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Friday, June 25, 2010

who jumps through flaming hoops?

So in the process of getting a car several things have become apparent to me but the only one that really bears discussion is the circus that is the lending industry. Thankfully I do not have to rush out and get pregnant so that I can hand over my 1st born; nor, thankfully must we resurrect mother. What I did have to do is run laps around town to get the prelims taken care of. There was the title, the lien release paper work and a two trips to pick up the claim check. The first trip was to get the check and rush to cash it so that I would have the deposit when the car arrived. The second trip was because I was having a blond week and left my cell phone on the counter. D'oh! That was just the warm up before the first act came out.

My bank wouldn't cash the check and give me a cashiers check without a three day wait. But you can go to the Big Corporate and Impersonal Entity formally known as Hell No I Will Never Bank Here Again. Sarcastically, "GREAT! I love BCIE fka HNIWNBHA!" First the check is too big to cash without confirmation that the check was issued from their account. Huh? Second there is a fee to cash a check that big without an account. "Are you sure you don't want an account?" If I wanted one i would have one wouldn't I? Apparently being formerly known as HNIWNBHA has had enough time to forget the barrage of epithets I launched at it when IT overdrew an account by withdrawing funds four days prior to the established date and then closed my account so that when I went to pay the overdraft I was refuting there was no account to pay. I didn't want the account. I want the cashiers check. We have to call the Insurance company. Then...

There is a fee for checking a non customer check. And a fee for the cashier's check proportional to the amount it is made out for. "WhatchootalkinboutWillis?" So when I saw how much those fees were I got an account I didn't want. I kept 500.00 for myself because I have bills to pay. He set the money on the desk and drooly-slobbered as he asked "Do you know what you are going to do with that money?" Yes. KEEP IT FOR ME!!!!!

So I walked out of HNIWNBHA with a bunch of shiny new So Not What I Want and went home to meet my car. Then there was the second act.

As it always happens when you get a new car there are insurance issues. All you and I ever really want to do is go in, get coverage and get out before the ground opens and swallows you or your agent rep whole. The coverage was simple enough. And 35.00 more than the previous car. Owch!!! REP: do you need renters insurance? ME: You won't cover the house I live in because the roof is too old. REP: Life or health? ME: Well... will it help cut my cost? One hour and a computer tech issue later I had 125,000.00 worth of life insurance coverage and saved some money on car insurance. In the grand scheme of things that means I got whole life coverage + an 15.00 auto discount for 20.00 more than the last policy. How do they stay in business?

It is a circus. I don't know who the true huckster is in these situations the guys in the clown suits, the barkers outside the mystics tent or the man running the whole show.

I hate clowns.

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