The last of the renovations are done. I am looking to fill out staffing positions. And I need a vacation. It's still going to take some time to get back to whatever the new normal is going to be for me at 45. Next weekend begins the season of company coming.
I might be too old for much of this.
We all get old. Everyday looks the same, feels the same for so long. Then boom one day nothing is the same. A good nap, a book and some music with about 8 hours of solitude and I am good to go for another week of a topsy turvy schedule. It used to be that way. Last Summer the BF and I were always out and about. But I wasn't working full time either. The Summer wore me out and I needed a recuperation period on a scale I hadn't known before. Maybe the hamstring and the kidney surgery changed something in me for good. Maybe my age is catching up to me. Thing is, 45 year old people in my life are more spritely than I. Feels like it's a bad thing.
I am working full time, digging out of last Winter's debt. And I have no energy for any of the things that I enjoy. I've changed tack to birding and gardening just so that I can say I am doing something. Again, since I am not going many places this Summer, I have opted to enjoy the home. Thus the flowers and feeders which attract the birds. The plants soften things up and make it feel like a retreat instead of just feeling like you are stuck outside.
And of course this is the rainiest Summer since I was a kid. Cooler than most. I can totally dig that.
I am wondering how long before I can settle into a routine and have some energy to engage in life instead of being the old lady I have become. I don't think that I am going to like being this way now that I have discovered I like some activities I thought were beyond my reach.
There is a bit of a difference between sedentary and no energy, you know.