off of the "L" and landed on the colon key. Guess what I got...

ö

I accidentally changed my keyboard into German. I had chosen German as a second language at the set up. But I wasn't sure exactly when that would come into play. And I have since found out that, in so doing, when I load photos from the digital camera that it uses German prompts. Oops. That was trippy trying to figure out how that all works.

The alt+shift combo has to be the best accidental keyboard shortcut ever. Now I have Ümlauts and the ß, and whatever these are ´` and `` ´´ German styled quotes. But sadly I also have German spell check checking my English and capitalizing my cognates even though I don't want them capitalized. And for whatever reason they have done it this way, I have a QWERTZ keyboard instead of QWERTY. But that is okay. I have the umlauts and the es-tset (ß).

I can not tell you how amazing that is. Normally when presented with a name like Grönemeyer, you would spell out the umlaut as "oe". And that apparently offends some people. Or you would do the lazy American thing and forget the e and hope Herr Grönemeyer. Isn't offended. But mostly we just add an extra vowel like they did back in the day at Ellis Island. Matt Groening's ancestors would no longer spell it Gröning, Walter Koenig's ancestors would no longer spell it König. And my Gerbstadt ancestors would no longer spell it Gerbstädte.

I understand the philosophy that "Yer in Amerca now, boy" so you have to do things our way. And when you immigrate you should expect that to happen. You should be prepared for some things to change. From a practical stand point... how would an old fashioned standard typewriter ever been able to handle the grammatical and typographical demands of so many other languages. A typewriter would have been as big as a printing press! And how collectible would they ha.... hmmm...
how collectible would they have been?. I wonder.....

But from a calligraphic stand point it is a tragedy to lose the umlauts and the es-tset (ß). Germany has even changed the standards for print media spelling. So now a word that has had the three S composition is going to be spelled with three S instead of ßs. This happens when Germans build compound words. And they build them all the time, almost will-nilly, because they will let their language change with society. In essence, bowing to outside demand, they are doing away with the ß. So then

du warst meine

Große Liebe 

becomes du warst meine Grosse Liebe.
 
Translated as You were my Greatest Love, without the es-tset, the English mind may wish to read that as something else. English common usage of Gross shows disgust. Unless you are talking in units of measure in manufacturing or purchasing. Then its 12 dozen of something. Which would indeed be a very large or a great sum. With the es-tset in there you shock the English mind a little to break the connection to our own vernacular use. And it is just a pretty letter. It softens an otherwise hard-edged language. It is elegant in its calligraphy and economic in its purpose.

So I guess while the German language society is phasing it out, I am going to phase it in. And here is a wish that the Umlaut never dies!

Open Letter to the Verse

After all the ranting and raving I did on the subject of the stupidity of there being borders in a global economy that technology is able to leap in great cosmic bounds, you, Universe, have heard me. And apparently you agree with me that when information can be shipped via broadband there is no reason to keep the music I like out of my reach. And as an agent for change, Amazon.de has finally figured out how to get me my tunes on time and without the extortionist prices of a third party "collectibles" dealer. There is now, on its way to me, a shipment of Matthias Reim CDs straight outta Deutschland. The much covetted Unverwundbar (less than 8.00 EUR), Die Grosse Weihnachts Party and Hitbox. 

Amazon and my bank now will let me make international purchases. How will taxation work? I don't know. I am waiting to see how that goes before I go overbaord and replace the rest of what was stolen two years ago. Or get new stuff. Though I did pre-order the NEW ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes.

So thank you for listening. Thank you for agreeing. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that no one figures out how to stab me with my own wishes.

Political Comentary. Really? Really.

Usually, I try to stay out of things like Occupy Wall Street. And that is only because when I have been angry about the things that go on in closed door sessions when a handful of shareholders decide how things will go for the other shareholders, employees and customers I have been told that it is none of my business. Or worse, “That’s just the way it is. “ And every part of my being screams that it doesn’t have to be this way. I shut up about a decade ago. No one was listening to me because things were not bad. Even though Ennrron showed us that things were getting out of hand with the successful prosecution of those at the top, the public was content that the bad guys had all been rounded up and dealt with so that we could continue to do the things that we were accustomed to doing. What makes me say something now? Two things that have happened on face book in the past week. One of the anti protest protestors was trying to blame the Jews for the worlds money woes and the viral handwritten message from a teen that basically is telling the malcontents to “Get a job”. Some things will never change.

