A panoramic view of a small cove on the Leelanau Peninsula.
We drove past his house to get here. I thought I would be okay. I am not. Anger has given way and now I am just at sad. I didn't know that this cove required flying passed his house when I said I would go. I've lived here all my life and never realized that this is what the kids were talking about. If she had known it would make me sad, we would have gone rock hunting on another beach. We didn't and now I am sad. Sad and in the process of doing something as unhealthy for me as eating a gallon of chocolate ice-cream...
by myself...
on the couch....
binge watching TV....
not journalling....
and definitely not looking at how to improve the situation.
As each day to the new job comes closer I am sadder and sadder than I can't say to him that I made it. I said that I would and I did it. That his answer to the stress and the discomfort on some days was the wrong answer. I don't get to show him that I am not a quitter.
They say that you are supposed to get out and do things when you are sad and in the grip of depression. They say that you are supposed to break out of your routine. They say a lot of things and mean well.... but to get here, we had to pass there. And the whole adventure on Sunday was exactly the routine that We went through on each of our adventures. At least this little cove was not somewhere that We had gone to get away from the world. We missed it by about 3/4 of a mile. To the left of this shot, out of the frame, is the beach that I took so many pictures from last Summer. The beach on which we found a jetty bearing wild strawberries.
I think that I might have to spend the Summer indoors to get the taste of bittersweet memories out of my head. Or at least, spend it on the porch with Teeny.
Prepare for the Summer of Cat pictures.
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