Daniel, did you dial the right address?

We've been to the planet before, kids.

I know I never told you about the guy who swore that G'd told him we were going to be married. It was during the peek phase of my psi emergence. I was at the point where I could speak everything my friend Lee was saying to me as he said it... off the top of his head. It was eerie and it scared both of us.
So we are in this home fellowship group. I have a crush on one guy, Lee can't make up his mind if he likes me or not but we spend tons of time together because we are the only geeks either of us know and this other guy, we'll call him TrekII keeps getting caught staring at me. I'm the one who would catch him.
It was rude and inappropriate. I babysat our group leader's kids frequently and he would stop by to talk to her. I'd turn around and there he was staring over my shoulder and down my shirt. Never ever knew how long he'd been there before I caught him because you never could hear him coming up on your six. As Summer got into full swing and the kids and I were at the beach, I'd catch him staring at my swimsuited behind. And he would keep staring even after I gave him the "Eyes back in the sockets or I feed them to the Goa'uld" look better known as "Rodney you're a pig" look. At first, when he couldn't cover his actions I thought it had something to do with his mental state. I forget what it was that Trek II had, but it impared his speech and cognitive functions so that working in an ER would be a bad idea. Well pretty soon she was sending "us" on errands. Then I get a bunch of flowers and cards in the mail on a regular basis. No one could say I wasn't being pursued. Except our small group leader who frequently said it was my imagination... up until the flowers came.
Well, I kept telling her that there was no way I was doing anything about he guy I had a crush on because I didn't want a guy around. She kept smiling that imbecilic smile that people give you when they are trying to tell you that they know better than you do. Well, this goes on intolerably for about two months. I began to dread every function. And I kept telling her I wasn't interested. And then she pull out the stopper: she expects that I would make a great mate for Trek II, who now has his sites set on pastoring, because I am smart enough to edit his sermons and have all kinds of talents that a pastor's wife needs to have. Great! But the key talent and quality needed to be a pastor's wife is to have any feeling beyond loathing for said pastor. So I tell Lee what I think is going on. He says I'm nuts. We bet. I tell him exactly how the next "family" dinner is going to go. Trek II and I will be sent on an errand to the grocer and then she will arrange for Lee to be gone from the room when we sit down so that Trek II and I will be forced to sit together. She got Lee out of the room alright. She took him into the kitchen to tell him to stay away from me because TrekII had "a message from G'd that I was to be his wife and help mate". I got a similar message: "Trek II thinks that you were meant for him. RUN! Run for your life! Run for all you're worth." I wasn't destined to stay in that group for long and I wasn't destined to be his helpmate.
After dinner Lee tells me what she said. I tell him what happened while he was gone and I tell him that the time was coming when he was going to announce his attentions in the group. He was never going to ask me out for a date, to get coffee, nothing, he was just going to propose in front of everyone with the certainty that he was in the right. That just because he believed that G'd told him something was so that he didn't have to go through proper channels.
And here is where we get to the present. And this is where the space time continuum gets a little fuzzy. MA has no stated intention of becoming a pastor, but he was certain that my response to his initial flirt meant that his life was a go for launch. I'm not saying it isn't, and he is going through the steps, he's just taking them at about four a time. It's this idea that this is somehow ordained that bothers me. That is where I think I've been to this planet before.
And it rankles my self determination. Unlike Trek II, I have not been told to run for the hills. At this point, G'd, my guides and my heart are saying this isn't a bad thing and the immediate future will unfold with greater information so do not pass judgement. I take this to mean that MA isn't completely wrong for me. It's just that I am so unnerved by the sense of deja vous that I am ready to don the she woman man haters persona again.
Trust me... I'm not she-woman and I don't hate them. I just wonder why it is that when they "know" something it has more credence than when a woman "knows" something? So maybe it isn't the deja vous that rankles so much as it is my sense of justice. Spiritual gifts, such as discernment, are not stronger by gender, though that would seem to be the line that is drawn in the sand mandala.

And now I have a splitting headache from all this wondering. Why can't relationships be simple and unpresupposing? Why don't I ever learn?
And why do I think that I am going to make MA very very angry? Or at the very least disappointed? I am to his faith what SG-1 was to Tomin. That can't be a good thing unless he is beginning to see the Ori for what they are and is two baby steps into his journey out of the fold. But what are the odds?