Elusive Dreams and the ever-present Deprivation

Good Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish people would quit wanting to talk to me at 3 am!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have empathic friends? You know, the kind of friend that always seems to really totally get who you are and what you are going through at any given point in the day? Empaths are totally amazing people [ignore how much that sounds self congratulatory] with the ability to calm just by being present. Rarely have a negative thing to say about or to anyone because they totally get how human being human is. Forgiving, compassionate, willing to help and generous with their time. But you know what else is true about empaths?

Empaths don't punch a time clock. And they are not empathic because they can hear the pain in your voice. They FEEEEEEEEEEEL. You don't have to say anything. An empath can feel your vibe and share your pain without a word being spoken. And we can do it across the miles. But that doesn't mean that we always want to.

I've been putting up barriers so that I can sleep because I've been having this uncomfortable feeling in the middle of the night that someone is knocking on the back of my skull to get my attention. The stronger the barrier the more insistant the knocking. If you have empathic friends and feel panicky in the middle of the night you need your own way of talking your self down. Or be bold and brave and pick up the phone.

When I get woken from a fitful sleep I can not figure out who it is. And with my living situation I don't have use of my phone. It sometimes will take me all day to figure out who needed me so bloody badly. Knock and I am awake. And worried. Worrying about someone else in addition to dealing with my own cares is energetically crippling. Not knowing who I am worried about is like being in a saw movie. NOT FUN!!!!!!!

I am flattered that people feel my absensce so much that they need me at 3 am. But c'mon. Friends, do not do this to your empathic friends. They want to help you. But they can't be of any use to anyone when they are strung out by sleep deprivation. Oh, and your empathic friends look like they have their shit together and the world is a riotous bed of English wildflowers from your point of view, but they are really good at hiding their crap to avoid over-burdening others. Looking and Being put together are two different things. And empaths are just as messed up as any one else. So when you need them at 3 am send a txt or a short messege with the knowledge that they are not going to get to you till about noon local time. Drink some Chamomile tea or steamed milk and listen to Yanni and put yourself back to bed. You will, at least, give them a fighting chance at inner clarity and cohesion when they aren't looking through the empathic phonebook for that unlisted number than comes up on the psychic caller ID.

Now... on with your day.