It is awfully difficult to know the difference between a trend and a self-fulfilling prophecy. But Paranoia is easy to spot. Thing is... just because I am paranoid about messing up more opportunites for interpersonal relationships does not mean that I am not assured of messing things up.
I am in the middle of a negotiation with a very sweet person who is trying to help. Now I am feeling guilty about it and have a logical reason to refuse the help. I could get a car and put money in the bank now that the total damages have been assessed. Or I could go with his option and I think end up with another car loan. Granted it would only be about 100.00 a month. But why pay it? And [gulp] what if he won't let me pay the rest? See... the goal in making friends is not to use them. And I feel like I would be. Even though the car he is offering is newer and would required less upkeep and has the added benefit of lasting longer than the other option. The other option gives me the benefit of money in the bank.
So I am writing you guys in real time. Waiting for him to decide if he's mad cause I am turning down his help ( I really think that is the smartest thing to do) and thus turning him down... which I am not doing. And its been 15 minutes since I IMed him to let him know the email seeking his guidance (he is older and wiser) was in his inbox. So let's take a poll:
Who thinks that he thinks I'm not asking him to understand that I am telling him no; but that he thinks that I am asking him eat the rest of the car price cause I'm such a nice girl?
I want him to understand that I still want him to hang out with but that it would be smarter to go the other way. But with the luck that I am having these days he'll think I want somehting for nothing. Or something for THAT.
I really should have heard something from him by now. I mean geez...
Well if anyone can mess up a good thing its me. Why don't I learn. It is 5:06 EST. I'
m signing off to see if watching an Inbox makes the emails any faster. So it doesn't work for a watched pot. Sue me.