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Wednesday, March 7, 2012


I used to be a huge Oscar show fan. You know, back in the day when I could look out into the audience shot and recognise everyone but the non-famous spouses of the nominees. Lately I have not cared much. The biggest part of the Oscars for me is the month long chance to see everything on my movie bucket list. So Sunday night, without thinking about anything more than a dip in the spa and a alcoholic coke, I went over to work.

As I got close to the entrance I could see a woman in a fancy red evening gown. "CRAP!", my brain screamed at me. "There is an event." The rational part of my brain settled the score pretty quickly as the facial recognition software kicked out one name: Marilyn Monroe. She's dead. It was a lifesize cut out. I went in.

There was an Oscar party in the lobby. I headed straight for the pool. When I was done I got to the bar just in time for the last 5 categories. The only ones I paid some attention to were best picture: Yea for the Artist! and best actor Yea for Jean. Oh... that is Vive le Jean! But a funny thing happened while I was sitting there.

Two guests came in from their evening out and ordered their last call. They came in at the 4th category from the end. No one was really watching it. I was talking to Ken. They talked  amongst themselves. Then someone said Tom Cruise. They looked up. I heard the Mission Impossible theme and I looked up: to scowl at Tom Cruise in his Napoleonic Glory, riding the coat tails of a wonderful show.

The one guy with the English accent, we'll call him the Bloke, and his friend started commenting.
BLOKE:                     How'd they do that?
BLOKE'S FRIEND:   Do what?
BLOKE:                     Make him look full sized.
BLOKE'S FRIEND:   Lower the podium.
BLOKE:                     He's standing on something.
BLOKE'S FRIEND:   Phone books?
BLOKE:                     Soap box? Christ he looks like a real grown up there. Must be stanidng on                                      something.
ME:                             He's standing on Peter Graves' shoulders.
BLOKE:                      AYE he is!

I gues I am a snobby purist about things. For Tom Cruise to be the end all be all of the MI franchise is crazy. Peter Graves lead a wonderful ensemble cast. Without martin Landau, Greg Morris, Leonard Nimoy and the others it would not have been much of a show. Does anyone remember who starred with Tom Cruise in the new movies? No. Do his cohorts show up from movie to movie? I seem to remember everyone but the girl dying in the first one.

It is great music. It belongs to the composer. Not to Tom Cruise. And if he gets to Heaven I hope Peter Graves punches his lights out.

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