While the parental units were freaking out about D&D when Tom Hanks' "D&D warped my brain" movie came out we were all wondering how to get in a game. I was in 7th or 8th grade. There were several groups of geeks in our school. I couldn't be part of any of them. My mom was the detention warden so I was persona non grata in every group. In highschool, when we grew up a little and learned something about not suffering for the sins of our mothers, Dragon Lance came out. When I started reading it, I was part of a group that would finally acknowledge that girls can like dragons, armor and crests. Good thing too because the faux family crest was an 80's fashion staple. I still hit the glass ceiling when it came to the game. I knew if the boys wouldn't let me play RISK! they wouldn't let me slay dragons with them.
And there was the first of many misconceptions that took years to get away from. It wasn't until the ripe old age of 23 that I played in my first game. It was a weekend, 15 people spent the night at my house and we ran a map all the way through. It was a basic game, dice only. Hit or miss no extensive rolling to inflict damage. It took 12 hours. I don't know the name of the campaign we ran. I only remember that there was a one way corridor [our mage sealed the corridor behind us when we attracted the attention of a large number of Orcs and our barbarian lost brain capacity] that opened into a room... an empty room. Three walls stone. One wall polished metal, a mirror. No latches, no loose stones to indicate a foot pad trigger. No spells. Everytime the mage launched a spell it bounced back at him. We'd seen something similar before and decided to restrain him... he insisted he could bust through it. Stupid half elf mage. So, we spent the barbarian's strength bashing his head against the wall, the dwarf's staff splintered. Our leader kept insisting that we would suffocate since the mage stupidly sealed the corridor. I kept insisting that we could get through this thing if we would stop and think about it.
Here's something the newbie should refrain from doing... don't be smarter than the seasoned gamers. The leader kept yelling at me. After an hour they threw the dwarf. The dwarf and the mage had gotten into each others face... I mean the players representing said characters. It was getting pretty ugly. The DM was loosing patience with all of us. The barbarian got pissed and picked up the dwarf when the dark mage, taking the leader's side, suggested dwarf tossing to amuse themselves while the air ran out. DM intervened. "How does the dwarf hit the wall?"
"Ass first so that when he lands on it it'll knock some sense into him."
Done. The dwarf went through the wall.
I wish I could say hilarity ensued. I was tired, angry and desperately needed excedrin. At this point I was thinking this was the least fun thing in the world. I thought maybe girls don't really get it. DM asked me what I was doing. "Huh?"
"What are you doing while these idiots are fighting?"
"Standing in a corner twiddling my thumbs. Why? You wanna roll the dice on that too?" The room went quiet. I guess the first rule of D&D is that the DM is G'd. Second thing newbies don't do... sass g'd.
"What did you say to me little girl?"
Oops. Oop would have been the proper response. Instead I said "You heard me."
"Describe what you are doing. In detail. Leave nothing out."
I huff, blowing my bangs out of my face. Then I drop my knapsack with a thud.
"What is your problem?" the half elf asks.
"You guys are idiots." I put my hands on my hips. "I'm tired, I cold, I want to get out of here and you guys are giving me a head ache." I grab a piece of fruit from the sack and start chewing. "Go ahead and fight. When you've killed yourselves I get your treasure, your weapons and the satisfaction of knowing I don't have to deal with any of you."
"Only if your roll is successful."
"Why should have to roll, I'd have to be dead to not be able to carry your crap."
"Because it isn't fair." the mage whined.
"I guess you should have spell protected your weapons." The DM barked. He'd told the mage to think seriously about that.
As it was, I sat down, crossed my legs and leaned against the mirrored wall with a smug look of satisfaction on my face.
"She disappeared." The DM said.
A collective "Wha...?"
She's gone. They wanted to take my knapsack and split my limited treasure. It took them another 30 minutes to figure out that they had to go throughthe wall walking backwards. It was grueling to have won some kind of respect from those guys. And I did. the barbarian was pissed that I seemed to get the nuance of the game. But that's the way things go for geeks. The next time we played we were more involved.
I built a character, sketched her and built a back story that I presented to the DM because I was just that into the possibilities. That was a fun campaign. We had to reconvene twice. But we never finished it. the game got ugly hwen people wanted to add some realism and some of the in fighting bled into the map. If it hadn't been for that, I would have been a gamer forever. The group broke up and I couldn't get people to play if evryone couldn't play together. it was a gruesome end to somehting that could have been fun.
I saw recently that there is a Star Gate module and there will most likely be an anniversary game book for Dragon Lance. I want to play. I see people, other geeks and nerds, who played a long time ago before everything was on line. Dice, face time, pizza in middle earth... a delicious anacronism... I would love to play again. How do I find them? Can I still find a set of dice in town? Ah... the things that might have been.
You'd think that Gary Gaigax's death last year would have made me nostalgic for D&D. But no... Wheaton went to PAX and he's deep in the RPG books. And he can't get the boys to play with him. So many want to play. But we are do far apart physically.... how does one get a game on when there is only the net?
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