Jane and Rochester posts explanation

The story told in the Jane and Rochester [see Jane Eyre, Austen] posts, I hope, illustrate my opinion on attraction. I am still bothered by No pics guy insisting he won't speak to anyone without pictures. I don't care to use brain cells on the issue. But he keeps viewing my profile. I presume he is looking for those elusive photos of my average not much special self. I had ranted in long hand. It felt good. But I can't rant and transcribe without the emotion behind it. So I told the story about Ethan... names changed to protect the innocent. And I hope it makes my point.

If not I will summarize thus: if you are going to be hung up on looks, I can't be confident that you understand the import of character, loyalty and emotional security. I think that guys who get hung up on looks spend a good deal of time worried about who is looking at her and who she's looking back at. And women who get hung up on looks give us a bad rep because it screams "Finicky". A girl who is always looking for the next hottie to walk by is a girl guys don't want because she's never going to be satisfied. Oh, I know looks are important. I know that a person who doesn't meet expectations is a buzz kill. But, I have experienced something beautiful that everyone should experience once. I know that Ethan has been the best husband that a guy could be. He redeems the role of husband in my jaded eyes. I only hope that where ever he is he is happy for the choice that he made. And I would also hope that every one looking for the perfect person for them remembers what really counts is the heart and the soul.

I see how the wrong choices made in the foundational stages of a relationship make people unhappy and in the worst cases, vindictive. We aren't going to get very far on our path to enlightenment as a species or individually if we don't understand even this basic concept.