It is with these two images from face book stuck in my head that I read today’s USA Today and have a more cohesive picture of the Occupy Wall Street protest. 6b of the money section ran an article by Ben Jones about margarine limits. That is right margarine. Not margins. Margarine… a butter substitute. Wisconsin legislators made it illegal for restaurants to serve colored margarine tableside and prevent state prisons from serving it to inmates unless they were vegan or had health concerns. What does that matter? Special interest groups on behalf of Wisconsin dairy farmers, fearing loss of revenue to the artificial butter substitute, used the legal system to circumvent the natural capitalist process to maintain an industry. The article does not measure in dollars how this has benefited the dairy farmers over time. But it does highlight a symptom of the problem. Government and Corporations (in this case it is a unified dairy association which functions like a corporation) that undercut the capitalist process while simultaneously removing the freedom of individual choice to prevent a loss of income. How many other industries can you think of that use the congressional process to accumulate wealth regardless of deservedness meaning allowing the market to naturally dictate terms?

And by that I mean that capitalism in its purest form is the clearest albeit a simple demonstration of Survival of the Fittest. The market determines price. Demand from the market determines supply. In the case of Wisconsin’s churning debate this is not the case. Considering consumer concerns for cost and health, one could reasonably say that margarine could have killed butter sales for all but the die-hard bakers and cooks. The market was not allowed to chose for itself the fate of the dairy industry. And that is where you have frustration begin to settle in with these protestors. This sort of thing has been going on for years. And the only thing that the Artificially Fit have to say is “Survival of the Fittest Baby!” Because that is always how bullies defend themselves. But this victory for Wisconsin dairy farmers was not won on the merits of the product but by manipulating a system. It was won with layers not merit. But we all let these kinds of things slide because of the emotional impact in NOT having those laws. Anyone who would have protested making that law would have been asked what you, dear reader, are dying to ask me:

So what then? Are the farmers supposed to starve to death so you can have your fake butter?

No. The farmers are supposed to adapt like everyone else does when faced with a major change in their revenue source. The government already makes them discard their surplus and subsidizes them for losses that may or may not have happened had the market not been manipulated.

The other thing that caught my attention was a book review on page 5b of the money section. Steve Weinberg reviewed Retirement Heist by Ellen E. Schultz. In her book she takes an in-depth look at how retirement funds and pensions have been raided by CFOs at the behest of CEOs and shareholders to keep profit margins high. Her examples is General Electric. GE plundered pensions for its past employees citing a drain on operating funds due to the maintenance of generous plans. GE CEO Immelt insisted that the retirement plans were bleeding the company dry. After citing a few unmentioned facts in Mr. Immelt’s statements, Schultz informs the reader that in fact, the pension plan that way bleeding the company was the one for current upper level management positions… including Immelt. In other words, thousands of GEs employees, those responsible for doing the work that gave them the product that generated the income had their benefits taken from them so that those with the 6 figure salaries would continue to receive fabulously extravagant benefits.

This is the kind of thing that is wrong, that has angered them enough to protest. Nothing that GE did was illegal. It was unethical to be certain. GE, according to Schultz’s research, never added to the funds after 1987. So how did they steal millions of dollars legally? I don’t know. I did not read the book. But after Weinberg’s review it is clear that I am going to have to. And everyone tempted to tell the protestors to “get a job” should read the book too. A lot of people who are hard up now had jobs with good benefits. When the job was gone they had the pension to back them up and keep them in the fight. Without a pension they are down for the count.

And that brings me to some of the other things that are involved in the Occupy Wall Street protestors’ heads:
Lehmann Brothers’ global mistake that cost the wealthy and poor alike and the lack of accountability for those at fault.
NAFTAs wholesale shipment of American jobs overseas
Tax codes that allow large corporations to hide revenue thereby protecting it from taxation
Gas prices added to the Speculation table which now rise with the whim of the market and are no longer hinged on the price of a barrel of oil.
The housing bubble
Cuts in programs while pork barrel spending appears to continue unabated
People with a PhD who HAVE to work a fast food job

That is just for starters.

