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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Celebrate your friends

It is a beautiful day today. There is absolutely no reason that I should be angry or upset about anything with a beautiful Northern Michigan morning gracing us with her presence. And maybe, thanks to the weird connectivity inherent with a geek brain, that very thing GRACE is what makes me angry. Grace. Sure on the one hand it is poise and an harmonious balance of elements (Eurythmia- yeah. Like that.) but on the other hand it is just plain old simple manners. The world is venting grace the way a hull breech vents atmosphere.

I have this really awesome friend. He protects, defends and aids anyone that he sees needs help. He has a heightened sense of honor. Would be a great catch for some lucky lady as he is also handsome, charming, funny and affectionate. He is a bit on th bi-polar side and I like him better when he is off his meds cause he is Wakko Warner hysterical and we kill each other with the funny. But I digress. Anyway, I think it is his chivalrous nature that gets him into the most trouble. Just the other day he was telling me that a woman he works for casually asked for a favor. (Um, no. They do mix... like water and potassium. I shudder to think of the ramifications.) As I listened it occurred to me that she didn't really ask so much as told him he would have work on her house.

"Hey, I need you to (do this) for me while I'm out of town."

Um what? Where in that sentence is the "Please"? And where in that sentence is the "can you do me a favor"? Oh and how about considering his personal time may have other equally valuable and important items on its itinerary? He was astounded by the reason that she couldn't do it herself. I was astounded that he didn't notice that was a totally graceless and self serving move on her part. I know this happens to him all the time. I've seen it and heard it. Bosses aren't the only ones who forget their manners. So when I ask him for something I am very careful to ASK and then I make sure he gets a very enthusiastic THANK YOU.

But it isn't the same thing. Why are we like this? What is happening to us as a society? Really, upper management can't tell the difference between a personal favor and a regular duty roster? Yes she was going to pay him with her own money. That isn't the point. At work you NEED someone to do something. At home you WOULD LIKE someone to do something. Afterall, she acknowledged that it is a favor. I have bosses who do the same thing to me. But at least Jack, as I have mentioned, says Please and Thank you and he ASKS. She is his boss. He is not insubordinate by nature so he isn't gonna say no any more than I would tell Jack no. But I see it wearing him thin. He will be insubordinate by being abused. And every once in a while he looks me up for the express purpose of venting. It hurts to see him being used like that. And he knows he is. Once in a while he tells me that he has blown up at someone at work. Who wouldn't?

It isn't right. I know that we are in a better place socially than we were 200 years ago, 400 years ago and certainly better off than we were in the dark ages. But this condition of serfdom is creeping up on us again. The powers the be in any organization seem to have taken their authority for granted. Upper management is the new Nobility. And, in my not so humble opinion, is just as entitled to the perks and privilegde of those titles by virtue of being able to BS their way through a frat or a job interview to the same degree that the enobled of Europe were entitled to their p&ps by virtue of their fabled births. Give me a fruit-fucking break!!!! We are all human being, genetically descended from one of 6 genome pools with red blood, bi-pedal lateral symetry and a brain that is capable of operating at Soongian positronic levels if only it owuld be used! There is no REAL difference between any of us and tons of IMAGINARY differences. In the society we live in talent, skill and the willingness to participate in a project get trumped by the perception that titles matter more.

You are right. I would not put any kind of medical equipment in my brothers hand and let him perform brain surgery on me. Specialized skills and training do need to be acknowledge on a seperate plain. It doesn't make that doctor any better of a human being it just makes him a doctor. I am talking about us working class, working poor people. There is no real difference between him and his bosses or me and mine other than title. My bean counter can look at my life with a smug superiority only because he was better at not allowing his plans to be thwarted and has financial security. That doesn't make him a better human being than me. His boss can look at him and think that she is better because she doesn't have to sweat out the menial stuff like he does. But that doesn't make him a draft horse that needs no please, thank you or human kindness.

We all need grace. Not just the grace that flows from a divine being. But we need to give grace to each other. If we are not going allow all the greedy little Snowballs to beat us with the "some are more equal than others" stick and let us drive ourselves to madness then we have to be extra kind to each other. One of these days my friend is going to snap. And, in his defense, I will take up my pitchfork and torch in the grand tradition of my Eastern European ancestors and storm the castle to release him from whatever dank cell his running mouth got him thrown into. He is willing to do anything that is asked of him and that should be rewarded. If not with a .50 cent raise then with a please and thank you and with consideration. I think we all have friends who are in these situations. We need to be extra kind to our friends in the hope that it helps to ease the frustration and pain of living in a society that is losing grace.

Not that I want to start an argument. But it does strike me as funny that the United States is growing churches and mega churches on a Grace of Christ platform at almost unprecidented rates and it hasn't even begun to repair that pesky hull breech. I'll ponder than more but I can't promise that it will yield its own post.

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