Again?

Back on a losing streak. Weight that is. For a while I gained some back, which stands to reason. Everyone gets a little Holiday Bulge going on. What is unusual though is that it is February and the streak is starting. I guess that is a good thing. I mean that just gives me a head start on the swimsuit season. I just wish that I liked the reason that I am losing weight.

It used to be that when I was upset I would pig-out on chocolate, omelette's and other assorted high fat high carb items. Now... well I get my coffee in some fashion, have dinner with the boyfriend and somewhere in between I try to manage a snack. This is especially important when I am at work. I need to keep up my strength and not have anymore dizzy spells. Yeah, checked on the diabetes. Negative. But I am kinda to the point where I just don't feel like eating anything.

Depression? Could be. Today especially but that is because of the weather. You know, rainy days and Mondays. Yes, I know it's Thursday. But beyond that... today probably just started out on the wrong foot. And I am overly tired. But being overly tired doesn't really explain the cramping in my stomach when I do eat.

I think that I should count my blessings. The Winter weather has broken and I went for a walk in our downtown this morning. It helped to have a bit of fresh air and see what is going on in my home town. The walking I am inspired to do probably will help keep the weight down too.

Why am I obsessing about the weight? I don't know. It never bothered me before. Even when I weighed in at 270. That was a load of grief. When the grief passed I went back to about 225 and stayed there for a while. Now I'm down to about 185. I could stay here a while. But its kinda become an issue with others where it has never been one before. And when I get to this weight I get more attention. That isn't necessarily a good thing. But with a boyfriend to consider I guess that it kinda makes sense.

I don't know. Might even be a case of genetics. Grampa was able to lose weight by merely thinking it, it seemed. and my cousin Sharon trimmed right down when she hit her 40s. It just could be that I am the lucky recipient of a gene that likes thin in old age and plump for youth. Go figure.