Get a job? Where? How much will it pay? How long will you, young teen on the way to college, be paying your student loans before you can have enough money to live on? Sure, you could take a hard line and say that these people who have little to do but sit on the street and complain should “Man up.” We’ve all complained about Welfare and said the same thing… when we were making 500.00 a week or more. Even making 300.00 a week we had the same smug satisfaction of believing ourselves better than “those lazy bums”. And I’ll grant you there are a lot of them out there. But every single person who is not making that kind of money is simply being the cog in the machine that they are meant to be. You have to have a variety of income levels just because that is the way things work. You are not going to pay a guy with a degree who builds your airplanes 7.00 and hour and get a good plane. But you also are not going to pay a guy 25.00 and hour to mop floors in a burger joint because the job, while back breaking, is something that any Joe Schmoe could do. And that is a fast way to go broke. The larger issue here is that idea that while those of us who remember the lessons of evolutionary behavior accept Survival of the Fittest because it makes sense and we see it in nature all the time, have kind of faith that the Fit Survive on merit of real strength. Bear v. Deer, Bear wins. Cat v. Mouse. (Mouse wins unless his name is Jerry, But lets leave the cartoons out of this, shall we?) That is fair. It is reasonable. And we have faith that is how these things are working themselves out.

But that is not the case. In a matter of corporate greed those who are surviving are stealing what belongs to another, conniving by having laws rewritten to benefit themselves and intimidating anyone who challenges them. Citibank had customers arrested who tried to close accounts with them on Saturday October 15^th. And just look at what trade agreements are doing to weaken us in a global market. Survival of the Ruthless and Amoral. This is what is bankrupting Europe and America. From where I am sitting the only difference between the elite in American Business and any number of mafia outfits is that the CEOs leave their oozies at home.

This is what the protesting around the world this past year has been about. Yes… you will always have some lazy people who want a hand out. But that is not who is raising a fuss. The protestors are people who want to be useful and want fair compensation for their contributions. They are people who want to live in a house with their family by choice and not by necessity. They are people who know that the champagne dreams and caviar wishes come at the cost of human lives. Really? Does anyone NEED anything gold plated in their plumbing? Who NEEDS a 1.5 million dollar gold plated license plate? Who NEEDS to own 5 homes each on the 8-10,000 square foot range? This is the protest.

Human dignity: The human need to be useful and appreciated, to be valued for ones skills and justly compensated. The ability to contribute to a community and receive appropriate care in return. To dream. To create a life. To add to others lives. To not be intimidated by any means into relinquishing his or her goods and humanity.

It is not American greed. That we are pointed to is perhaps the fault of failing to see beyond the image of Gordon Gekko’s stereotype. Corporate greed knows no race or political boundary. Greed is a human issue. Humans inhabit the upper eschelons of a corporation. Greed is a spiritual issue. I do not mean religious… spirit. Those who steal from others and amass tremendous wealth without thought to the consequences for those beneath them in the monetary food chain have poison in them. And somehow we have allowed these people to continue to function without doing anything about it.

I think of these protests as an intervention. Junkies steal, lie, cheat and manipulate to get their next fix. These megalithic corporations behave the same way. They need to be stopped. Just like in an intervention it starts with one person who is willing to say “You are hurting me and I can not allow this to happen.”

Greed is not good.

Greed has toppled regimes and entire dynasties.

Greed destroys everything in its path.

The line must be drawn. These people are drawing the line now. Before things get any worse for all of us… including those who think that having a job is any kind of security against the vagaries of the future.

Who Wants to Know What I Click on @ the Library

Mr. Atoz would poop his pretty little embroidered robe if he knew what our libraries are doing. Now to use the computer you have to register with your drivers liscense. I know. I know. I know. Who cares? After all the only place I go is youtube to listen to Matze, gmail to write notes that will be completely misunderstood by anyone who is not in my head when I write them, here to entertain or bore you guys to tears and maybe I go poke people on facebook. Big deal.

Well it is a big deal. If Google and Apple can't keep from leaving cookie crumbs on everything that we do then those mysterious 3rd party people with the megalithic data mining brains may one day be called upon by our governement to nark on us for what we write about. I know... so don't have a public blog. Oooh how very Chinese Government Bulldoggy of all of you who thought that. And see... that could get a person in trouble.

I can't help but have Orwellian and Huxley-an nightmares when I hear stuff like this. Because somebody is going to get a bug up there ass after winning a too-close-to-call election and decide that a certain type of person almost cost them their life's dream and use this data mining to go a-hunting. Not cool. Not right. and not fair. And what if someone who won by a landslide would like to go hunting for the "type" of person that their mother always taught them to avoid? Or that their pastor says is the bane of all human existence? And who is going to be the most compliant when it comes to helping these guys on their own personal vendettas?

