The buzz around work is that we are goingto be enrolled in a health improvemnet/weight reduction program. I am particularly excited about it since all this housekeeping has reduced me two pant sizes. I am the size I was at graduation. I'm on the high side of the old average and the low side of the new averawge. Oooh ambivalence rears it's confused head in the real world too. And with the community atmosphere I will get to be where I've wanted to be.
I don't think super skinny is attractive. I never want to be super skinny. I've always been limber and I could still do the North Bar hike without being winded or dropping the cooler. And I can still leg press the 230 pounds that got me evil glares from our vasity football captain. I could be healthier. And I don't need the weight any more.
Yes, I did just say need. I needed it to cushion the attacks from bullies both foreign and domestic. I needed it to prove that I wasn't going to be like mom no matter what. And I needed it to keep me from being dragged up a slide and thrown down. It also kept me from being bodyslammed. Pretty soon it became a good indicator of who to trust/detecting superficial people/discouraging unwanted attention. Like they say the best defense is a good offense.
I've always been the smallest in my social circles, well except for Karen and Verta. And I know that onceI start and there is a community to share the health I will melt. I have most of my maternal grandparents genetics. Grampa went from 340 to 155 in just over a year. I don't weigh anything close tothat. And when I am happy I can do anything.
I am happy. I miss the things we used to together... volleyball, hiking, swimming like otters in Lake Michigan and bike riding. Imiss horseback riding too. But overall I am happy. And that makes the biggest difference.
Happy is good.
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