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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Knave of hearts

The prodigal knight returns with promises of glory. Iwonder. This week he is all affection and wild ideas. We've run through the building tickling and avoiding tickling like a couple of elementary school kids. Well... run is an overstatement. Both of us being much older than school children. But he had returned to the flirtatiousness of youth. I feel so much younger around him than I have in a long time. And that is saying something since I still sit cross-legged at every oportunity, despite my body's protests.
He spoke of something I dare not repeat for fear of the Cosmic jinx. But he spoke in front of others who have not seen his behavior to so blatant a degree. The one says that the sincerity in his face erases all doubt in her mind of his intentions. The other stared in wide eyed amazement at his bold intrusion into my personal space. Moreover, that I would allow so gross a transgression. I've had back and neck rubs all day. I could not be more happy if I were a cat curled up in the sun on a thick cushy quilt.
My greatest hope is that this turns into something that will generate more art of the quality that I have achieved and intend to surpass. I fear that the work that has garnered the most interest comes from the period of my last great relationship. They remain largely unfinished... as the relationship was. This explains why I am loathe to sell. It isn't that I can't. I won't.
There I said it. I ma emotionally attached to the work because I made it when someone was in my life. I don't wish to remain connected to him. I simply do not understand what went wrong therefore I don't know how to finish them.
By Riker's beard! What a connundrum.
Please pray that he figures out that he isn't too good for me. I don't know how to reassure him of that.