Public Libraries. Afterall... they are government funded. So technically the government must have evry right in the world to know how its property is being used. Right? Um excuse me...... the government exists in THIS country for the people to allow us to govern ourselves and not be indebted, enslaved or indentured to a societal establishment. I my not have been the best history student in the world. But I know that we were getting pretty sick of the heavy handed way the English nobility lorded their "birthright' over everyone else as if everyone else was just another piece of furniture. And what are we doing now? We are sliding right back into that elitest crap that messed everything up in Europe for a while. And every advantage they can take they do wether they deserve it or not. So if the government which is being run by the people who call the shots in business and politics say that the libraries have to tell them who is using the puters they will tell them. After all who cuts off their nose to spite their face?

and what if someone who doesn't speak German sees all the german music I listen to and decides this little Jew-By-Blood is really a neo nazi? Matze's music is about love and life not death and entropy but will that matter to the next mutton-headed Czar-of-whatever-the-hell-the-government-fears-next? No. Oooh she listens to German music. She's evil. Get 'er boys!

And next comes the censorship.

Progress

I found a great German language book in the library. I was able to cruise through the whole thing and refresh my memory to know where my week points are. And I get to start somewhere in the middle. Reading comprehension is great. But the writing of it and the speaking are still rather tricky. The exercises, written out long form like they are supposed to will take weeks to do properly. But the boyfriend will be gone and I will still have housing issues so what better way to prepare for a trip and kill time this Summer?????? I mean really... a good german language book and old fashion farben und papier works jsut as good as a laptop.

Did I mention that I killed it dead? Or at least got it sentanced to a life in the limbo that is the backseat of my car? Yep. 5 days and I still can't remember my security code to even get the desktop to load. What kind of geek am I?

Cocky and arrogant regarding my mental capacity and heretofor excellent memory recall. Mind like a sprung steel trap I have.


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...................

Elusive Dreams and the ever-present Deprivation

Good Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish people would quit wanting to talk to me at 3 am!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have empathic friends? You know, the kind of friend that always seems to really totally get who you are and what you are going through at any given point in the day? Empaths are totally amazing people [ignore how much that sounds self congratulatory] with the ability to calm just by being present. Rarely have a negative thing to say about or to anyone because they totally get how human being human is. Forgiving, compassionate, willing to help and generous with their time. But you know what else is true about empaths?

Empaths don't punch a time clock. And they are not empathic because they can hear the pain in your voice. They FEEEEEEEEEEEL. You don't have to say anything. An empath can feel your vibe and share your pain without a word being spoken. And we can do it across the miles. But that doesn't mean that we always want to.

I've been putting up barriers so that I can sleep because I've been having this uncomfortable feeling in the middle of the night that someone is knocking on the back of my skull to get my attention. The stronger the barrier the more insistant the knocking. If you have empathic friends and feel panicky in the middle of the night you need your own way of talking your self down. Or be bold and brave and pick up the phone.

When I get woken from a fitful sleep I can not figure out who it is. And with my living situation I don't have use of my phone. It sometimes will take me all day to figure out who needed me so bloody badly. Knock and I am awake. And worried. Worrying about someone else in addition to dealing with my own cares is energetically crippling. Not knowing who I am worried about is like being in a saw movie. NOT FUN!!!!!!!

I am flattered that people feel my absensce so much that they need me at 3 am. But c'mon. Friends, do not do this to your empathic friends. They want to help you. But they can't be of any use to anyone when they are strung out by sleep deprivation. Oh, and your empathic friends look like they have their shit together and the world is a riotous bed of English wildflowers from your point of view, but they are really good at hiding their crap to avoid over-burdening others. Looking and Being put together are two different things. And empaths are just as messed up as any one else. So when you need them at 3 am send a txt or a short messege with the knowledge that they are not going to get to you till about noon local time. Drink some Chamomile tea or steamed milk and listen to Yanni and put yourself back to bed. You will, at least, give them a fighting chance at inner clarity and cohesion when they aren't looking through the empathic phonebook for that unlisted number than comes up on the psychic caller ID.

Now... on with your day.

The Land of Things I Will Never Understand

This is getting to be some pretty crowded territory! I know you know that being a geek is easier on the intellectual topics but not so much in human relations. So it will come as no surprise to you that I just don't get some people. And the types of some peoples that I don't get is an ever expanding category.

1. Malicious people who say things about you and your friends in hopes of dividing the friendship: First I don't understand why they do this in the first place. If it is to steal a friend from someone else that is stupid. Be friends with both. Or live and let live. Second if you do that to an enlightened person who is going to go to their friend and say "Dude, I wish you had told me you felt that way." you have to know you're going to get busted. And when the truth is out one of us is going to confront you. Case in point.

