I figured out why I am so angry. At least a large part of it. It will take a bit for me to formulate the words to accurately reflect the anger without inducing it. But it involves wrapping up a bunch of bits of who I am and setting them aside in an attempt to "Grow up."
I put away things that I thought I didn't deserve, that I told myself was a waste of time because everyone else in my life said it was. I listened to the echoes of voices in my head who were not correct in their thinking when they were part of my life. They were still doing damage even when they were sent away. I let them have power that they did not deserve.
And it festered.
It festered until I had a heart condition.
It festered until I did something about it.
If I am going to be able to help people I need to have a better grasp of the process I have gone through.