Wow WTF?!

I knew it could happen. I have taken a huge risk in going on line. Okay. Not huge. Not really a risk. Rejection in the real world often equates with rejection in cyberspace. It's just that in cyber space no one can hear you scream... another drawback to technology.
So I have been trying to chat with some interesting people on a singles site. Not for any real reason... liar. Okay, for all my bluster, I am tired of being alone. And I am not afraid of people, I am afraid of one person who mucks things up for me with astonishing regularity. But, I was amazed at the sound lashing that I got today.
I wrote a well crafted and eloquently gentle humorous response to someone who will not communicate with me without photos. Not even a hello. And another who won't email but wants to talk by phone after only fleeting glances at one another. I wouldn't give Adonis my phone number in a bar after two furtive glances... why would I give someone my number after two emails and no personal stuff revealed? I learn way more about posters to Wil's blog than I learn from these guys!
Angry? A little. I mean c'mon... don't all relationships start with a Q&A? How else do you know about people? Astonished? Yes, little bit more than I am angry. I would think someone of his age would know better. That's what I get for thinkin'. If I examine what I feel in any depth beyond the shallow end of a chlorinated pool, I will see that I knew this would happen.
You see, from one profile I could tell that the "no pics no prize guy" is deeply afraid of people, it doesn't help that he is on the shy side. And the "Brit" is not really different from the person he likened himself to in his profile. It is amazing the huge amounts of clues that a person gives in their profiles no matter how cleverly they believe that they have disguised themselves. And it is more astounding to me that I could have missed so many clues as to feel rejected as though Matt had just walked out on me again.
Fraser Crane I am not. But I do like to think that I have some faculty for deduction. I learned from the best though that education was (gulp) 25 years ago. After a decade of near isolation, I can see that I am a bit rusty. That did not prevent the voice of Nieve's reason from telling me that neither person was going to like what I wrote. And she was right. So now I can send another site some cash and see if that gets me anything or I can live my life skulking around Wil's blog, blogging on my own and being very much the geek I was born to be and being alone.
Nieve would like to add her voice to the chorus that just called me a cowardly chump.
Those rejections went right to my heart chakra. It was just a thump, like space debris bouncing off the hull of a great ship. The chakra is intact, unbruised, no hemorrhaging insulation, and as I knew that I was making them run I also knew that I could not have had either. "No pics" needs too many reassurances. "Brit" is too set in his ways; he's Greg not looking for Dharma. I stood no chance. And that's fine. But I do want to run from this and not try again. That is the coward's part. The chump part...
Somewhere in the part of my being that has overdosed on Hollywood sentimentality, I wanted this to be "You've got Mail." For as angry as I was that Matt would dump me because I didn't participate in the John Cusak romance movie script he wanted to act out... I wanted a Tom Hanks happy ending to my first attempt.
Chump. But still... I have only the resounding exclamation of WTF? in my head. How could this have gone so wrong so fast with so few attempts when my other profile has 187 guys waiting for me to respond? WTF!