I was told that a good friend a. was trying to oust me from my job and b. that she told a bunch of people details of a relationship that I didn't want generally broadcast. So I said to her "The Pot Stirrer is at it again. What are we going to do about it?" My friend confronted the Pot Stirrer who denied ever having said it. Then in front of me said "I wish people would quit saying that I said things I didn't say." What? Well I guess it is no surprise. She tends to believe her lies so deeply that she seems to overwrite ever file in her head. I dare the secret government organization who retrieves our deleted emails from the ether to dig through her brain pan and NOT go completely mental in the process!!!

But the thing that I don't understand about the whole thing is that The Pot Stirrer then announced: "I'm going to go home and delete my facebook account and empty my cell phone! I am so sick of every body's bullshit... saying I said things I didn't say... have been places that I haven't been." She said it as though it was the worst thing that she could do to any of us and that we would be sorry for it. Huh? Sorry that she won't be driving wedges into friendships? Sorry that she won't be spreading half truths or out right lying? This is one of the women (childish little girls, truthfully) who was directly responsible for making sure that Sir Knight impaled his tomboyish Maiden Fair fatally through the heart instead of enjoyably in other places. And I'm supposed to be sad that she wants nothing to do with me? Hallelujah! Pop open the 7 Seals and let the Apocalypse begin!!!! You don't get teh Second Coming without the 4 Horsemen.... BRING IT ON!!!!!


2. I do not understand people who draw lines in the sand to keep you away and then get mad when you go play in a different sandbox. This is one for the Conversation Starter. Maybe in his infinite wisdom he can explain to me how this works. Sir Knight draws a line in the sand. I do not cross it. As a matter of fact I avoid it like it's an electric fence with about a 1000 gigawatts of juice coursing through its conductive veins. The line is the No Flirt Zone. I see him coming I run the other way. I don't make eye contact. I've done everything that I can to make sure that he knows that I know that the kind of elbow bumping nudge nudge wink winking in the hallways is totally off the table. But then he forgets himself after a few weeks and flirts. I made the mistake of thinking that meant I could flirt back because the New Berlin Wall came down. Oops! It was just cloaked in  light bending shield and my nose is bloody. So there has been a new understanding. We have been scheduled as many opposing shifts as possible. There is only one day that we spend 8 hours together and he avoids my department like its infested with tribbles. The AGM did this because "No one wants to work with you.... especially [redacted to protect me from libel or slander in case anyone can figure out who Sir Knight is]."

So yesterday I walk my newly reduced by 16 pounds ass into work in a really good mood because things are finally starting to even out in the me v. the world category. He' standing at the front desk in a conversation that I don' want to interrupt. I give out the general "Hey!" to everyone and keep moving. He says "Straw." and makes one of  those Commander Riker turns to walk elbow to hip through the corridor to the employee lounge in Riker-Troi fashion.
"So what are you up to?" He asks all husky voiced and seemingly genuinely interested in how things are going because it has been so long since we've had a real conversation. He might miss that as much as I do. But I am not falling for it again.
"About 5'8"."   [ba da bum!]
As we take a few more steps, he is grabbing at the bag slung over my shoulder. He stops takes my elbow and moves the bag forward out of his way and gives me a sideways Ferris to Cameron kick in the ass.
HEELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Line in the sand!!!!! WTF???
When I get to the employee lounge I look back and him as he is going into the office across the hall. He looks a bit dejected as he is staring after me like a puppy left at the front door.
"You didn't really expect a different answer did you?"
He shook his head and barely above a whisper says "No."
Never saw him the rest of the day.

He really only will talk to me when no one else can see us. He will only play with me when no one else can see us. If he were really still mad at me he wouldn't even bother trying to talk to me. So why the cloak and dagger? Why still act like the line has to be there? Why go through any of this at all? He said to me once that I wouldn't quit because there were good reasons to stay. "Like what?" He spread his arms wide and said "All the love." I hadn't the heart to tell him that he was the biggest reason that I was looking for another job. And if the love of the Pot Stirrer, Gully Dwarf, Bean Counter and the menacing Horde of Harpies is what I have to look forward to then there is no reason to stay once I have found a better fit. Why draw so firm a line of demarcation if you aren't going to respect it yourself?
I know that happens to people who try to quit smoking or diet... the habit is terribly strong to break. Sure, you'd think that being afraid of the deaths that await those demographics is a reason for them to respect the line and not cross it. But it is a force as strong as gravity. What is it that drags Sir Knight back into my orbit? Does he just like to torture himself or is he torturing me?

