|Downtown Grand Rapids under construction|
Sweltering with thunderstorms, oppressive humidity and a kicked up anxiety. I would only have added 2 hours to the hike time and felt that a reasonable early start would get me where I needed to go. And my phone would have cooperated with instructions. However the heat and the heart medicine was not working well. Nor was the anxiety. Unlike last hike, I would be going it alone. That seemed unwise once I started to map out the walk. And the anxiety totally overrode any advance that I have made in reclaiming my adventuresome spirit.
So I spent the week in the hotel. Reading, applying for jobs and figuring out how to capitalize on all of my talents. I have leads, I have help. Now I just have to organize life so that I can do this thing. I also spent the week with a ghost in the room.
Legit. My friend and the cat were in one bed and I was alone in the other. I could totally see them in their bed. But SomeThing kept touching me. You know that thing that cats do when they want to walk on you but are not sure that the escape route is as secure as they would like? That tentative half pressure with one paw on your hip that is judging the solidity of the ground upon which they are about to walk? Yeah, that pressure... FOR TEN WHOLE MINUTES!!!! I finally asked if Sam was really in the other bed or if I had only seen her shadow when I looked over to double check. Light comes on and poof... Sam lifts her head from her own lap with that one-eyed kitty glare of death that makes you glad cats can't Force Choke. Yet. It wasn't Sam.
That happened the night after I saw a shadowy figure get into bed on top of my friend. I keep calcite on me for bubbling protection and happy energy when I travel. And this thing in the room took all of the energy for protection in the room. It didn't bother me. But it was odd that it seem to make eye contact with me when I noticed it. As it got lower over my friend, as if on one elbow, it just stopped. I could tell from the way the shadow was curved it was facing me. And when we noticed each other, only the head moved. Instead of moving like one does as the head is about to hit the pillow, the head bobbed up a bit, perked to attention. We locked eyes, in a manner. Then it just slipped down into the space my friend occupied. Once, I noticed that it was standing by the wardrobe.
This was midweek. And yes, it could have been the anxiety causing hallucinations. Yes, it could have been the meds doing the same. The thing is though... I've been on the meds since April and this is the first that I have issues? Also the only thing that has been visually abnormal? I kinda don't think that it is the meds, I think that was a legit ghost. And I say ghost because it wasn't menacing. At least I don't believe it was the cause of the anxiety because I was rather left alone other than those two incidents.
Anyway, I had a week away from home. Even if I didn't do much of anything I did what I needed to do. Have space to not think. To work and to spend a lot more time grounding from the inside out. In Winter there will not be the same weekly trips to the beach to rely on. I must find a way to accomplish that myself with meditation. And if I don't start practicing now I will be in trouble later when I am cooped up in the house.