And why do we have to have these types of people in our galaxies anyway? I will never understand these kinds of people.

Damn it!

Okay. I tried to do something techno and totally got scewed. I will get everyone back on the follwers page but I may have to totally change the design. So much for following the money.

Geek sigh [facepalm]

Just caught a preview for the Green Hornet. I knew it was coming because there was a fan vid being promulgated on Twitter last Summer. The fan vid was cool, a case for Nathan Fillion as the Green Hornet. So now youtube has the previews. Wanna guess who gets to be the Green Hornet? Seth Rogan. Really?

See the problem with everything that I saw is that the Green Hornet from the serials my mother watched while the world revcovered from the Big War and the comics that I read as a kid is that GH was not... ever A COMPLETELY BUMBLING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess this movie will make a case for the sidekick being more adroit than the hero which will make all of us who are struggling with the inane obscurity of our lives feel a bit better about punching in at work.

But the hero is someone to look up to. You aren't supposed to want to hide under your theater seat because the hero is a moron. Your eyes are supposed to be glued to the screen enjoying the action and soaking up the exemplary behavior, learning to emulate while your admiration deepens. You are NOT supposed to watching your life line splintering in the palm of your hand!!!!

Now I wonder how Hawaii 5-0 is going to be ruined. Thank God they were kind to the Holmes story. At least not EVERYONE in Hollywood is a baseless coward, afraid to do something new and adventurous. In a case like this if their were an honest way to do futures (see previous post on subject) then I wold totally take the bet against this one and send some unnamed Guido on a leg breaking trip.

The good thing about this. And it is the ONLY good thing. In the fall when Big Bang Theory comes back Sheldon will have something wickedly scathing and derisive to say about this that will entertain me for weeks thereafter.

Jimmy Hoffa's in the Box Office taking your money

Okay now I'm getting really really really angry. Trading BOX-OFFICE FUTURES??????

Are you kidding me? That's what is driving up the cost of gas when the barrel prices say it should be otherwise. These jackals will bet on anything. They've already ruined health care and now they want to ruin the movies. Unbelievable!!! Everything that is run on the futures market is a scam.

No I can't support those statements with facts. I don't care to do more right now than start with point a and present point z. Futures have ruined the Ag Industry, the Pharmaceuticals, Real Estate, and even our utilities. We the consumer are the ones who end up paying to cover their bets. Just look around you at the things that are expensive and never used to be. I know, inflation. But inflation is artificially jacked up by the futures market.

Thankfully congress is smarter than those pariahs. But who's to say some group of elected officials down the road won't succumb to the stupidity.

who jumps through flaming hoops?

So in the process of getting a car several things have become apparent to me but the only one that really bears discussion is the circus that is the lending industry. Thankfully I do not have to rush out and get pregnant so that I can hand over my 1st born; nor, thankfully must we resurrect mother. What I did have to do is run laps around town to get the prelims taken care of. There was the title, the lien release paper work and a two trips to pick up the claim check. The first trip was to get the check and rush to cash it so that I would have the deposit when the car arrived. The second trip was because I was having a blond week and left my cell phone on the counter. D'oh! That was just the warm up before the first act came out.

My bank wouldn't cash the check and give me a cashiers check without a three day wait. But you can go to the Big Corporate and Impersonal Entity formally known as Hell No I Will Never Bank Here Again. Sarcastically, "GREAT! I love BCIE fka HNIWNBHA!" First the check is too big to cash without confirmation that the check was issued from their account. Huh? Second there is a fee to cash a check that big without an account. "Are you sure you don't want an account?" If I wanted one i would have one wouldn't I? Apparently being formerly known as HNIWNBHA has had enough time to forget the barrage of epithets I launched at it when IT overdrew an account by withdrawing funds four days prior to the established date and then closed my account so that when I went to pay the overdraft I was refuting there was no account to pay. I didn't want the account. I want the cashiers check. We have to call the Insurance company. Then...

There is a fee for checking a non customer check. And a fee for the cashier's check proportional to the amount it is made out for. "WhatchootalkinboutWillis?" So when I saw how much those fees were I got an account I didn't want. I kept 500.00 for myself because I have bills to pay. He set the money on the desk and drooly-slobbered as he asked "Do you know what you are going to do with that money?" Yes. KEEP IT FOR ME!!!!!

So I walked out of HNIWNBHA with a bunch of shiny new So Not What I Want and went home to meet my car. Then there was the second act.

As it always happens when you get a new car there are insurance issues. All you and I ever really want to do is go in, get coverage and get out before the ground opens and swallows you or your agent rep whole. The coverage was simple enough. And 35.00 more than the previous car. Owch!!! REP: do you need renters insurance? ME: You won't cover the house I live in because the roof is too old. REP: Life or health? ME: Well... will it help cut my cost? One hour and a computer tech issue later I had 125,000.00 worth of life insurance coverage and saved some money on car insurance. In the grand scheme of things that means I got whole life coverage + an 15.00 auto discount for 20.00 more than the last policy. How do they stay in business?

It is a circus. I don't know who the true huckster is in these situations the guys in the clown suits, the barkers outside the mystics tent or the man running the whole show.

I hate clowns.

Celebrate your friends

It is a beautiful day today. There is absolutely no reason that I should be angry or upset about anything with a beautiful Northern Michigan morning gracing us with her presence. And maybe, thanks to the weird connectivity inherent with a geek brain, that very thing GRACE is what makes me angry. Grace. Sure on the one hand it is poise and an harmonious balance of elements (Eurythmia- yeah. Like that.) but on the other hand it is just plain old simple manners. The world is venting grace the way a hull breech vents atmosphere.

I have this really awesome friend. He protects, defends and aids anyone that he sees needs help. He has a heightened sense of honor. Would be a great catch for some lucky lady as he is also handsome, charming, funny and affectionate. He is a bit on th bi-polar side and I like him better when he is off his meds cause he is Wakko Warner hysterical and we kill each other with the funny. But I digress. Anyway, I think it is his chivalrous nature that gets him into the most trouble. Just the other day he was telling me that a woman he works for casually asked for a favor. (Um, no. They do mix... like water and potassium. I shudder to think of the ramifications.) As I listened it occurred to me that she didn't really ask so much as told him he would have work on her house.

"Hey, I need you to (do this) for me while I'm out of town."

Um what? Where in that sentence is the "Please"? And where in that sentence is the "can you do me a favor"? Oh and how about considering his personal time may have other equally valuable and important items on its itinerary? He was astounded by the reason that she couldn't do it herself. I was astounded that he didn't notice that was a totally graceless and self serving move on her part. I know this happens to him all the time. I've seen it and heard it. Bosses aren't the only ones who forget their manners. So when I ask him for something I am very careful to ASK and then I make sure he gets a very enthusiastic THANK YOU.

But it isn't the same thing. Why are we like this? What is happening to us as a society? Really, upper management can't tell the difference between a personal favor and a regular duty roster? Yes she was going to pay him with her own money. That isn't the point. At work you NEED someone to do something. At home you WOULD LIKE someone to do something. Afterall, she acknowledged that it is a favor. I have bosses who do the same thing to me. But at least Jack, as I have mentioned, says Please and Thank you and he ASKS. She is his boss. He is not insubordinate by nature so he isn't gonna say no any more than I would tell Jack no. But I see it wearing him thin. He will be insubordinate by being abused. And every once in a while he looks me up for the express purpose of venting. It hurts to see him being used like that. And he knows he is. Once in a while he tells me that he has blown up at someone at work. Who wouldn't?

It isn't right. I know that we are in a better place socially than we were 200 years ago, 400 years ago and certainly better off than we were in the dark ages. But this condition of serfdom is creeping up on us again. The powers the be in any organization seem to have taken their authority for granted. Upper management is the new Nobility. And, in my not so humble opinion, is just as entitled to the perks and privilegde of those titles by virtue of being able to BS their way through a frat or a job interview to the same degree that the enobled of Europe were entitled to their p&ps by virtue of their fabled births. Give me a fruit-fucking break!!!! We are all human being, genetically descended from one of 6 genome pools with red blood, bi-pedal lateral symetry and a brain that is capable of operating at Soongian positronic levels if only it owuld be used! There is no REAL difference between any of us and tons of IMAGINARY differences. In the society we live in talent, skill and the willingness to participate in a project get trumped by the perception that titles matter more.

You are right. I would not put any kind of medical equipment in my brothers hand and let him perform brain surgery on me. Specialized skills and training do need to be acknowledge on a seperate plain. It doesn't make that doctor any better of a human being it just makes him a doctor. I am talking about us working class, working poor people. There is no real difference between him and his bosses or me and mine other than title. My bean counter can look at my life with a smug superiority only because he was better at not allowing his plans to be thwarted and has financial security. That doesn't make him a better human being than me. His boss can look at him and think that she is better because she doesn't have to sweat out the menial stuff like he does. But that doesn't make him a draft horse that needs no please, thank you or human kindness.

We all need grace. Not just the grace that flows from a divine being. But we need to give grace to each other. If we are not going allow all the greedy little Snowballs to beat us with the "some are more equal than others" stick and let us drive ourselves to madness then we have to be extra kind to each other. One of these days my friend is going to snap. And, in his defense, I will take up my pitchfork and torch in the grand tradition of my Eastern European ancestors and storm the castle to release him from whatever dank cell his running mouth got him thrown into. He is willing to do anything that is asked of him and that should be rewarded. If not with a .50 cent raise then with a please and thank you and with consideration. I think we all have friends who are in these situations. We need to be extra kind to our friends in the hope that it helps to ease the frustration and pain of living in a society that is losing grace.

Not that I want to start an argument. But it does strike me as funny that the United States is growing churches and mega churches on a Grace of Christ platform at almost unprecidented rates and it hasn't even begun to repair that pesky hull breech. I'll ponder than more but I can't promise that it will yield its own post.

in which I am reminded I don't have a penis

There are people where I work who make my job easy, people who make my job difficult and an handful that don't care if I am there or not. One of the people who makes my job difficult is our bean counter.. you know, because that's what they do. No one likes bean counters other than the people who see the profits from them doing an efficient job. I get that. It's a universal thing and as old as at least the New Testament. But the latest thing just makes no sense.

We have a partnership with a corporate entity who said we needed to have someone who's job was to keep the publicly viewed and used areas clean. That is all they do during their shift. Bean counter decided that it was unnecessary. While I don't know that exact words that ran through his head when he was struck from behind with this epiphany, I imagine it went something like this: "Sherry doesn't have enough to do if she has time to be behind the bar making coffee for guests and popping off about things that she has noticed."

I have a history with this guy. Every time I need something ordered for my department he makes the maintenance guy do an inventory to verify the need. It seems as though every time I open up my mouth about something that he decides someone with a penis needs to make sure I know what I am talking about. It happens so regularly that the last time Maintenance went to count linens he finally asked "Why do I have to do this?"
"Because I don't have a penis."
"You're crazy."
"Do you have a better explanation?"
He walked away. I know he didn't believe me. So now we've condensed two jobs into one. We in laundry now have to spend part of the day cleaning public areas. It wouldn't have been a huge problem except that he reduced the number of hours we can work to get all of this done. During the week it is slow enough that this crazy idea is passable. On weekends we have problems. I can't get into the pool area to clean it before it is full of people and it is never not full of people. The other problem is that the sales department books events for 8 am, wants the public areas clean before the even starts and the first person in comes in at 8am. I know what you're thinking. It was the same thing I was thinking, "How much for just the time dilation device?"

So I said to the GM, maybe someone should come in at least an hour before events start. And maybe come in early on weekends. My super suggested the same thing. "We'll give that some thought." Really? How would you like to be the first guest on the scene, hit the bathroom and see that some ignoramus already bombed the hell out of the bathroom when the bar closed? So my super mentioned it in a meeting a week later. No reaction. Nothing. I mentioned it to the GM again. Nothing again. Then the maintenance guy said something about the early events. "Well, you could mention having someone come in early."
"What good would that do?"
"They might listen to you."
"Yeah? What makes you think so?"
"You have a penis."
So nothing happens. And nothing happens. Then this week the Sales manager, in the managers meeting, says to the GM, "You know, we should just go ahead and have someone come in early on the weekends. Especially before these early event." The ideas was seconded by her assist. The GM says to my super, Yeah we soooo should do that. "Do you think Sherry will come in early this weekend?"
Um what? Didn't I say that I would, could and SHOULD no less than 5 weeks ago???? I need hours since I can't live on 27.5 hours. But that was never the point. The point was that our business was starting to look like crap and we were not dealing the customers a good hand. I would have come in an hour early and gone home an hour early if the hours were too big a deal to them. But it looks like that isn't an issue. The issue is that I have neither penis nor status to ensure that my suggestions are heard. Oh wait! I lied. If I make more work for myself to do then I can be heard. Like not meaning to volunteer myself to clean carpets this weekend because I am tired of everyone telling me how we are falling short of our goals. Oh yea! I get to run the carpet cleaner.

Mr. Spock, odds that I can find someone with a penis to do that for me?

torturing the mathematically challenged geek

Comedy=Tragedy+Time

As I said at Wil's blog... just how much time is that?
And where is the line of demarcation between then and now that allows the funny to happen?
Grrr...